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14 reasons the Geri Halliwell single might not be shit on a stick

  • October 4, 2013
  • Popjustice

As you will no doubt have seen, Geri Halliwell performed her new single 'Half Of Me' on an Australian football TV show (!) last night.

Response online has not exactly been kind, but nor is the single exactly good. Mind you, some brave Twitter souls have done their best to turn this frown upside down, and here 14 com­pletely robust defences of this millstone in popular culture.

1. The 'maybe we can chuck someone £700 to sort this out' defence

I'm sure once it's auto tuned it'll sound alright-ish.

Geri Halliwell — Half Of Me — Live on Australian TV http://t.co/YB2dGWpY4y

— Andrew Whitty (@Andrew_Whitty) October 4, 2013

2. The 'ignore the performance, concentrate on the artistry' defence

For the people who saw Geri Halliwell's per­form­ance on that Australian Footy Show. She's more of a song­writer than she is a singer.

— I Am that I Am (@Girl4Music) October 4, 2013

3. The 'get the turd-polishers on the phone' defence

https://twitter.com/impossible_paul/status/386073720638672897

4. The 'you can trust me I've got an impartial Twitter username' defence

Geri Halliwell new amazing single 'Half of me' is available for pre order on iTunes Australia! Out on October 25!

— SpiceGirlsForeverIT (@SGForeverItaly) October 3, 2013

5. The 'if I put a deranged "haha" at the end perhaps I will be more convincing' defence

https://twitter.com/back_to_zach/status/385736680168112128

6. The 'pearls before swine' defence

I'm not entirely sure why Geri Halliwell is launching her new single on the footy show. It's not her target market.

— Moylan Magic (@melstar001) October 3, 2013

7. The 'come on guys how could it live up to previous triumphs' defence

https://twitter.com/sheesidd/status/386062462577291264

8. The 'benefit of the doubt' defence

@Popjustice "wanna have your baby/wanna have you like gravy"? I think I may have misheard this…

— Patrick Connor (@_patrickconnor) October 4, 2013

9. The 'look she was never a live vocalist' defence

@Popjustice Meh, I like it, I just wanna hear the studio version now!

— Michael Beltran (@MickyBell) October 4, 2013

10. The 'you have to consider the clip as a whole' defence

https://twitter.com/putasinghonit/status/386063763696521216

11. The 'synthtrumpet' defence

@petefrasermusic @Popjustice On the plus side, it does use The Final Countdown's synth-brass sound.

— Sweet Billy Pilgrim (@sweetbillyp) October 4, 2013

12. The 'LOOK OVER THERE!' defence

@sweetbillyp @Popjustice Got to the chorus. The dancing!

— Pete Fraser (@petefrasermusic) October 4, 2013

13. The 'maybe it needs a few listens' defence

@Popjustice hopefully itll b a grower with a great geri video!!

— c:ball (@cball999) October 4, 2013

And finally, most auda­ciously of all:

14. The 'it's better with the sound off' defence

@Popjustice Watch it without the sound on, and it's like some remnant from a Soviet TV variety show. Imagine she's singing in Estonian.

— Doug (@achknalligewelt) October 4, 2013

Anyway we wish Geri Halliwell all the best with this single release and, naturally, cannot wait to see the video.

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