JLS singing "we're the bad boys always catching your eye" — it's 'Bad Boys' but different, sung by JLS.

JLS THEN singing "we're the ones to make it beat again" — it's 'Bad Boys' but with 'Beat Again' inside it. The whole thing is a jamboree of inter­tex­tu­al­ity.

Marvin accom­pa­ny­ing "your eye" by pointing at the audience then his actual eye.

The bits where it looks like JLS and Alexandra are a proper mixed-sex band of the variety popular in the late-1990s.

The arm-foldy wobbly-around dance move thing.


The bit at one minute twenty five when the dancers start skipping on and you think "HANG ON THERE ARE GOING TO BE A MILLION DANCERS ON THE STAGE AND IT WILL BE LITERALLY ABOVE AVERAGE".

The bit where there are a million dancers on the stage and it is literally above average.

Interesting Marvin pantaloon action.

Oritse yelling "HERE WE GO".

The breakdown bit.

The fact that it's a medley. A MEDLEY!

The amazing bit where Alexandra delib­er­ately forgets to mime the last line of her own song.

"Put your hands up" being accom­pan­ied by hands being 'put up'.

The con­spicu­ous absence of that other key player in the three-legged stool of the 2008 X Factor final: Eoghan Quigg.

The entire thing being flanked by two amazing Christmas trees.

The final, delib­er­ately pathetic 'pft' of six cut-price fireworks, a conscious reference to the fact that the only pyro­tech­nic display capable of reflect­ing the lifechan­ging immense­ness of this light enter­tain­ment monolith would be THE ENTIRE STAGE BEING BLOWN UP KILLING EVERYONE ON IT.