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ANY OLD SHIT? THE COMPILATION WAGON'S GOING PAST! BRING OUT YOUR SHIT!

  • December 15, 2011
  • Popjustice

Bloody hell readers, take a look at this com­pil­a­tion album track­list­ing.

This is an actual album that has actually been released by an actual record label.

What, you might be wondering, could possibly link this broadly mediocre selection of tunes? And why would someone look at this list of songs and think, 'OH AT LAST JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP HOPE HERE IS THE ALBUM TRACKLISTING I HAVE BEEN WANTING ALL MY LIFE, HOW DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR YAZZ AND THE LIGHTHOUSE FAMILY TO BE ON THE SAME ALBUM AS THE NOISETTES'?

Well think about it — you can move around while all all those songs are playing!

That is why the com­pil­a­tion they are on is called 'Get Fit'. "The music sequen­cing," blurbs the blurb, "ensures a steady pace of training, quick­en­ing as it pro­gresses, and then finishing with a wind down period at the end. Inside, an inform­at­ive fold out poster booklet gives you useful training tips!"

Someone also decided that chucking a load of rubbish even iTunes Genius wouldn't put into a 'workout mix' with a view to flogging a few albums to fools in January was not enough of an oppor­tun­istic old rope moment.

So — and if you are easily offended by stock pho­to­graphy look away now — it is "in asso­ci­ation with London 2012".

The thing is, some people are going to see this and think, 'oh that looks good'. And then they will buy it. Do you know one of these people? Are you perhaps related to one of them? Do not give them a Christmas present this year. They have been very, very naughty.

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A Newsdump for 15 December 2011: From Emeli Sand

  • December 15, 2011
  • Popjustice
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Britney's fans are really good at filling out online poll forms

  • December 16, 2011
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Further reading
  • 1
    New Music Monday: Griff's Black Hole is super, and massive
  • 2
    New Music Friday: Let's kick off 2021 with some KLF
  • 3
    The Top 45 Singles Of 2020
  • 4
    New Music Friday: Mae Muller doesn't want to be dependent
  • 5
    New Music Friday: There's a big one from Royal & The Serpent
  • 6
    New Music Friday: Baby Queen takes the throne
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