As you will no doubt have seen, Geri Halliwell performed her new single 'Half Of Me' on an Australian football TV show (!) last night.
Response online has not exactly been kind, but nor is the single exactly good. Mind you, some brave Twitter souls have done their best to turn this frown upside down, and here 14 completely robust defences of this millstone in popular culture.
1. The 'maybe we can chuck someone £700 to sort this out' defence
I'm sure once it's auto tuned it'll sound alright-ish.
Geri Halliwell — Half Of Me — Live on Australian TV http://t.co/YB2dGWpY4y
— Andrew Whitty (@Andrew_Whitty) October 4, 2013
2. The 'ignore the performance, concentrate on the artistry' defence
For the people who saw Geri Halliwell's performance on that Australian Footy Show. She's more of a songwriter than she is a singer.
— I Am that I Am (@Girl4Music) October 4, 2013
3. The 'get the turd-polishers on the phone' defence
https://twitter.com/impossible_paul/status/386073720638672897
4. The 'you can trust me I've got an impartial Twitter username' defence
Geri Halliwell new amazing single 'Half of me' is available for pre order on iTunes Australia! Out on October 25!
— SpiceGirlsForeverIT (@SGForeverItaly) October 3, 2013
5. The 'if I put a deranged "haha" at the end perhaps I will be more convincing' defence
https://twitter.com/back_to_zach/status/385736680168112128
6. The 'pearls before swine' defence
I'm not entirely sure why Geri Halliwell is launching her new single on the footy show. It's not her target market.
— Moylan Magic (@melstar001) October 3, 2013
7. The 'come on guys how could it live up to previous triumphs' defence
https://twitter.com/sheesidd/status/386062462577291264
8. The 'benefit of the doubt' defence
@Popjustice "wanna have your baby/wanna have you like gravy"? I think I may have misheard this…
— Patrick Connor (@_patrickconnor) October 4, 2013
9. The 'look she was never a live vocalist' defence
@Popjustice Meh, I like it, I just wanna hear the studio version now!
— Michael Beltran (@MickyBell) October 4, 2013
10. The 'you have to consider the clip as a whole' defence
https://twitter.com/putasinghonit/status/386063763696521216
11. The 'synthtrumpet' defence
@petefrasermusic @Popjustice On the plus side, it does use The Final Countdown's synth-brass sound.
— Sweet Billy Pilgrim (@sweetbillyp) October 4, 2013
12. The 'LOOK OVER THERE!' defence
@sweetbillyp @Popjustice Got to the chorus. The dancing!
— Pete Fraser (@petefrasermusic) October 4, 2013
13. The 'maybe it needs a few listens' defence
@Popjustice hopefully itll b a grower with a great geri video!!
— c:ball (@cball999) October 4, 2013
And finally, most audaciously of all:
14. The 'it's better with the sound off' defence
@Popjustice Watch it without the sound on, and it's like some remnant from a Soviet TV variety show. Imagine she's singing in Estonian.
— Doug (@achknalligewelt) October 4, 2013
Anyway we wish Geri Halliwell all the best with this single release and, naturally, cannot wait to see the video.
