Let's definitely not have our photograph taken with the holiday resort tamed monkey of recycled news:
» Pixie Lott is taking part in a 'milk moustache' ad campaign. (PA) Now we're sorry about this readers but we need to bring it up, and it's something that we've always wondered about the milk moustache campaigns: is everybody supposed to be ignoring the fact that it looks a bit like sperm? Or is the fact that it looks a bit like sperm part of some 'extra level'? This must be a consideration for everyone from the milk marketing people to Pixie Lott's management. Surely. Or is that just us?
» In news that could only be more headline-friendly if Cheryl Cole was somehow thrown in along the way, Susan Boyle has announced that she would like to duet with Lady Gaga. (Daily Record)
» CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING WORSE than Richard Ashcroft's pompously-named new project United Nations Of Sound (OH PLEASE) performing LIVE? (Radio 1 Newsbeat)
» A 24 hour hotline manned by psychologists will be available to Britain's Got Talent contestants. (Mirror)
» Nicola Roberts says that the band (Girls Aloud) haven't spoken to Nadine Coyle since last September's Coldplay support slot. (MTV)
» Lady Gaga doesn't have sex. (MTV)
» The new Scouting For Girls album is, apparently, "the summer's pop soundtrack". (Daily Star) *Hibernates*
» And finally, two Chinese singers have been fined under laws banning lip-synching. (BBC)
That's your lot.