We are sad to report today that tropical house, aka Liltpop, aka the radio playlist-dominating, A&R department annihilating wobbly bobbly sound of the so-called summer, is over.
It was fun while it lasted, and when we say fun we mean briefly enjoyable in small doses.
Why is May 6 the day tropical house came to a halt? Well, there are a few ways a genre can expire, but two key factors are:
1. Elements of the sound have been assimilated into a pop song which takes everything to the logical banging extreme
Today that song is released — it's Dua Lipa's 'Hotter Than Hell'.
It's not a tropical house song but 'Hotter Than Hell' takes the bits of Liltpop it wants, like great pop music always does with other genres, and sticks a rocket up the arse of the whole thing.
So that's that: we don't need to wonder any more what Liltpop would sound like in a monster pop tune, because it's already happened.
2. The sound is whacked underneath the very worst, most lowest-common-denominator cover version imaginable
We joked about this on Twitter the other day…
It’s Tuesday! Somewhere in Europe a 22-yr-old fires up a MacBook and starts work on a tropical house cover for this week’s New Music Friday.
— Peter Robinson (@Popjustice) April 19, 2016
…but another defining moment in the demise of a supposedly credible genre will often come when cover version madness is taken to a terrifying extreme.
If you thought that point came with Jonas Blue's 'Fast Car' cover you were, it turns out, wrong. Because today a person called C-Alvin has released a tropical house abomination that interpolates Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.
Today, May 6, is the day on which a classic pop pincer movement has taken place: we have seen how good tropical house can be and at the same time we've seen just how bad tropical house can be.
Liltpop won't get any better and it won't get any worse. There is no point to any of it any more. This is the end.
Please inform all record labels and radio stations.