It is claimed that The X Factor's ludicrous/possibly amazing eight-piece boyband are still looking for a name. They are even running a competition to look for a suitable moniker.
Let's assume for one moment that this is a genuine predicament and not one that has been invented in an attempt to increase #engagement in the run-up to the live finals. Let's just go with it and accept that this band does actually need a decent name.
Here are 25 suggestions, any one of which would surely be perfect.
1. Better Eight Than Never
2. Huit Just A Goddamn Minute
3. #8anter
4. It Must Be Something I Eight
5. Love Octually
6. 8 Seconds Of Q4
7. A Huge Evergrowing Pulseighting Boyband That Rules From The Centre Of Fountain Studios
8. Byte
9. Variable Interest R8
10. Middle Eight
11. Bottom Eight
12. Maids-A-Milking
13. One Fat Lady
14. Magic 8 Ball
15. Magic 16 Balls
16. TUV
17. Identical Hairpieces Of Eight
18. 5ive And Some Spares
19. Green With EnVIII
20. Triple 8 ÷ 3
21. 2w0Cub3d
22. Myriad Directions
23. Eight Boys One Haircut
24. Leave It M8 It’s Not Worth It
25. OctAve A Banana
You're welcome, mystery X Factor boyband. You are so welcome.
(Readers — if you'd like to use one of the above names to enter that competition please go right ahead — they do st8 "don't use the number or word 8" quite clearly but we think some of our suggestions are strong enough to make them change their minds.)