A week ago we speculated that Roisin Murphy could — conceivably — have smashed her pretty face up onstage on purpose in order to create some sort of 'viral' thing on YouTube.
A few days later we heard that Roisin wanted a word with us.
Here is what happened…
How are you feeling?
Oh, I’m alright.
Are you at home with something on your face?
Yes. My mum’s come over to look after me which is a bit
distressing because she’s cleaning my house in sexy underwear. It got hot so she
stripped off. Recently they’ve opened a TK Maxx near our house so she’s gone
and bought underwear. So I’ve got that going on in my house.
TX Maxx is very useful for pots, pans and luggage, we find
Yes. Now I believe you have some questions for me.
Yes. Did you smash your face up on purpose?
But I probably will die on stage given the amount of
accidents I bloody have there. Although if you print that I’ll never get
insurance again! I fell in Australia and broke my arm but didn’t realise I’d
broken it until I went off stage, and I fell of a promotional beach ball at a
festival in Ireland. It was dark. But I saw blood this time so I thought it was
best to leave the stage.
Did you realise how serious it was when it happened?
I lay down and continued the gig lying down. I elevated my
foot. My mother said that I was always the same – I never fell down stairs, I
always fell up them*.
Does it still hurt?
It’s not too bad now, the swelling’s gone down.
Did you hear a crunching noise when it happened?
No. Don’t be so horrible!
We're just gathering the details Roisin. So then you went to
Yeah, we went to Moscow A&E** which was, er,
interesting. It was very quiet. It was Saturday night and there was nobody
there. I couldn’t understand it. There was just one person in a room coughing
loudly, which sounded like the cough of Hell. Then they sent me to the American
hospital and the man there said ‘look, you’re probably better off going home
and getting a proper plastic surgeon to stitch up the hole in your eyebrow’. It’s
not a good look.
Maybe it would be a good image for the next album campaign?
Oh it’s going to be so camp, isn’t it, when I go back on
stage with a big injury? There won’t be a dry eye in the house. Can I just say
that I’m absolutely mortified that my fans bought tickets for shows which have
been cancelled. It’s the worst thing for an act like me, to have to cancel a
show. I’m just devastated.
Your fans are an understanding lot. What’s the next
single going to be?
Not sure yet. What do you think?
A bit of 'Movie Star'?
Well, I think we're going for the one which is mostly loved by people…
…which is ‘You Know Me Better’.
Hm… Anyway, get well soon!
Thank you! Bye!
* We don’t know what this phrase means but Keeley in our
office says that Roisin's mum is "probably confusing it with that thing about
** This is like casualty but in American but in Moscow