SOME QUESTIONS WE EMAILED TO WOOWOOS, AND THE ANSWERS THEY EMAILED BACK
You know how it is. You want some hard answers to some hard questions and you don’t want any chitchat getting in the way. The perfect solution: an email interview.
Let’s see how new warbling ladies WooWoos cope in this most harsh of interview environments.
So, ‘WooWoos’. You are amazing. Is this correct or incorrect, and why?
Jess: I’d say ‘correct’. Why? Read on…
What are the most exciting facts about each of you?
Jess: Russell Brand is my Dad. I directed Goodfellas. I’ve wrestled a blue whale.
Nicky: I’m fun, fearless and looking for a good time. At least that’s what it says on my dating profile.
Tasie: I am on a ‘save all the battery chickens’ life mission. Fascinatingly all three WooWoos were all born on the same day.
What are the most boring facts about each of you?
Jess: Everything I just said is false. David Attenborough is my idol. (But I don’t think that’s boring to be honest.)
Tasie: We drink copious amounts of tea. I have an abnormal obsession with crocodiles. Circles clumped together ridiculously freak me out. An example? Caviar.
Nicky: Well, there was this one time where I walked down to shops to get a loaf of bread…
In one word, what are your songs about?
Nicky: Vegetables. (See ‘Fizzy Lettuce’ for reference.)
How did WooWoos come into being?
Jess: Nicky and Tasie stood outside my house and threatened to kill my family.
Why does good pop music exist?
Tasie: Because otherwise Popjustice wouldn’t exist!
Jess: Because people need a device to transport them back to key moments in life.
And what is the point of this thing we call life?
Tasie: To eat good food!
You sound quite a lot like first-album-era Sugababes, which is great. Is that the idea?
Jess: No, I dont think anyone sets out to be anyone do they? But as it happens we are changing our names to Siobhan, Keisha and Mutya. (I bagsy Mutya.)
First-album-era Sugababes got dropped because nobody bought their records. Not so great. Is that also the idea?
Nicky: Oh shit! WE’RE DOOMED!
Jess: HA! We live in fear. But if it happens we’ll just chuck one of us out.
Tasie: We’ll just change the lineup and then sell lots of records. We will get rid of Jess. Oh what the hey, let’s just replace both of them.
Are you sure about the name ‘Woo Woos’? It is not too late to change your minds.
Jess: No… I reckon we have about two weeks. What do you suggest?
Nicky: Cheeky Girls was already taken so we had settle with WooWoos.
Tasie: WooWoos is a pretty ridiculous name but then again, the music industry is pretty ridiculous.
What can you do to convince the world that you are not a bunch o’ fools?
Nicky: Wear glasses.
Tasie: Keep our mouths shut for as long as we can manage. And then give you a two hour lecture on String Theory.
VERDICT: They did quite well.