Here, then, is a track-by-track review of Christina Aguilera’s latest warble­fest ‘Lotus’.

Lotus Intro
To be honest this could have been cut off at around the 1:30 mark and been quite a solid ‘Intro’ to the album, but Christina starts as she means to go on and offers us a bloated 3:18 of electro-hypnoticy chat. Consider this your warning sign.
Shouting: In the back­ground. For now.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Nil.
Any good: Half of it, yes.

Army Of Me
Christina’s labelled this one ‘Fighter 2.0’, which is a bit of an over­state­ment as quite frankly it’s not as good. It’s ‘punchy’, but lacks the pop balls that made ‘Fighter’ so amazing. ‘Fighter H20’ would probably be a more apt descrip­tion, as it’s ulti­mately a watered-down version of her earlier effort.
Shouting: Of course.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Not yet (sur­pris­ingly).
Any good: Average.

Red Hot Kinda Love
It took her three songs, but Christina finally gets dirty. The song itself is a welcome blast of upbeat pop following the rather serious start to the album. There are lots of good ‘oooh’ ‘lalala’ hooky bits that all fit together and make a for an enjoyable listen.
Shouting: Standard Xtina warbles at the end.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Just a few images of her getting hot under the collar.
Any good: Yes.

Make The World Move
This one features spinny-chair pal Cee-Lo Green, who doesn’t really make much of an impact. The chorus falls a bit flat after a good start verse and pre-chorus and doesn’t quite recover. It’s a bit like a Nice biscuit.
Shouting: Yes.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: None what­so­ever.
Any good: 5 out of 10.

Your Body
“All I wanna do is fuck your body”. That pretty much sums up this one doesn’t it?
Shouting: INCESSANT.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Why yes, since you ask.
Any good: Oh yes.

Let There Be Love
It’s rumpo ahoy on the second Max Martin addition to the album. “Awwooo like that / It feels so good that I can’t hold back / Awwooo like that / Hit the right spot making my eyes roll back.” How subtle. It’s Christina showing us she too can partake in the clubLOL 'phe­nomenon' that has been sat­ur­at­ing the charts in the past year.
Shouting: Yes.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Littered.
Any good: As paint-by-numbers pop goes, yes.

Sing For Me
By this point I'm feeling a bit exhausted so a ballad is actually welcome. Unfortunately it’s just a throwaway album track. There’s no real hook in the whole song, just Christina going on about singing through pain etc etc. The drums sound nice though. Note: I started to feel a headache coming on at this point.
Shouting: Unfortunately.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: No.
Any good: Again, no.

Blank Page
Another ballad! But this time it’s by above average pop scribe Sia so it's auto­mat­ic­ally better than the one before. If you were having a bad day this one would be good to have a bit of a cry to.
Shouting: There’s warbling in the chorus and lots of it.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Not this time round.
Any good: Yes

Cease Fire
Christina goes all dramatic and war-like on this one, but it all sounds too much like a Rihanna castoff. Mind you, it's one of the better ‘filler’ tracks on the album.
Shouting: Minimal, until the end.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Nope.
Any good: Not amazing, not poor. Pleasant enough.

Around The World
This song is basically Christina wanting to have sexual inter­course with someone in different locations around the world. It’s basic pop filler and prompts my headache to really kick in. Well done Christina, well done everyone.
Shouting: Towards the end, of course.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Oh yes.
Any good: Not one bit.

“Spin around on my middle finger,” begins ‘Circles’. There are even a few shits and mother­fuck­ers, which is always nice. I like it when Christina gets a bit wobbly and the bubblegum melody sounds oddly good with the lyrics. Not her finest pop moment, but inter­est­ing enough.
Shouting: Oh yes.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Lots of naughty words.
Any good: Quite.

Best Of Me
Christina gets all vul­ner­able on us yet again and sings about how nothing can break her blah etc and so on. It’s a bit too ser­i­ous­face for me, a limp ballad that feels just tagged onto the track­list­ing.
Shouting: Standard ballad warbles in the latter stages.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: None.
Any good: Not really.

Just A Fool
That country one from The Voice turns up here for a bit of a singsong to round things up. It’s a country-pop number that actually sounds alright if you’re into that kind of thing, which I am, so that’s okay. Think of the time Kelly Clarkson did that country song, but add that unne­ces­sary warbling we’ve all grown to love (hate) and you get the idea.
Shouting: On point.
Bad language/unimpressive sex chat: Nope.
Any good: A nice way to ease out of the album.

I was going to go into the extra songs on the ‘Deluxe’ version, but by this point I felt a bit drained.

Lotus’ has some good moments, some standard lulls and the odd mis-step, but there's nothing quite bad enough to prevent further listens. 6 on 10.