9:16am: Readers, what does this inkblot test say to you?
Answer at 10am although it's fairly bloody obvious innit.
10:00am: Well, readers, thank you for your guesses.
"It looks to me like an artist's impression of Britney's favourite sexual position."
"The inkblot test isn't saying anything to me, I think I'm in coventry. I don't even know what I've done! :(" (?!)
"Is it an ancient Egyptian arch?"
"Looks like an R'&'B diva in full come and get me mode"
"A heavily treated still from the human nature video"
"Well it's quite obviously Booty Luv bashing their heads together, but from a certain angle it looks like a Viking helmet that one of them should wear on their next single sleeve."
"It's Cher innit. Do I get a prize?"
"It's Mary J. Blige. Hurrah"
It is indeed Mary J Blige.
And let us tell you this right now: the new album is a right old stinker. One good song about two thirds of the way in, or something like that. Maybe we need to give it another listen. Then again, maybe if we spent every day listening to everything a million times until we found something of merit we'd still be wading our way through the release schedule from 1996. No, Mary J. You do not get a second chance to make a first impression. You have blown it.