Look, we don't profess to know everything about Ed Drewett. How could we, he's a complicated man.
What we do know, however, can be found by reading the following questions and their corresponding answers.
What is your mum called?
Did you go anywhere nice on your holidays?
What is your favourite chocolate bar?
What animal would you gladly never encounter in your lifetime?
A platypus, because they're actually quite poisonous. Not a lot of people know that.
Who is your best friend?
What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Open my eyes.
Who do you think has a perfect face?
Are you in love?
What's the last book you read?
Probably something to do with the SAS.
Could you write Mutya Keisha Siobhan a hit?
Could I? Easy.
Where's the strangest place you've ever put your hand?
(Laughs) Oh god! That's a good one. Fuck! There's all sorts of shit running through my head. I fell in a — this is typical Drewett — I fell in a… You know the dog poop bins that are dug into the ground, and they kind of have poo tipped in? One of my old neighbours had one of those, and there was snow, and I fell in the snow and went through the lid. I had a sleeve of shit. It doesn't get better than that.
Do you worry about your weight?
More and more as I get older.
What did you have for breakfast?
I haven't this morning yet. [We're speaking at 10am 'FYI']
What have you got in your pockets?
I'm actually sat here in my pants.
Have you done the Harlem Shake?
I did my own version but I called it the 'Harlem Rake' because I thought it was a little bit done. I'll send you the video of it!
What's a fair price for your single 'Drunk Dial'?
In this current day and age I think that 99p is pretty fair. I think back in the day a few quid for a physical single would have been fair also.
How many pints can you drink before you fall over?
I'd probably say ten pints before I'm out.
What would you like for dinner?
Lamb shank with a red wine gravy and garlic mashed potato.
How old is too old for a man to go skateboarding?
Oh gosh, there's quite a good cut off point for that. Anything over 30, or between 30 and 35 is probably a time they should stop. Hang the board up.
How old were you when you found out about sex?
Pretty young. I'd probably say about ten.
Which member of your family is the worst cook?
Um, I can't say my Mum because… (Laughs) And my Dad's pretty good. I'm just gonna sacrifice myself and say I'm the worst cook. There you go. But I'm not.
What colour are your pillows?
Black and white. I've got a pink one under it actually.
What did you last buy from eBay?
I've never got round to setting up an eBay account.
What was your worst subject at school?
When did you last take a photo of yourself?
Probably last week. It wasn't posey. It was humourous.
What is the worst day of the week?
I'm pretty happy with every day of the week, but I never really like Sundays. You know you've got shit to do the next day.
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I sleep on the right.
Semi-skimmed or full fat?
Sea or swimming pool?
Oh god. I'd say swimming pool.
What’s your favourite animal?
I love a good meerkat. But I liked the meerkat before the meerkat resurgence, if you know what I mean.
Surf or turf?
If I can I have both. If it's a meal that's surf and turf. I have that all the time.
What’s your favourite breed of dog?
Are you left or right handed?
I'm right handed.
How often do you get your haircut?
I cut my hair myself. I do that once every few weeks.
What’s the best freebie you’ve ever been given?
I was given… Oh no that's a pretty shit freebee actually. Trainers! Anything shoe-related is just blinding.
What’s the hardest word to spell?
If I knew it i wouldn't be able to spell it. I could probably spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but let's just say that because that's the clichéd one that everyone's gonna say.
Who do you vote for?
I've not really voted. I kind of don't feel like my voice would be heard. But then you don't get anywhere if you don't vote, so maybe I should.
What’s your favourite name for a girl?
God. This is dangerous. I'd say Alexandra or Carly.
What is the rudest word you know?
Have you got any tattoos?
Yeah, I've got a few tattoos.
Are you bored of these questions yet?
No. Fuck no!
What do you like about Europe?
Did you expect the Robbie album to do better or worse than it did?
I would have expected it to at least connect with the youth a bit more. Probably do a little better in the end. Where did it go in the end? Number One? Oh okay.
New York, London, Paris or Munich?
I would have to have say London any day.
What does the Daily Mail mean to you?
Another paper that I can find out information from that may or may not be true.
What’s the best day of the week?
I'd say it's a Thursday or a Saturday.
At what age were you happiest?
I'd say when I was about 16. And I'm pretty happy now.
What’s wrong with pop?
A lack of quality.
What’s right with pop?
A lot of good hooks.
Are you good in a fight?
I'm handy. I'm not a killing machine.
What’s the best location to park a caravan?
In a caravan park.
What word do people incorrectly use to describe you?
Up-my-own-arse. I don't think I am.
What word do people correctly use to describe you?
Too sensitive, or sensitive.
What is your favourite flavour of yoghurt?
Any yoghurt with a chocolate additive would be fucking amazing.
What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?
Probably a car.
What is your favourite fruit?
I love a pomegranate.
What is your least favourite TV show?
Any kind of soap.
What was the last thing you read about yourself on the internet?
I actually don't know that one.
How long does it take you to do your hair?
I'd probably say two minutes.
Bath or shower?
Shower — cold. It's very invigorating.
What is the appeal of cheese strings?
They're real appealable cheese! (Laughs)
Would you rather have no teeth or no hair?
Why do we have dreams?
Ideally to take you to another place.
The red pill or the blue pill?
The blue pill.
Fried, boiled, poached or scrambled?
Hollyoaks: a good thing?
Dogs or cats?
Rock or roll?
What are the names of the people you live with?
Jan, Rob, Lizzie, and Jake my dog.
What do you have on your bedroom walls?
At the moment, nothing.
Do you pair up your socks before you put them away?
Yeah. Unless I'm going odd.
What did you do yesterday?
Yesterday I had a little gig.
Christmas or birthday?
Town or country?
Comics or cartoons?
Biscuit or cake?
Which supermarket do you shop in?
Marks & Sparks or Waitrose.
Where do you buy your pants?
Wherever I like the look of them.
Which reality TV show do you want to go on?
How fast is too fast?
You can't go too fast.
Three words that best describe you in the morning are…
Numb, blind and uncoordinated.
The title of your autobiography would be…
Is it time for people to stop wearing stripes?
No. Fuck no!
Have you ever seen a ghost?
No. I don't want to.
Have you ever fallen off a bike?
Yes, hundreds of times.
What is the name of the first person you kissed?
You must be bored of these questions now?
What is your worst injury ever?
A dislocated, damaged and torn shoulder.
How much money have you got on you?
Nothing. I'm in my pants and that's it.
What would people find out about you from a documentary?
That I really really give a fuck about music. More so than they ever imagined.
What is the worst thing you have ever eaten?
I think as a child I put dog poo in my mouth.
Do you know any lesbians?
Yes. My neighbours are lesbians.
How good out of 10 do you think the Beyoncé album will be?
I hope it's fucking amazing. I'd love it to be an 11.
Which member will be the first to leave One Direction?
Which member of The Wanted would you be most surprised to find out was gay?
If you were twice as talented would you sell twice as many records?
No. That's not how it works.
What percentage do you tip in a restaurant?
I tend to do the 10 per cent.
How much is on your Oyster card?
I lost my Oyster card.
How much is your rent?
I don't pay rent at the moment.
What could you do to get played on the radio more?
Erm, sleep with people.
'Drunk Dial' is out now on, for example, iTunes.