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Popworldcupjustice: Japan vs Colombia

  • June 24, 2014
  • Brad O'Mance

worldcupthing2header

JAPAN & COLOMBIA

Guest referee: Joe Stone — Freelance journalist

Japan32 Gackt — 'Kimigayo'

"Did you know that England doesn't have an official national anthem? I just went to double check what it was (I had a vague idea it might be 'Candle In The Wind') but it turns out it doesn't exist. I def­in­itely think we should use this oppor­tun­ity to vote for a decent one, because every other country's is rubbish – Japan included. Although at least they have the excuse that theirs is the world's oldest (luckily, it's also the shortest). Still, Gackt has a nice voice and gives an impas­sioned per­form­ance, despite playing to what looks like an empty stadium, which must be a buzz kill (just ask Brandy). I also think it's worth pointing out that this man is forty-years-old, and doesn't look a day over seventeen. Maybe he's a vampire. One point for possibly being a vampire."

Colombia32 Shakira — 'Himno Nacional de la República de Colombia'

"Shakira Shakira gives this her best shot, but it's no 'Whenever Wherever' (let's be honest, it's not even a 'Ojos Así'). Globally, I think we'd all be better off if we could vote for a decent national anthem using our red buttons, with a new song selected every time there's a big national event like when a new prime minister gets elected or when Geri left the Spice Girls. Under my proposed new regime, Columbia could have had Shakira singing 'Hips Don't Lie' and there's not a person alive who wouldn't have preferred watch that than this. Whoever wrote Columbia's original national anthem wouldn't even have got offended because they must be dead by now. Two points for being Shakira."

Joe's full time score:

Japan 01 — Colombia 02

footballbullet

Now you can vote for your own favourite.

[poll id="53"]

Next up: Bosnia and Herzegovina vs Iran and Nigeria vs Argentina

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Popworldcupjustice: Italy vs Uruguay

  • June 24, 2014
  • Brad O'Mance
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Popworldcupjustice: Greece vs Ivory Coast

  • June 24, 2014
  • Brad O'Mance
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    Congratulations to Charli XCX and Lorde: winners of the 2024 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
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    Fine, let's do a Substack then.
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