Congratulations to Little Mix! A combination of 'Touch', sixty judges and a large amount of booze means that the band's prize of twenty quid (cash) will be on its way to Kensington High Street later today.
How did it all happen?
WELL. Last night in a London pub this year's twelve shortlisted songs…
…went head to head. In most rounds two songs were picked at random, their relative merits were 'debated', it then went to a vote and, finally, the losing song went out. We do this at every year's Twenty Quid judging — it's unfair, unpredictable and basically very funny.
HERE WE GO #twentyquid pic.twitter.com/zlpCDNGMGR
— Laura Snapes (@laurasnapes) September 14, 2017
Judges had each received a special (not very special) judging pack.
Each table of judges was also named after a former Twenty Quid winner, which was supposed to be a significant element in terms of how one of the rounds would work, but we forgot to do that in the end.
Also, for the first time, each shortlisted song was represented in real life by a t‑shirt-wearing judge whose job it was to speak up when needed.
guess tonight i'll be repping @DannylHarle at the #twentyquid tonight pic.twitter.com/86Q0jQX7JL
— kāŷ (@espace_femme) September 14, 2017
Taking one for the team or a tangible visual of my self loathing? #twentyquid pic.twitter.com/yezYdziPlq
— Kyra (@bossmew) September 14, 2017
The first step was for the judges to vote for the last year's worst British pop single (a good way to provide context for the rest of the night) and, as is traditional at the Twenty Quid prize night, to boot off one shortlisted song without any debate or discussion.
Let's just say it wasn't a great start for Ed Sheeran.
The #TwentyQuid judges have just named Galway Girl worst British single and kicked Shape Of You off the shortlist
— Peter Robinson (@Popjustice) September 14, 2017
Moving on, in last night's second round the randomly selected pair of songs presented a very early upset.
Touch versus Rockabye. This is going to get heated #twentyquid
— Charlie Hoole 🍍 (@charliehoole) September 14, 2017
(Earlier this week, each of the judges submitted their favourite song in a secret email poll — in that poll both 'Touch' and 'Rockabye' were really popular choices, so there was a lot of shouting when it turned out one of them would go out early.)
As the evening continued we discussed pop from almost every angle…
…although some criteria seemed more valid than others.
Someone said they look for "fistability" in a pop song. Same #TwentyQuid
— wann (@neversquare) September 14, 2017
To organise our thoughts, pros and cons were listed on massive sheets of high quality foam board.
During the course of the evening, judges also found a winner for the inaugural Carly Rae Jepsen International Pop Single Of The Year award, the year's best non-British pop single. Judges were asked to choose one of the three most popular songs from an earlier open poll.
Non-British Pop Single nominees:
• @lorde — Green Light
• @whereisMUNA — I Know a Place
• @carlyraejepsen — Cut to the Feeling#twentyquid
— Rory (@rorhor) September 14, 2017
The Carly Rae Jepsen International Pop Single Of The Year award went to Lorde's 'Green Light'.
Carly Rae Jepsen not winning a prize named after her is the most Carly Rae Jepsen thing to ever happen #TwentyQuid ❤️
— Alice Beverton-Palmer (@alice) September 14, 2017
At one point, the room was split into three sections using hazard tape due to a poorly-thought-through 'mechanic'.
I cannot explain #twentyquid pic.twitter.com/FVzuTWGbk4
— Nick Walker (@nickw84) September 14, 2017
There was also a moment when one portion of the room decided to stage a coup and campaign for the last-minute inclusion of Dua Lipa's 'New Rules', which let's face it should have been on the shortlist but there we go.
Controversy where Niall Vs Disciples is interrupted by a desire for a "write in" for Dualipa. #twentyquid pic.twitter.com/IMxVBClLyd
— Matt Deegan (@matt) September 14, 2017
This whole debacle was overruled because the Twenty Quid Music Prize is no place for anarchy. The good news is that Dua Lipa is a talented artist with a long career, and plenty of future Twenty Quid nominations, ahead of her.
One by one songs fell away from the shortlist, leading to an extremely lively three chair challenge segment best described, in the cold light of day, as total carnage. But it brought us to the final vote.
The end is nigh! Steps vs Little Mix. Results incoming.… #TwentyQuid pic.twitter.com/JU0bh8PJwm
— Neil Claxton (@MintRoyale) September 14, 2017
Let's see how this goes… #twentyquid pic.twitter.com/5ZUuSWahQl
— Rory (@rorhor) September 14, 2017
Little Mix won by a significant margin, loads of confetti cannons went off, some people cheered, and the evening came to an end. It was a good result for Little Mix, of course, but most people seemed to agree that second place for Steps was, in 2017, something of a victory in itself.
WHAT A SONG to come in second place to! Well done @LittleMix and thanks to those cheering on #ScaredOfTheDark 💃 #20QuidMusicPrize
— Steps (@OfficialSteps) September 15, 2017
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH to all the judges who came along last night and made the event such a brilliant shambles, and well done to Little Mix. But also well done to everyone who was on the shortlist — even Ed Sheeran — because they all made great singles. And great singles is what pop's all about, really, isn't it?
Just spent the last four hours violently defending little mix and steps in pub, honestly a 10/10 night #TwentyQuid pic.twitter.com/DCft0iKHTl
— abigail (@abigailffirth) September 14, 2017