Prepare yourselves for 'Aloha!' by Splash, which arrived in an email from a friend two days ago. "I SWEAR I have nothing to do with it," our friend noted. "Even I couldn't stoop this low." Take it from us, this par­tic­u­lar person has stooped pretty low in his time.

For the full exper­i­ence click here. We started writing an 'amusing' decon­struc­tion of the write-up on their MySpace — including what might well be the most dis­gust­ingly unpleas­ant jokes we have ever typed — but it all seemed a bit fish-in-barrel, so basically when you need to take away from all this is that this song is phe­nom­en­ally shit and, as the summer approaches, acts as a great reminder of just how joyless and fun-free these 'happy' summer songs can often be.