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From the sublime to the shit

  • October 23, 2006
  • Popjustice

Here (right) is the video for Pink's 100% terrible new single, 'Nobody Knows'.

It is the video you may have read about a few weeks ago in which she gets her clothes off, and when you hear the song you will know why she felt that the whole release might have needed a little helping hand.

Absolutely awful.

Of course, this single 'drops' just as her last single, 'U + Ur Hand', continues to get better with every single listen.

For this reason we think instead of making baps-ahoy videos in an attempt to drum up interest for lame-o-ramic efforts like 'Nobody Knows', Pink should abandon the release com­pletely and just re-release 'U + Ur Hand'.

Think of the benefits to this brave new marketing concept.

  • No need to shoot a video — there has already been one made. This saves around $100,000.
  • Similarly, there are no costs asso­ci­ated with designing a new single sleeve, because one has already been designed. We do not know how much money this will save but the usual cost is probably vastly out of pro­por­tion to the fact that all you have to do is chuck a logo on a photograph. 
  • Money is saved on radio plugging — because radio is already playing 'U + Ur Hand'. Employing our amazing new idea, no CDs will need sending to radio or, for that matter, press.

This has to be the way forward not just for Pink but for all major artists. We will have a word with her record label about this idea and let you know how we get on.

  • pink
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Looks like metal, sounds like pop

  • October 20, 2006
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"There's always been a Glitter beat element to my etc etc"

  • October 23, 2006
  • Popjustice
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  • 1
    Congratulations to Charli XCX and Lorde: winners of the 2024 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • 2
    The 2024 Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 3
    The 2023 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 4
    Fine, let's do a Substack then.
  • 5
    The 2022 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist
  • 6
    2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
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