Ed Sheeran has promised that his Brits per­form­ance will be low on excite­ment but high on 'authen­ti­city'.

The showman told Star Playlist: "My per­form­ance will be a standard ‘me’ per­form­ance, just standing there with a guitar."

The enfant rubbishe of the New Boring movement is not a fan of anything more razzmatazz than that, saying: "I remember seeing Eminem with his chainsaw and thinking that was a bit out there."

Jesus.