Justin Timberlake is at Number One because he is now single — a con­veni­ent devel­op­ment at a time when he is launching his new album — and will now def­in­itely get back with Britney. He is also at Number One because we are inter­ested in what his navy blue handker­chief means and because we've suddenly remembered that we own www.justintimberlake.co.uk. When he had his last album out we decorated the page with a picture of Justin kissing himself and Jive asked us to take it down. :(

'Up at three' is Lily Allen, because her new website is brilliant (IN SPITE OF HAVING A FAR FROM COMPLETE LINKS SECTION) and because we have listened to her album more than once and because we saw her backstage at T4 On The Beach and she was wearing a nice dress.

It's 'in at nine' for Paris Hilton's single, while McFly are back in the chart for both 'Please, Please' and their cover of Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now', a song we could quite happily never hear ever again given a 'new twist' (sort of) by The Fly. Client, meanwhile, are in at Number 7 because they've sent us some of their new tracks which are BRILLIANT and one in par­tic­u­lar is so good that it caused our entire website to explode last week. All American Rejects, meanwhile, make the chart for being the best pretend emo band in the world.

Something about this Almighty list makes us feel a little uneasy and we will probably change it quite soon.