As you may have noticed, the Brits are happening tonight.
The shortlists this year are pretty shocking in the main (where is Sak Noel in International Male?!?) but from the options we've been given we've picked our winners, and we've also taken a guess at who might actually win.
British Male Solo Artist
Shortlist: Ed Sheeran, James Blake, James Morrison, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Professor Green
Who we want to win: Professor Green, who made an album which had just enough heart and just enough hardness and just enough pop and just enough not-pop to establish him as a unique British artist. He also has interesting popstar hair.
Who we think will win: Ed Sheeran. Did you know that he wasn't signed to a record label and didn't have any hit singles, and then he signed to a major and sold loads of records? Revolutionary!
British Female Solo Artist
Shortlist: Adele, Florence & the Machine, Jessie J, Kate Bush, Laura Marling
Who we want to win: We like Jessie J a lot (WITH CAVEATS) but Adele's effortless mastery of the whole 'singing some good songs quite well' 'thing' is unbeatable this year.
Who we think will win: Adele.
British Breakthrough Act
Shortlist: Anna Calvi, Ed Sheeran, Emeli Sandé, Jessie J, The Vaccines
Who we want to win: Jessie J. She has made her mark on a global level, she's amazing enough to be a decent role model for a generation while still being human enough not to be completely fucking boring, she knows one end of a tune from another (even if her live performances sometimes suggest all memory of a song's original melody has somehow been wiped from her brain), her new hair is brilliant (cf Pro Green) and when she's not trying to heal the world she's funny and smart.
Who we think will win: We don't reckon Emeli Sandé would/should be allowed to win this and Critics Choice, and we don't think Universal will allow Ed Sheeran to win this one, so we think it's Jessie J 'FTW' here.
Shortlist: Arctic Monkeys, Chase & Status, Coldplay, Elbow, Kasabian
Who we want to win: Well we're spoiled for choice here. We'd say Chase & Status and Coldplay are trying to make something new out of something old while the others revel in doing nothing of the sort, and out of those two Coldplay write better songs. So Coldplay it is, although we'd prefer a night out with Chase & Status.
Who we think will win: Elbow.
Shortlist: Adele — Someone Like You, Ed Sheeran — The A Team, Example — Changed The Way You Kissed Me, Jessie J feat BOB — Price Tag, JLS feat Dev — She Makes Me Wanna, Military Wives/Gareth Malone — Wherever You Are, Olly Murs feat Rizzle Kicks — Heart Skips A Beat, One Direction — What Makes You Beautiful, Pixie Lott — All About Tonight, The Wanted — Glad You Came
Who we want to win: Of all these singles, Olly Murs and Rizzle Kicks were listed highest in our 2011 singles roundup.
Who we think will win: In a normal world Adele will win this, but we don't really live in a normal world, we live in a world where JLS and One Direction have been going mental on Twitter attempting to swing the public vote. We'd say One Direction could win this.
MasterCard British Album of the Year
Shortlist: Adele — 21, Coldplay — Mylo Xyloto, Ed Sheeran — +, Florence & The Machine — Ceremonials, PJ Harvey — Let England Shake
Who we want to win: Adele.
Who we think will win: Adele.
International Male Solo Artist
Shortlist: Aloe Blacc, Bon Iver, Bruno Mars, David Guetta, Ryan Adams
Who we want to win: Aloe Blacc can do one; Ryan Adams doesn't count for reasons too glib and biased but also numerous to go into here. We're not sure we want to encourage David Guetta's policy of indiscriminate collaborations and throwing so much shit at 'le' wall that some of it has to stick in the form of a half-listenable song, and we liked the Bruno Mars one about getting married. So it's BRUNO MARS.
Who we think will win: Bruno Mars or Bon Iver. Bruno Mars is performing isn't he?
International Female Solo Artist
Shortlist: Beyoncé, Bjork, Feist, Lady Gaga, Rihanna
Who we want to win: Lady Gaga needs to have a long hard look at what she'd doing and we don't think an award would help make her do that. Therefore: it's Beyoncé.
Who we think will win: Rihanna.
Shortlist: Fleet Foxes, Foo Fighters, Jay Z/Kanye West, Lady Antebellum, Maroon 5
Who we want to win: Fleet Foxes.
Who we think will win: Foo Fighters.
International Breakthrough Act
Shortlist: Aloe Blacc, Bon Iver, Foster The People, Lana Del Rey, Nicki Minaj
Who we want to win: Nicki Minaj.
Who we think will win: Bon Iver.
Outstanding Contribution to Music
Who we want to win: Mark Wood.
Who we think will win: Blur.
Shortlist: Emeli Sandé, Maverick Sabre, Michael Kiwanuka
Who we want to win: As much as we like Maverick Sabre and Michael Kiwanuka (and that 'muchness' is somewhere in the region of 'not much at all really'), we'd have to go for Emeli Sandé here. She has appeared on various great singles, has one great single of her own, and has written a song for the mighty Susan Boyle. We can't help but feel that tonight's Brits — and the campaign as it continues in the run-up to Mothers' Day — is the point where MOR credentials are really hammered home and we feel a bit sad about having to let Emeli fly off and make her nest in Newboringworld because it didn't need to be this way but if you love someone set them free, right? FLY, EMELI! FLY!
Who we think will win: Well Emeli Sandé already has won so there you go.
Shortlist: Paul Epworth, Flood, Ethan Johns
Who we want to win: Paul Epworth
Who we think will win: Actually was this announced last night? Either way we'd take a guess at Epworth here.
So there you go.
If you are wondering where all this article's potential LOLs went, we used them all up doing this.