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It should make them feel ashamed to be British

  • June 11, 2009
  • Popjustice

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltPxz4PinDA

In a year that has already seen Katy Perry's 'Waking Up In Vegas' in the Top 40, could this new Kid British single still, somehow, be the worst of 2009?

Five Ways In Which Five Would Have Done This Idea Better And Had A Number One With It

1. The sample would have just been the 'groove' bit of the song rather than that AND the whole bloody chorus. See 'If Ya Gettin' Down' or however they spelt it for more information.

2. Abs would have been doing the rap and would have done some brilliant 'wiggy wiggy I'm getting jiggy' stuff. 

3. It wouldn't have included any boring, self-conscious social con­scious­ness of the "ooh this is what it was like growing up in working class Britiain" variety and would instead have been about GROOVING IT down the DISCO.

4. The 'WHOOH WHOOH' but would have been chopped out of the single for being too moronic and shit. 

5. The video would have had Five in it. 

  • Katy Perry
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Oh well.

  • June 11, 2009
  • Popjustice
Have a read
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WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KID

  • June 11, 2009
  • Popjustice
Have a read
Further listening
Greatest hits
  • Kloe interview: "I wanted the video to feel powerful — I don’t want to be a whiny victim"
  • Max Martin interview: "I’ve begun to feel that, well, I kind of know how to write a song now"
  • Lady Gaga interview: "I looked to my past and my faith to find bravery in myself"
Further reading
  • 1
    Congratulations to Charli XCX and Lorde: winners of the 2024 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • 2
    The 2024 Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 3
    The 2023 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 4
    Fine, let's do a Substack then.
  • 5
    The 2022 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist
  • 6
    2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
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