One thing we all learned in 2016 was that democracy is a valuable, powerful institution as long as votes go the way you want.
With that in mind brace yourself for the results of the 2016 Popjustice Readers' Poll, which represents the crunching of numbers relating to over 2000 completed forms.
Here we go…
Best single
1. Ariana Grande — 'Into You'
2. Beyoncé — 'Formation'
3. Dua Lipa — 'Hotter Than Hell'
4. Sia feat Sean Paul — 'Cheap Thrills'
5. Fifth Harmony — 'Work From Home'
6. The 1975 — 'Somebody Else'
7. Lady Gaga — 'Million Reasons'
8. Little Mix — 'Shout Out To My Ex'
9. Rihanna — 'Kiss It Better'
10. Zayn — 'Pillowtalk'
Notes: Can we talk now about the 'Into You' outro? CHRIST ALIVE! This is a space where most songs would just chuck in a final regular chorus — with 'Into You' you get the chorus taken apart and reassembled right before your eyes.
Best album
1. Beyoncé — 'Lemonade'
2. Rihanna — 'Anti'
3. Lady Gaga — 'Joanne'
4. Britney Spears — 'Glory'
5. Shura — 'Nothing's Real'
6. Sia — 'This Is Acting'
7. Tove Lo — 'Ladywood'
8. Zayn — 'Mind Of Mine'
9. The 1975 — 'I Like It When You Etc'
10. Little Mix — 'Glory Days'
Notes: Finally some recognition for underappreciated pop singer Beyoncé. Watch out for this promising talent in 2017 — something tells us she's going to do pretty well!
Worst single
1. Calum Scott — 'Dancing On My Own'
2. Justin Timberlake — 'Can't Stop The Feeling!'
3. Lady Gaga — 'Perfect Illusion'
4. Lukas Graham — '7 Years'
5. Chainsmokers — 'Closer'
6. Meghan Trainor — 'Me Too'
7. James Arthur — 'Say You Won't Let Go'
8. Drake — 'One Dance'
9. Shawn Mendes — 'Treat You Better'
10. Bruno Mars — '24K Magic'
Notes: It's heartening here to see Justin Timberlake's half-arsed Trolls tune getting some attention. It's quite an achievement, isn't it: a song about fun that sounds like not one person had any fun at all during its creation.
Worst album
1. Meghan Trainor — 'Thank You'
2. Charlie Puth — 'Nine Track Mind'
3. Britney Spears — 'Glory'
4. Lady Gaga — 'Joanne'
5. Tove Lo — 'Ladywood'
6. Zayn — 'Mind Of Mine'
7. Drake — 'Views'
8. James Arthur — 'Back From The Edge'
9. Beyoncé — 'Lemonade'
10. Fifth Harmony — '7/27'
Notes: In years gone by this poll's Worst Album category was a little strange — back when you generally had to pay to hear an album, or at least make the effort to illegally download it, votes would either be for artists people just didn't like (and whose albums they hadn't actually heard), or for disappointing albums by artists people DID like. A disappointing album's a bit different from a bad album, isn't it? Anyway thanks to the streaming era it really is now possible for all of us to get a measure of an album at a cost of £0.00 (roughly $0.00), meaning that this year's Worst Album category is probably the most accurate to date. Gaga's inclusion is likely something to do with the 'disappointing' factor and James Arthur's mainly there because people don't like him, but it's hard to argue with Meghan Trainor's position.
Best video
1. Beyoncé — 'Formation'
2. Beyoncé — 'Hold Up'
3. Britney Spears feat Tinashe — 'Slumber Party'
4. Beyoncé — 'Sorry'
5. Fifth Harmony — 'Work From Home'
6. Shura — 'What's It Gonna Be?'
7. Sia — 'The Greatest'
8. Charli XCX — 'After The Afterparty'
9. Petite Meller — 'The Flute'
10. Solange — 'Cranes In The Sky'
Notes: There are some extreme health and safety violations in a number of these videos and we'd like to see this slapdash approach tightened up in 2017. If we accept that popstars are role models then we can't just have them standing on cars or wandering around building sites holding hammers like big cocks.
Worst video
1. Britney Spears — 'Make Me'
2. Meghan Trainor — 'Me Too'
3. Taylor Swift — 'New Romantics'
4. Lady Gaga — 'Perfect Illusion'
5. Ariana Grande — 'Into You'
6. Fifth Harmony — 'That's My Girl'
7. Justin Timberlake — 'Can't Stop The Feeling!'
8. Meghan Trainor — 'No'
9. Ariana Grande — 'Dangerous Woman'
10. Zayn — 'Pillowtalk'
Notes: A few on the list are here simply because they don't do justice to excellent tunes but as for the rest, it's interesting to imagine three things. First, imagine the original treatment, and imagine how bad the others must have been. Second, imagine how much these videos cost. Third, just think how many people saw the treatments, were present at the shoots, gave feedback on various edits and then finally approved these videos. Absolutely incredible.
