Where next for the members of Stereo Kicks?

There was sad news over the weekend when Stereo Kicks, the eight-piece boyband formed on last year's X Factor, announced that the dream was over.

The only cliché absent from the band's farewell message was deploy­ment of the term 'roller­coaster', but don't worry because they've got that covered: their farewell per­form­ance will take place this Saturday at Thorpe Park.

To some, Stereo Kicks rep­res­en­ted a missed oppor­tun­ity to launch an exciting eight-headed, multi-sub-united UK boyband. To some, Stereo Kicks turned out to be one of the most charmless boybands of the mil­len­nium. To some, Stereo Kicks and their shoddy, will-this-do single release 'Love Me So', undid the work done by acts like One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer and set back the whole boyband thing by twenty years.

But that's not fair. Because they were all that — and more. Who can forget the leaked nude photos! Who can forget the drugs scandals! Who can forget the legendary tweets! Who can forget the midweek Number 12 Number 31 hit!

Here's what we reckon the band's members will do next.

Barclay Beales
Known for his short brown hair, Barclay was born in 1995 and audi­tioned for Series 10 of The X Factor, but finally made it through to the finals of The X Factor in 2014 as one eighth of Stereo Kicks. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Chris Leonard
Known for his short brown hair, Chris was born in 1995 and audi­tioned for Series 10 of The X Factor, but finally made it through to the finals of The X Factor in 2014 as one eighth of Stereo Kicks. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Tom Mann
Tom was not born in 1995, so as a solo artist Tom is a totally different pro­pos­i­tion to Chris and Barclay, which just goes to show that there was far more to Stereo Kicks than a random number of identical males. Known for his short brown hair, Tom audi­tioned for Series 10 of The X Factor, but finally made it through to the finals of The X Factor in 2014 as one eighth of Stereo Kicks. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Casey Johnson
Known for his short brown hair, Casey Johnson was born in 1995. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

James Graham
Expect to see this talented vocalist — known for his short brown hair — audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Reece Bibby
Expect to see this talented vocalist — known for his short brown hair — audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Jake Sims
Expect to see this talented vocalist — known for his short brown hair — audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Charlie Jones
Expect to see this talented vocalist — known for his short brown hair — audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

Jessie J
Jessica Cornish forced her way into the band in April as part of a hostile takeover following unsub­stan­ti­ated rumours that Stereo Kicks were on the verge of signing a deal to become the new face of After Eight mints. Ironically her presence raised the band's headcount to nine, thus voiding the After Eight contract. Expect to see this talented vocalist endorsing something or other in the ad breaks on this year's X Factor!

Barclay Bibby
Barclay Bibby is the son of Barclay Beales and Reece Bibby. He was conceived at judges' houses last year and born in June this year. Barclay is the youngest member of Stereo Kicks. Reece Bibby reports that things are going well with his son, after initial problems latching on. Barclay Bibby has short brown hair and will be audi­tion­ing in this year's X Factor, playing drums for his dads.

Jake SIM
Stereo Kicks may be bigger than your average boyband — but they're revolu­tion­ary in unex­pec­ted ways. Jake SIM is a small device inserted into James Graham's mobile phone. Jake will not be eligible to audition in this year's X Factor as elec­tronic devices have been banned from the 2015 contest on account of potential inter­fer­ence with Rita Ora's pacemaker.

Jordan Stephens
Formerly a member of Rizzle Kicks, Jordan Stephens ended up in Stereo Kicks as part of the set­tle­ment in a legal case launched in February by Island Records, who claimed Stereo Kicks chose their band name in a moment of panic after seeing a copy of Rizzle Kicks' album 'Stereo Typical' lying around. Jordan has since undergone skin pig­ment­a­tion surgery after bosses insisted that, as per the logic laid out during Stereo Kicks' formation, a group of lads featuring someone who wasn't white just wouldn't seem relatable to anybody at all. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for a present­ing role on next year's Xtra Factor!

Graham James
Graham James is James Graham's evil twin, who would occa­sion­ally kidnap his brother and replace him in photo shoots. Hardcore Stereo Kicks fans hold Graham James respons­ible for the psy­cho­lo­gical downfall of James Graham and, ulti­mately, the demise of Stereo Kicks. Expect to see this talented vocalist audi­tion­ing for this year's X Factor!

GOOD LUCK GUYS.