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How we learned to stop worrying and love The Dolly Rockers' lack of activity

  • June 25, 2012
  • Popjustice

There was a time when tweets like the one above would infuriate us.

"Bloody hell," we would think. "It's three years since this lot — a band we thought had the potential for greatness — had a single out. Every few weeks they update us with a studio picture or an un-called-for acoustic song. But when will they Get On With It and release a single?"

Well we're beyond that now. It's as if they've gone so far into pop music's Get On With It black hole that the concept of their tardiness has itself ceased to exist.

The Dolly Rockers are no longer a band that releases music, they are the idea of a band that releases music.

Just as we found a way to enjoy the idea that Nadia Oh might not actually exist, so this refresh­ing way to look at the Dolly Rockers provides a strange but sat­is­fy­ing sense of clarity.

If they never release a single, we will always have something to look forward to, even if we know deep down that our thirst may never be quenched. If they never release a single, we will never have to put up with their likely-to-be-quite-exhaust­ing attempt to flog it through the wonders of social media. If they never release a single, it can never disappoint.

The Dolly Rockers are a girlband trapped in amber, preserved forever until someone comes along in 100,000 years, extracts their DNA and clones them, with horrific con­sequences, as the main attrac­tion at a Dolly Rockers theme park.

  • dolly rockers
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Nicki Minaj is going on a UK arena tour later this year

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  • 1
    Congratulations to Charli XCX and Lorde: winners of the 2024 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize
  • 2
    The 2024 Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 3
    The 2023 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Shortlist
  • 4
    Fine, let's do a Substack then.
  • 5
    The 2022 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: shortlist
  • 6
    2021 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize: Laura Mvula wins
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