R Kelly has said that he knew his 12 year marriage was over after he watched twee shitstorm The Notebook.
In another extract from the brilliantly-titled Soulacoaster, The Diary Of Me 'memoir' (as reported here), he tells the sad story of his relationship's demise in the following way.
"As the film credits started to roll, I couldn't move. I burst into tears," he begins. "People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. 'The Notebook' was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine [SPOILER ALERT] had died together."
So far so heart-wrenching.
"But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine's Day — when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses(!) — that had come and gone… My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back."
Blimey.