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THE LATEST. Highs and lows from the pop frontline

Things learned at Summit Kinda Ooooh

Posted by Popjustice on Jul 28 2011 at about 11:36

Summit Kinda Ooooh, an event of such earth-trembling popmagnitude that a crater is all that remains of the venue that hosted it on Tuesday night, told all in attendance a great deal about the past, the present and the future of Girls Aloud.

Over the course of the night we calculated the highs and lows of the band’s decade-spanning career to date, used this information to plot out the band’s next twelve months, agreed on what their music should and shouldn’t sound like, and agreed to disagree on the matter of Aggro Santos.

Among our findings:

» Girls Aloud should reunite (not that they ever split up etc-etc-fucking-etc) and they should do it quite soon.

» If the music turns out to be shit, the whole thing’s off.

» There should be an endorsement deal with Yorkshire Tea.

» A Girls Aloud Experience ride at a major theme park needs to happen in 2012.

» A ‘surprise’ Christmas single should probably be the first release. It will be announced by all five members of the band on an X Factor Girls Aloud Week, then released the following Sunday.

» Nicola Roberts should be put in charge of the planet.

» Becky from Coronation Street should be the band’s sixth/fifth member if only four original band members agree to the reunion.

» David Guetta and Pitbull can keep their hands RIGHT OFF THIS ONE THANKS VERY MUCH.

We have plenty of ‘findings’ which we will pulling together into a Damning Dossier. It’ll be sent to the band but also put online because we feel this should be regarded as a matter of public record.

Thanks to everyone who came along on Tuesday – we had a lot of fun and hope you did too.

beyonceeating

Beyoncé is planning a soul food cookbook

Posted on Jul 28 2011 at about 10:42. comments

A Newsdump for July 28 2011: From Nicki Minaj being fined to Belle Amie knowing their own mind.

Posted by Popjustice on Jul 28 2011 at about 07:58

» Nicki Minaj has been fined for giving a performance “accentuated by sexually suggestive dance moves” in Jamaica. (Rolling Stone)

» Beyonce wants to have a look at your wedding videos. (Billboard)

» Marina leans against a wall, has new hair and knows a bit of Russian in this picture. (Twitter)

» Cher Lloyd says she learned how to rap from the internet. (The Guardian)

» Destiny’s Child have reunited…At the launch party for Kelly Rowland‘s new album, ‘Here I Am’. (Daily Mail)

» Lady Gaga‘s appearance on So You Think You Can Dance culminated in her giving her shoes away to one of the contestants. (E! Online)

» Will Young didn’t feel sexual until he was 26. (The Sun)

» The Black Eyed Peas “irritated locals” during their Wireless festival set last month. (Irish Times)

» And finally, Belle Amie didn’t like their clothes or their songs on The X Factor, which was a problem as they’re all “fashion strong”. (OK!)

THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.