News just in from Sun showbiz purveyor Dan Wootton who, the details of the below tweet tell us, is currently in Mandelieu-la-Napoule, France. Alright for some right guys???
— Dan Wootton (@danwootton) May 18, 2017
You know, it’s only when you see it all written down that you realise how 2017 this song’s DNA really is.
✔ By a former member of One Direction
✔ Feat Quavo
✔ Ed Sheeran writing credit
All it needs is a guest vocal from Dua Lipa for a total full house.
Naturally, ‘Strip It Down’ poses its own questions.
Questions like: when he’s stripping it down does Liam favour a heat gun, or a chemical stripping agent such as Nitromors?
Like: does the fact that he co-wrote it with Ed Sheeran mean that he unknowingly actually co-wrote it with several other songwriters whose names will be added to the credits in four months?
Like: how will those who’ve spent the last two weeks feeding all their coins into the Harry Styles Thinkpiece Machine react?
Like: if Liam had to spend the next twelve months trying to either drive a bottle of Bacardi or drink a Ferrari, which would he choose?
Like: before agreeing to allow Quavo onto his single, did Liam first seek assurance from the man himself AS KATY PERRY ALSO SURELY DID that his attitudes towards the gays aren’t as bad as everyone thinks?
Like: why is he saying he “used to be in 1D” when as everyone knows One Direction are actually just on hiatus? Has Liam confirmed the band’s ultimate split, or if it’s just about Liam’s departure why isn’t Dan Wootton running with “LIAM PAYNE QUITS 1D”? In fact did Liam quit, or was he kicked out, and if so what could Liam possibly have done to warrant being ejected from the band mid-hiatus? WHAT DID LIAM PAYNE DO???