Here at Popjustice we've always felt that the best way to pass judgement on pop music and the personalities behind it is to stand on the sidelines shouting and pointing with no real understanding of how any of it works but if we did know one end of 'Pro' so-called 'Tools' from another we would probably be dusting off the old CV right now because how's THIS for a job ad: there's a place going as engineer/assistant to Dr Luke.
If you are not familiar with Dr Luke's work, well, you are familiar with it because it's everywhere. (Wiki details here.)
Imagine the job.
Day One: arrive, bang on about how amazing 'Just Want You To Know' by Backstreet Boys was, state that it should have done better than it did. Upload a couple of files to YouSendIt.
Day Two: arrive, ask if there was any hidden meaning in Kelly Clarkson's 'My Life Would Suck Without You', embark on lengthy critique of Ke$ha album, pontificate wildly re the cultural impact of Sugababes' 'About You Now', backup a hard drive.
Day Three: arrive, stand on mixing desk shouting Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend' at top of voice, be sacked.