Jedward would like to win Eurovision

Happy Edzerbaijohn Day, everyone, for tonight is the night Jedward perform in the first semi-final of Eurovision, setting them on their way to a glorious second place finish in the final.

To celebrate, the two-headed pop­mon­ster undertook an interview with Muzu.tv. To be honest it looks way too long for anyone to watch in full without their brains almost com­pletely melting away, but thank­fully gossip grotto DigitalSpy have selected some of the 'choice quotes' from what is, pre­sum­ably, 10 minutes of utter nonsense.

"This year me and John are going to top our personal best of eighth place and hopefully we'll win and become Number One," affirmed Edward.

However, "it's not all about winning… it's about making a huge impact." Noted philo­sopher Edward explains this thus: "If you're shocked by thunder, it doesn't mean you're going to die, but you're going to remember it."

Jedward will perform their entry, 'Waterline', 18th in the show, which starts at 8pm UK time. Other high­lights will include the Russian granny sixpiece, and San Marino's heartfelt ode to the internet, 'The Social Network Song (Uh Oh, Uh Oh)'.