Most absurd use of major label cash
1. Charlie Puth
2. Nathan Sykes
3. Frank Ocean's carpentry masterclass
4. Meghan Trainor
5. Britney's scrapped 'Make Me' video
6. Lady Gaga's 'Dive Bar tour'
7. Tropical house
8. Rag'n'Bone Man
9. Anti release strategy
10. M.O
Notes: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PUTH.
Act most likely to share the fact that they've won this category with a large number of followers
1. Years & Years
2. Little Mix
3. Demi Lovato
4. Lady Gaga
5. Charli XCX
6. Jessie J
7. The 1975
8. Zara Larsson
9. Nathan Sykes
10. Dua Lipa
Notes: It's a shame Little Mix didn't win because that would have probably got a bit more "social" "traction".
Major artist with disappointing music most at odds with ability to achieve better
1. Lady Gaga
2. Little Mix
3. Tove Lo
4. Rihanna
5. Mollie King
6. Zara Larsson
7. Justin Timberlake
8. Britney Spears
9. Gwen Stefani
10. Charli XCX
Notes: Some harsh truths dotted around in this list BUT HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT 'JOANNE' IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD??
Artist most likely to have voted for Brexit
1. Gary Barlow
2. Liam Payne
3. Sam Smith
4. Kate Bush
5. James Arthur
6. Taylor Swift
7. Kanye West
8. Geri Halliwell
9. Calum Scott
10. Olly Murs
Notes: We bet Barlow did bloody vote Leave too, which is ironic considering his intimate knowledge of the destruction, misery and years of rebuilding that tend to follow one party's abrupt departure from a perfectly functional group.
Disaster of the year
1. Calum Scott
2. Sam Smith's Oscars moment
3. 'Joanne'
4. Streaming fucking up the charts
5. The Chainsmokers
6. James Arthur's return
7. Tropical house
8. The X Factor
9. Fergie
10. Neil leaving Clean Bandit (?!)
Notes: A susprisingly low placing here for Tropical House. It's almost as if people actually quite like it and don't see what all the moaning is about.
Triumph of the year
1. 'Lemonade'
2. Beyoncébowl
3. Aspects of Ariana Grande
4. Assorted references to 'Lush Life''s continued success
5. Britney's 'return to form'
6. Adele at Glastonbury
7. Various references to Justin Bieber's penis
8. Little Mix knocking off James Arthur
9. Sia's first US Number One
10. Pet Shop Boys at Royal Opera House
Notes: No votes in this category for Cruz Beckham's Christmas single.
Comeback of the year
1. Craig David
2. Britney
3. All Saints
4. Busted
5. JoJo
6. Melanie C
7. Rihanna
8. Sean Paul
9. Rick Astley
10. James Arthur
Notes: We had lunch with Craig David over the summer. Went to quite a nice restaurant and were worried he'd be all like "ooh only a glass of water and a bit of lettuce for me please", as he's all muscular now isn't he? But he just kept ordering food. Plates and plates of food. There, it's fair to say, is a man who's loving life. Most of the best popstars are ones who've stared The Dumper full on in the face at some point in their career. Well, they give the best interviews anyway. And probably eat bigger lunches.
Best new act to properly get going in 2016
1. Dua Lipa
2. Shura
3. Zara Larsson
4. Christine & The Queens
5. Anne-Marie
6. Dagny
7. Alessia Cara
8. MØ
9. DNCE
10. Petite Meller
Notes: Dua Lipa started the year on the BBC Sound poll longlist; she ended it on the Brits Critics' Choice shortlist. 'One in the eye' for anyone who says pop music's slowing down. Look at it go! WHOOOSH — careers exploding at the speed of light.
Most ridiculous recording artist
1. Meghan Trainor
2. Lady Gaga
3. Robbie Williams
4. Kanye West
5. Cruz Beckham
6. The Chainsmokers
7. Mariah Carey
8. Honey G
9. Sean Paul
10. Halsey
Notes: FINALLY some recognition for Cruz Beckham.
Best radio station
1. Radio 1
2. 'Spotify'
3. Capital
4. 'None of them'
5. Kiss
6. Beats 1
7. Heat
8. Z100
9. Radio 2
10. Heart
Notes: It's probably fair to say this Top 10 represents something of a 'watershed moment'.
Best DJ (on the radio)
1. Annie Mac
2. Clara Amfo
3. Greg James
4. Nick Grimshaw
5. Scott Mills
6. Charli XCX
7. Marvin Humes
8. Emma Bunton
9. Lauren Laverne
10. Pete Allison
Notes: (Charli XCX counts because she has a show on Beats 1.)
