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Because it's not real music

  • May 22, 2007
  • Popjustice

We know you're not usually a violent bunch but if you can watch the first 25 seconds of this clip without wanting to run out into the street and punch somebody you're doing pretty well.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irk3_p15RJY

The clip from last year (via here via here) is from 'Before The Music Dies', a doc­u­ment­ary film in which some people with too many Mars Volta albums in their vinyl col­lec­tions state the obvious — that it is possible to make people appear to be able to sing — to such an aston­ish­ing degree that "if you eat nothing but burgers for a month you might get ill" suddenly sounds like an unusual revelation.

We haven't seen the whole film but we suspect that its fish-in-a-barrel approach opts not to cover the countless sup­posedly 'authentic' guitar bands and troubadours who couldn't live without Auto-Tune, or the fact that the Americanidolisation of the pop industry has revived the concept of pop singers who actually can sing. 

Unbelievably, it gets worse. If you are not already in a complete fury, check out the super­cili­ous cunt pat­ron­ising music fans at the start of this other trailer for the film.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGbosEWlytc

We've been through this argument once every eight days for the last fifteen years and we're not going to get into it again but JESUS CHRIST these people judging Elvis Presley, Dusty Springfield, Frank Sinatra and Diana Ross on the merits of Ashlee Simpson is like judging their own beloved Bob Dylan on the work of Rick Witter.

(Although that com­par­ison doesn't quite work because Shed 7's 'Disco Down' is better than Bob Dylan's entire back catalogue. But you know what we mean.)

  • ashlee simpson
  • bob dylan
  • elvis
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    Congratulations to Charli XCX and Lorde: winners of the 2024 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • 2
    The 2024 Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
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    The 2023 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
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    Fine, let's do a Substack then.
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    The 2022 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist
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    2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
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