South-east London entertainment marquee The O2 has been a‑teasing today, suggesting that it will soon be opening its flaps for Cher. Here's how Popjustice marked the announcement on Twitter:
Would pay £60 + booking fee just to see Cher performing Believe (encore: Believe) https://t.co/YK0N0k6HLd
— Peter Robinson (@Popjustice) December 10, 2018
At face value, the idea of paying sixty quid (plus booking fee) just to see Cher perform Believe twice is ridiculous, but hold on a minute. We have skewed ideas of value for money when it comes to live music. Maybe it's time for a rethink.
To be clear, the proposed Cher concert running order would go like this:
19:30 Doors
20:00 Support act
21:00 Cher
21:15 Everybody out
Given that the support act would probably be on stage for around forty minutes, that would leave three quarters of an hour for punters to visit the merch stand, which would consist entirely of Believe-themed merch. Amazing.
But that's not the best part of this.
Ticket prices would be the same as for a regular arena show, but the production budget would only need to cover two songs. There would be certain fixed costs like the stage setup, but beyond that you're looking at an entire concert's worth of pyrotechnics, wires, flying stages, inflatables, wigs and glitter canons being deployed in the space of around ten minutes. Madness. Chaos. Euphoria. Total popsensory overload.
So that's your choice: the greatest ten minutes of your life, or a pretty enjoyable hour and a half? As you now surely agree, One Song Twice Everybody Out is the way forward for concert-going.
