Popjustice
  • Home
    • Briefing archive
  • Features
  • Playlists
  • Get Popjustice emails
  • About Popjustice
    • About
    • Popjustice: Est 2000
    • The Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • Contact
    • General contact details
    • Submit music
  • Forum
Recent Posts
  • 2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
  • Sarah Harding
  • "You asked me not to leave, well here I am again"
  • The 2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist announced
  • New Music Friday: Georgia Twinn's done a song about a moth
Hello! In theory you should only be seeing this if you're using a mobile or tablet. How's the site looking? If anything's wonky click here and tell us so we can fix it. Thanks! x
Popjustice
  • Briefing
  • Features
  • Playlists
    • New Music Friday: The Popjustice Edit
    • Big Hit Energy
    • 21st Century Pop
    • 2018% Solid Pop Music
    • Full archive
  • About
    • About Popjustice
    • Contacting Popjustice
    • Send music
    • Popjustice: Est 2000
    • The Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • Forum
  • The Briefing

Notes on the fundamentally dishonest new Alphabeat video

  • April 13, 2012
  • Popjustice

"Oh hi everyone we're Alphabeat, we're so friendly and etc."

Really? Really, Alphabeat? THEN WHY DO YOU LIE?

EXHIBIT A

This shot from the 'Vacation' video clearly suggests that Stine is around three times larger than four other band members. We have met the band on numerous occasions and we have seen with our own eyes that Stine is in fact smaller than most of her bandmates. This is nothing to be ashamed of — so why does she lie?

EXHIBIT B

Similarly, this image suggests that there are three Troelses in Alphabeat, two of whom are around five times larger than the third, as well as being mirror images of each other. It may be that on the occasions when we met the band only the 'normal'-sized Troels was in attend­ance, with the freakish giants left locked up at Alphabeat HQ, but we find that extremely unlikely. Despite the fact that there are approx­im­ately 200 Anderses in the band we can con­fid­ently say that Alphabeat do not have three Troelses in their lineup. WHY DO ALPHABEAT LIE?

EXHIBIT C

There are not three Stines the band.

EXHIBIT D

This is just offensive.

WHY DO YOU LIE, ALPHABEAT? WHY DO YOU LIE TO YOUR FANS?

Here's the dis­grace­ful video in full.

Sickening.

 

  • Alphabeat
Previous Article
  • The News

Nicki Minaj's album was going to be an all-rap opus

  • April 13, 2012
  • Mikey
Have a read
Next Article
  • The Briefing

We like when she says "Monroe"

  • April 13, 2012
  • Popjustice
Have a read
Further listening
Greatest hits
  • Lady Gaga interview: "I looked to my past and my faith to find bravery in myself"
  • Calvin Harris interview: "I don’t work on anyone else’s songs any more. I’ve had enough of all that"
  • Sandi Thom's Real Tooting
Further reading
  • 1
    2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
  • 2
    Sarah Harding
  • 3
    "You asked me not to leave, well here I am again"
  • 4
    The 2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist announced
  • 5
    New Music Friday: Georgia Twinn's done a song about a moth
  • 6
    New Music Friday: Julia Michaels has purchased, or hired, a chainsaw
Est 2000. Still going.
Socials

 Spotify
 Facebook
 Twitter
 Instagram
 Soundcloud

'Quick links'

About Popjustice
Contact Popjustice
Sign up for the newsletter 
Submit music
Est 2000
Twenty Quid Music Prize 

Playlists

21st Century Pop 
New Music Friday: The Popjustice Edit 
2018% Solid Pop Music 
The Sound Of Popjustice 
Playlist archive

© 2020 Popjustice Ltd. Scrolled to the bottom now you're here
  • Privacy, Ts & Cs, cookies etc
  • Corrections

Input your search keywords and press Enter.