Best TV show with music as some sort of central focus
1. Empire
2. Eurovision
3. 'None of them' / 'Are there any' / etc
4. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
5. Songs Of Praise
6. Nashville
7. The Voice
8. The X Factor
9. RuPaul's Drag Race
10. The Get Down
Notes: Another great year for The X Factor.
Best cover version
1. Rihanna — 'Same Ol' Mistakes'
2. Little Mix — 'Ugly Heart'
3. Lorde — 'Life On Mars'
4. Betty Who — 'I Love You Always Forever'
5. Craig David — 'Love Yourself'
6. Christine & The Queens — 'Sorry'
7. Laura Mvula — 'Ready Or Not'
8. Say Lou Lou — 'Stayin' Alive'
9. Vérité — 'Somebody Else'
10. MNEK — 'Don't Stop Me Now'
Notes: So many votes for Little Mix's 'cover' in this category.
Worst cover version
1. Calum Scott — 'Dancing On My Own'
2. Jonas Blue feat Dakota — 'Fast Car'
3. David Guetta — 'Would I Lie To You?'
4. Little Mix — 'Ugly Heart'
5. Betty Who — 'I Love You Always Forever'
6. 'Anything tropical'
7. Assorted Conor Maynard covers
8. Emily Middlemas — 'Toxic'
9. Kings Of Leon — 'Hands To Myself'
10. Jessie J — 'Can't Take My Eyes Off You'
Notes: And there are Little Mix again.
Best streaming service
1. Spotify
2. YouTube
3. SoundCloud
4. Apple Music
5. Deezer
6. 'None' / 'I don't bother with them' / etc
7. Bandcamp
8. Tidal
9. Amazon
10. 'Microsoft Groove Music' (‽)
Notes: 2017 will almost certainly be Tidal's year.
Newish act most likely to save pop in 2017
1. Dua Lipa
2. Muna
3. Maggie Rogers
4. Raye
5. Anne-Marie
6. Saara Aalto
7. Dagny
8. Allie X
9. Tkay Maidza
10. Astrid S
Notes: At first glance you look at this Top 10 and you think, "hm, not many men here". And then you remember Rag'n'Bone Man and you think, "alright, fair play".
Established act most likely to return and save pop in 2017
1. Lorde
2. Katy Perry
3. Charli XCX
4. Robyn
5. Sky Ferreira
6. Marina & The Diamonds
7. Years & Years
8. Taylor Swift
9. Harry Styles
10. Lana Del Rey
Notes: CORRECT CORRECT CORRECT CORRECT CORRECT CORRECT CORRECT maybe CORRECT CORRECT.
Least controversial popstar
1. Carly Rae Jepsen
2. Kylie Minogue
3. Adele
4. Ellie Goulding
5. Jess Glynne
6. Emeli Sandé
7. Niall Horan
8. Birdy
9. Louisa Johnson
10. Shawn Mendes
Notes: If you think Jeppo lacks controversy we suggest you examine photographs of her hair at Brighton Pride.
Best use of social media by popstar or pop-related entity
1. Zara Larsson
2. Katy Perry
3. Cher
4. Britney Spears (with most voters making specific reference to Instagram)
5. Olly Alexander
6. Lily Allen
7. Clare Maguire
8. James Blunt
9. The 1975
10. Rihanna
Notes: In summary, it generally helps if you have something to say and the ability to say it.
Songmaking writer/producer/collective of the year
1. Justin Tranter and Julia Michaels
2. Max Martin
3. Mark Ronson
4. Bloodpop
5. Greg Kurstin
6. Dev Hynes
7. MNEK
8. Savan Kotecha
9. Sia
10. Sophie
Notes: Wait until you hear Julia Michaels' first single 'Issues'. It's coming quite soon and it's 'quite the toe-tapper'.
Most annoying online fanbase
1. 'All of them'
2. Beliebers
3. Harmonizers
4. Britney Army
5. Directioners
6. Beyhive
7. Monsters
8. Madonna fans
9. Swifties
10. Mixers
Notes: Another year, another opportunity to marvel at the fact that Madonna hasn't named her fanbase, while the fanbase hasn't even named itself. That seems to indicate restraint and respect from both sides, in a way, doesn't it?
Had it, lost it in 2016
1. Lady Gaga
2. Robbie Williams
3. Gwen Stefani
4. Taylor Swift
5. Kanye West
6. Emeli Sandé
7. Calvin Harris
8. Little Mix
9. Rihanna
10. Frank Ocean
Notes: Say what you like about Robbie's album (at least that way there'd be some sort of recognition that it had actually been released), but we need more popstars who can chuck "'ave it like an oligarch" into their songs.
