We don't half get sent some rubbish. Try this for an opening gambit.
Britney Spears might be trying out threesomes, but New York electropop trio Whore's Mascara is taking it to a whole other level in the brand new video for their 80s-inspired single, "Monogamous."
You will already be thinking, 'do you know what, this doesn't really sound like it's likely to be very good'. Brace yourselves.
Whore's Mascara seem harmless enough but they're at the less awful end of a really boring subset of pop music.
You'll find a lot of it in London — this pop music which situates itself in the tiresome world of 'seedy sexual perversion' and 'glamour' and 'debauchery' which always seems to roughly translate as 'once saw a gig at Madame Jojo's, friend of a friend knows Jodie Harsh'. The emails they send you always start off with phrases like 'HEY BITCHES', their styling is usually terrible but the photos themselves tend to be above average, the singers can never actually sing, and in their heads these bands are thinking "WOO THIS IS LIKE SUBVERSIVE PUNK ATTITUDE WITH A GLITTER BALL FOR ITS HEART" and all you think in response is, 'it's 2009, this isn't novel or confrontational or interesting, you are a very, very bad Scissor Sisters tribute act, your songs are utterly without merit and in popstar terms you're very much the wrong side of 25, have you thought about getting a job'.