SPAIN V NETHERLANDS
Guest referee:
Alexandra Topping — Reporter, The Guardian
Enrique Iglesias feat Descemer Bueno, Gente De Zona — 'Bailando'
“'Bailando' kicks off with great World Cup promise — blokes, joshing, sofa — it could almost be you and your mates in your front room, eating pizza and cracking into a cold one. But of course it isn't. It's Enrique and his 'pals' — read fellow superstars — in a super stylish flat, looking hot, showing off doing the flamenco to the strain of a single jaunty guitar. But then Erinque completely ballses up the vibe: by playing basketball with his brand new footy. Now then Enrique, you can't go jumping on the World Cup band wagon and then PICK UP THE GODDAMN BALL. After that less than promising intro, the spanish guitar kicks in, the clapping starts and we're transported to a land of good times and classic Spanish pop — this is clearly where Enrique belongs, running down the street, basking in the adoration. Cuban reggaetonians Gente de Zona give us a bit of muscle, while their compadre singer and producer Descemer Bueno keeps things smooth. Sadly once again, Enrique, with his inferior ball skills, lets the side down. While the others are giving it 110%, 110% of the time, Enrique is just not giving this song the energy it deserves, with the melody falling a bit short of the promise of the beat. It's like Enrique's taken you to a brilliant club night, with everyone 'getting down on the dancefloor' — but he keeps buying you rum and cokes and trying to stick his tongue in your ear. For all that, the video has amazing Flamenco dancers head to head against an all-female troupe of keepy-uppy cool kids, and if you can just wait until Enrique has to go to the toilet, then you might be able to have a bit of bailando after all.”
Jan Smit and Johnny de Mol — ‘Nederland Wordt Kampieon’
“World Cup songs, as we all know, only need a few key ingredients: a catchy chorus, an upbeat message and/or a rap interlude conducted by a slightly overweight though undeniably talented left winger. What it does not need is a dirge-like tune, sung by a sub-standard popstar and the son of a Dutch media mogul. Sadly, this is what Holland have got. And, if the video is anything to go by — they love it! This music video is jammed packed full of unsuspecting Dutch fans, resplendent in orange and singing along to this half-arsed chorus. Don't do it Dutch people! The Oranje deserve better than this! The horns are mournful, the key changes are beyond manipulative and Jan Smit sounds like a toad gargling on razor blades. Music-loving football fans should give this painful excuse of an world cup song the red card. They're Dutch after all, they're used to it."
Alexandra's full time score:
Spain 3 — Netherlands 0
Now you can vote for your own favourite.
[poll id="16"]Next up: Chile vs Australia
