Song of the week:
Bleachers — 'Don't Take The Money'
If Carly Rae Jepsen was singing this you'd have spunked your own cock off by the first chorus.

Wrong of the week:
Cheat Codes feat Demi Lovato — 'No Promises'
Nobody cared about this song, did they? Nobody bust a gut on this. Nobody worked just a little bit harder to make this song the best it could be. Nobody went the extra mile. Nobody threw everything at this song as if their career depended on it. Emails went back and forward. People who didn't really care told other people that "it would be a good thing to do". Might get good streaming numbers. Might bridge a gap until the next release. Might cross you over a bit. Precisely nothing in this world or in the lives of its 7.1bn inhab­it­ants would be at all different if this song did not exist. In fact it barely does exist. It's pop void. It's a hole: it's there, but it's not there. It's a thing that is nothing.

Additional notes:

  • Let's not panic about the Calvin & Pals pile-up, 'My Way' ended up being a grower didn't it?
  • The v good Goldfrapp album's out today!
  • The also v good Charlotte OC album's out today!!
  • The Jamiroquai album's out today.
  • Voice survivor Leah McFall has released a pretty smart new EP this week — 'Happy Human' is our favourite track.
  • Selena Gomez has decided to It has been decided that Selena Gomez will cover Yazoo's 'Only You'. It's rather pleasant — and even if you're not the world's biggest Gomo fan let's not forget that the last time we heard this song it had James Corden on it, so let's be thankful for small mercies.
  • Becky Hill continues to be amazing.

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