BAP-2014Who needs Jam Tart Wednesday when you can have a slightly cool yet non­ethe­less sat­is­fy­ing BAP, right?

  • Ellie Goulding thinks that we all need a break from her but it’s not as if she’s seven singles deep into the album campaign or anything. (MTV)
  • Lady Gaga is doing a tour of the UK (we told you so etc). (Popjustice)
  • Elsewhere in Lady Gaga world, she has clarified that everything is 100% back on track with ‘ARTPOP’ (ie there’s no hope on the ‘Do What U Want’ video front). (Little Monsters)
  • Kylie’s ‘Mr President’ is appar­ently this two year-old Tommy Trash song (from 4:05). (SoundCloud)
  • She may also be featuring on the new Pharrell album. (Twitter)
  • Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus’ tongue, Madonna and Madonna’s tongue formed a quartet and performed ‘We Can’t Stop’ and ‘Don’t Tell Me’. (Popjustice)
  • In ‘is there really any point?’ news, the lyric video for ‘Cannonball’ by Lea Michele is out today. (Twitter).
  • If you ever lie awake at night wondering what Lorde thinks about the “lecherous gaze” of the media, you will be able to sleep easy tonight. (Digital Spy)
  • The new BANKS song sounds exactly like this song on SoundCloud. (SoundCloud)
  • In more ‘songs that sound like songs on SoundCloud’ news: Dominique Young Unique has a new song on the music streaming platform. (SoundCloud)
  • Kelis is per­form­ing her ‘Food’ album live and would like you to come (in exchange for £158-£311). (Music Glue)
  • William Orbit has taken a break from running the will.i.am fan club to chuck a Madonna remix online. (SoundCloud)
  • Bruno Mars is mod­er­ately excited about the Super Bowl Halftime Show. (Twitter)
  • Chlöe Howl is per­form­ing at Columbia’s ‘Night of New and Emerging Talent’. (Facebook)
  • Clean Bandit are 800 copies in front of will.i.am (feat quite a few people) in the midweeks. Katy B is at five, which is good (all things con­sidered). (Official Charts Company)
  • On the albums front, Ellie Goulding is down to two, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor is still in the Top 5. (Official Charts Company)
  • MKS are per­form­ing at the birthday party for The Shard (no really). (Time Out)
  • One Direction’s ‘Midnight Memories’ video will premiere on Friday. There’s a teaser ‘thing’ too, which features the kebab shop scene. (YouTube)
  • And finally, in further 'popstars in fast food res­taur­ants news', Foxes nearly missed col­lect­ing her Grammy because she was eating a burger. (Digital Spy)

And for old time's sake:

What a song.