'Cassettes' are like MP3s but they are from the 1980s. If you are a 'cool kid' you will know that mixtapes are cassettes which
you give to people you are friends with. These days you can make them online. Or you could buy a cassette which isn't a cassette. So in spite of some people thinking cassettes are not cool (because they are from the 1980s) they are in fact cool in a knowingly cool sort of way. You sort of have to embrace the uncoolness and then the coolness makes sense.
WHAT HAS ANY OF THIS GOT TO DO WITH ALPHABEAT??!!