Yes, we know it's not polite to dwell on awfulness but know your enemy and all that. Here are 2010's ten worst pop singles…
But when it came to selling shit pop music — and don't forget this was Price's second attempt at chart stardom — she found that nobody was interested. It's a popular misconception, and one frequently held by vile opportunists like Katie Price, that low quality, no-redeeming-features pop is easy to palm off on music fans. They look at the charts and they think, "people will buy anything". And people do, indeed, purchase some awful tunes. But they do not just buy anything. Specifically, they do not buy shit like this.
True to form, as soon as Price noticed during the week of release that the single was flopping, she distanced herself from the song, admitting she couldn't sing. That's how people like Price get ahead in life: if it's not going well, ditch it. Whether it's a pop single or a human being, just trash it and move on. Trample everything.
Travie McCoy feat Bruno Mars
And so 2010's most obscenely patronising pop tune was born: a song, released during the worst recession for 100 years, in which a mere million dollars is deemed not quite enough to be getting on with.
Thanks for that, Travie 'Man Of The People' McCoy. Thanks a fucking lot.
As such, it marked the miserable and squalid end for one of British pop's best girlbands. Depressing stuff.
Daisy Dares You
To be clear, 'Rosie' song was not good. In fact it was the opposite of good. It was very, very bad.
"Throw in a shouting tramp?"
We recently asked Popjustice's Twitter followers to pick their least favourite line from this song's lyrics — there was no clear winner because ever word is awful but particular favourites included "drinking our cheap bottles of wine", "she's in line at the dole with her head held high", "I'm drinking Jack all alone in my local bar" and "is it God's test?".
A musical disaster.
Scouting For Girls
Perhaps it's an achievement in the same way that to have murdered someone is, arguably, an achievement, and 'Famous' — the sound of Scouting For Girls deciding TEN YEARS AFTER EVERYONE ELSE to write a song about how some stuff happens on TV and ooh isn't it bad or something — should carry a similar penalty.
Life in prison for Roy and the other two, please.
Cage Against The Machine
How wrong. How sadly, awfully, dangerously wrong.
The hatbothering tit's second single, seemingly aimed at the lucrative gap year market, was trustafarian twatmagnet 'Thinking Of Me'. If you have not seen the video — in which Olly Murs behaves like an utter bellend for three and a half minutes — now is the time to embrace this song's heroic badness. Harrowing though it may seem, to endure the video would be an investment for the future because only by accepting this tune and video into your life can you begin to overcome and eventually conquer its badness.
While you are watching the video, you will see a scene in which Olly dances around on top of a bollard. It is a poignant scene. If someone — anyone — on that video shoot had greased the top of that bollard, Murs could have slipped and torn his cock and balls clean off this body, thus protecting the world from any chance of this awful, awful man ever fathering children. But nobody did grease the bollard, and the nightmare may continue for many generations to come.
Food for thought there, readers. Food for thought.