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THE LATEST. Highs and lows from the pop frontline

Popwoldcupjustece: Brazel, vs Nethelands

Posted by Brad O'Mance on Jul 12 2014 at about 21:07

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BRAZIL V NETHERLANDS

Guest referee:
Dumper – Work experience robot, Popjustice

Anitta – ‘Bla Bla Bla’

“Fist let,me say how exited I am,to be slelected to write this,
the Woldcup game betwen ‘Brazel’ and ‘Nethelends’ promeses to be a real “gammon to halves” as theysay, in fotball cicles. Iwas, initely asked to choose the ‘Number fortey’hitsingel from each countrey in this fotball match and compare,them, but I have “gone rogue” and have instead chosen, to Anal,yse the curent ‘chart toper’ from eachrespecteve country, starteng here with Anita’s ‘BLah, Bla Blah’, which remminds me sligtly of Aless Dejay. Asyou will notece Annita is playing a solidpair up front (fotball metephor!) (herbreasts) and this song,is a real toe taper.”

Netherlands32 Gerard Joling – ‘Rio’

“Here is,the curent ‘chat toper’ from Nethelands, Geradjoleng with “Riot”. I notewith intrerest that this song was rectently picked as a “Hot favuorite” by Joshcuthbet from ‘UnionJ’ the

hitboband, as maneyof you areaware I takea keen intrerest in Joshcuthbet (I am notgay ,it is a “bromans”) so I was plesed that he enjoyed the song,as did I, it  shares a name with “Rio” the town where The Woldcup is takeng place so is both topicel and fun to listento. I was notkeen on the dubestep as thisis a genderof musec that can leave me feeleng upset,. Itis intreresteng that the man, Gerad, in the vido is ovbiosly notgay becuase tehre are a lot, of ladies in their underwear etc., etc., so I find it verey reletable.”

Dumper’s full time score:

Brazil 02 - Netherlands 0M

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Popworldcupjustice: Brazil vs Netherlands
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Next up: Germany vs Argentina

Popworldcupjustice: Netherlands vs Argentina

Posted by Brad O'Mance on Jul 09 2014 at about 21:00

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NETHERLANDS V ARGENTINA

Guest referee: Josh Cuthbert – Popstar, Union J

Netherlands32 Gerard Joling – ‘Rio’

“I didn’t know anything about Gerard. I know Steven Gerrard, the England captain, but I didn’t know Gerard from Holland before seeing him in this rather beautiful video. In the nicest possible way, I’m one of 650,000 people to have watched this video so therefore 649,999 people also feel my pain. There’s a lot of orange on display, which is fine because they’re Holland and that’s their thing, but because he’s quite tanned it sort of all blends into one and looks like a big orange blob. In fairness, at least everyone in the video is having a good time and not taking themselves too seriously. It’s a happy video and a happy song, and a lot of music videos don’t look like people are actually having any fun, but he genuinely seems to be having the time of his life. The song itself is really catchy but if it was one of Union J’s songs I would be less confident about us not being on The Big Reunion in a couple of years. I support Chelsea so I’m used to hearing all these butch men sing football songs in their manly, deep tones and Gerard’s done the complete opposite – he’s sort of jazzed up the typical football song. It sort of works.”

Argentina32 Calvin Harris – ‘Summer’

“This is a great track. It’s a world class song and it’s one of my favourite songs of the summer so far to be honest. Calvin’s a proper popstar now isn’t he and he’s had some great songs. Also the video is world class. I mean if you’re a typical lad you’d love that video – it’s got gorgeous girls in it, it’s got drag racing, amazing cars and Calvin Harris walking about like he owns the world. It ticks every box. He’s covered five normal videos in one go, which is quite something. The girls in the video are half-naked so I think it would appeal to the ladies more if he decided to get his chest out too, which is probably about the same size as some of the ladies’ chests anyway. Obviously this is about football, so if Calvin Harris were a footballer he’d be someone like Cristiano Ronaldo. The ladies love Ronaldo and I think the ladies love Calvin Harris, plus he’s improved dramatically over the years and they’re now both the best at what they do. Basically it’s a cracking song.”

Josh’s full time score:

Netherlands 1 - Argentina 7

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Popworldcupjustice: Netherlands vs Argentina
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Next up: Brazil vs whoever loses this one we guess.

Popworldcupjustice: Brazil vs Germany

Posted by Brad O'Mance on Jul 08 2014 at about 21:00

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BRAZIL V GERMANY

Guest referee: Mollie King – Popstar, The Saturdays

Before we hand over to the actual Mollie From The Saturdays and her musings, let’s just quickly mention the theme for this next round (we’re at the semi-finals stage now so not long to go, don’t worry). Obviously as we edge closer to the final we thought it would be good to, er, sort of circle back round to where it all started, but this time we’ve picked the Number One songs from each country irrespective of nationality. This means that for this ‘match’ Mollie has the chance to review a track by someone who actually calls himself ‘The Prick’ (we’re assuming it’s a man to be honest). That Mollie doesn’t actually reference this fact in her ‘review’ is testament to her character.

Anyway, here’s what she had to say about it all:

Anitta – Blá Blá Blá

“Currently Number One in Brazil, the title of this dance-pop number speaks volumes about the quality of the track.  This screams budget J.Lo in every possible way. The performance isn’t bad – Anitta is a great dancer and looks great in a spangly gold top – but the tune isn’t really up my alley. However, 5m people in Brazil clearly love it, so Anitta’s charms must be working on some people. I’m giving this a 4/10.”

Germany32 Lilly Wood & The Prick and Robin Schulz – ‘Prayer In C’ (Robin Schulz Remix)

“Remixed by Robin Shultz who turned Mr Probz ‘Waves’ into a world conquering smash, this tune has the same sort of floaty magical feeling. It’s all very ‘summer 2014’ and could definitely be an international hit. The video features some quite menacing looking face paint, lots of drinking in various public places and some cheeky bum flashing. Initially looks a bit scary but ends up feeling like quite a fun weekend tearing up German city streets. Inspiration for the next Saturdays’ video? Maybe not…But overall I’m giving this a 9/10.”

Mollie’s full time score:

Brazil 4 - Germany 9

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Popworldcupjustice: Brazil vs Germany
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Next up: Netherlands vs Argentina