Didn’t have it, found it in 2016
1. The 1975
2. Ariana Grande
3. Lady Gaga
4. Zayn
5. The Chainsmokers
6. Fifth Harmony
7. Clean Bandit
8. Britney Spears
9. Childish Gambino
10. Clare Maguire
Notes: This had to be The 1975 didn't it?
Popstar with whom you would most like to tenderly make love as part of a rewarding relationship
1. Nick Jonas
2. Rihanna
3. Zayn
4. Olly Alexander
5. Marina & The Diamonds
6. Shawn Mendes
7. Dua Lipa
8. Calvin Harris
9. Harry Styles
10. Beyoncé
Notes: The thing with Shawn Mendes though, surely, is that there's every danger he'd keep an acoustic guitar near the bed.
Most deluded artist
1. Justin Bieber
2. Lady Gaga
3. Meghan Trainor
4. Taylor Swift
5. Halsey
6. Kanye West
7. The Chainsmokers
8. Demi Lovato
9. Azealia Banks
10. Drake
Notes: Be real for a minute — if you had hair as good as Justin Bieber's, you'd probably be pretty pleased with yourself too.
Least deluded artist
1. Adele
2. Carly Rae Jepsen
3. Rihanna
4. Kelly Clarkson
5. JoJo
6. Sia
7. Olly Alexander
8. Lorde
9. Zara Larsson
10. Charli XCX
Notes: Relatability is a funny thing, isn't it? Supposedly relatable artists are all vastly more talented, or stylish, or funny, or attractive, or clever than we are. And yet we say "oh look at Adele, with her brilliant voice and her songwriting talent and her sense of humour and her effortless charisma — she's just like us". JUST LIKE WHO? WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHO RELATE TO ADELE ON THOSE TERMS?
Act we should send to Eurovision in 2017
1. Little Mix
2. Clean Bandit
3. GEM
4. Mollie King
5. Charli XCX
6. Fleur East
7. Dua Lipa
8. Louisa Johnson
9. Honey G
10. Saraa Aalto
Notes: If you boil this 'vote broth' down to the sludge of acts who'd actually say yes to doing it, we're looking at GEM in first place followed by Mollie, probably Fleur then Louisa Johnson. GEM would be quite funny, but at the same time very sad. It might well be for the best if we just decide to give it all a miss this year.
Worst partnership between brand and pop act
1. Samsung / Rihanna
2. Apple / Taylor Swift
3. EE / Britney
4. Adidas / Rita Ora
5. Orange Theory Fitness / Britney
6. Cornetto / Little Mix
7. Bud Light / Lady Gaga
8. Pantene / Ellie Goulding
9. McDonald's / Little Mix
10. Müller / Nicole Scherzinger
Notes: Sadly voting had closed by the time Paris Hilton announced her partnership with Lidl. Related: imagine if 2017 throws up a song as good as 'Stars Are Blind'. IMAGINE.
Group most likely to split or 'take a year off' in 2017
1. Fifth Harmony
2. Clean Bandit
3. GEM
4. Busted
5. The Vamps
6. Coldplay
7. All Saints
8. M.O
9. GRL
10. 5 Seconds Of Summer
Notes: Most of these votes came in before the band when completely tits up in the final weeks of 2016. What does the future hold for Fifth Harmony? We're saying The Departed Member releases an album no better — but no worse — than Nicole Scherzinger's eventual debut; it will contain one song far better than anything Fifth Harmony have ever released, but three songs far worse than anything Firth Harmony have ever released. As for The Remaining Four, there'll be a brand new song in the spring to show everyone they're still a strong, united, tight unit, prior to another member leaving in June.
Social Media Arsehole Of The Year
1. Donald Trump
2. Azealia Banks
3. Justin Bieber
4. Piers Morgan
5. The Chainsmokers
6. Taylor Swift
7. Kanye West
8. Nigel Farage
9. Steve Brookstein
10. 'Everyone'
Notes: We were thinking of taking out the non-pop ones but then we thought: actually let's just keep them in.
Total bellend of the year
1. Donald Trump
2. Honey G
3. Justin Bieber
4. Azealia Banks
5. Dr Luke
6. Taylor Swift
7. Kanye West
8. Calum Scott
9. Nigel Farage
10. Sam Smith
Notes: Well at least it's good news for James Arthur.
Total hero of the year
1. Beyoncé
2. Carly Rae Jepsen
3. Karen Kwak
4. Zara Larsson
5. Lady Gaga
6. Madonna
7. Rihanna
8. Olly Alexander
9. Craig David
10. Ariana Grande
Notes: Good showing here for Karen Kwak, the A&R exec responsible for the Britney album being significantly better than a Britney album had any right to be in 2016, and far better than anybody else connected with the project would have bothered making it.
And that brings it to a close. Thanks everyone for voting — we'll see you in 2017!
