We found a good email while we were clearing out our inbox the other day.
The email concerns the new boyband Vice (pictured right), a troupe you may already have come across in your travels across the web.
Pop bands like Vice seem to exist almost exclusively in the realm of peripheral vision — you might notice their name, or a link to their site, or some sort of stupid spam message on an internet forum, but only fleetingly and never intentionally.
They're not particularly good although, to be fair, we've seen far worse, and their song isn't actually the worst of all time, but the lyrics represent what can only be described as a cavalcade of cliche.
Brace yourselves, here's how they appear in the email:
I'm stood scanning this girl, in her own world in the middle of the dance floor,
So hot, lady don't care waving those sexy arms in the air.
Ting ting, got a bling ring, I don't wanna do the wrong thing,
Insane, feeding my brain, the girl is a drug I'll take it in vain.
Long lashes, skinny jeans, she rocks the floor,
She's the funk, soul, indie queen,
She wants to go baby yeah, yeah
She wants to go baby yeah, yeah, YEAH
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Give it all up you're out of control.
Let me see you bounce, come on, bounce, huh
I don't wanna do the wrong thing.
I want to see you bounce, bounce, bounce
Give it all up you're out of control.
Come on baby bounce, give it to me now girl.
Rock the beat, rock with me yeah.
Roughed up, gonna get stuck getting loved up with this girl on the dance floor.
Locked in, something I see this girl plus one, the plus one's a she.
Dancing, in full swing makes me wanna do the wrong thing.
Kiss kiss, lady's in bliss, red light show my mind can't resist.
Long lashes, skinny jeans, she rocks the floor,
She's the funk, soul, indie queen,
She wants to go baby yeah, yeah
She wants to go baby yeah, yeah, YEAH
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
give it all up your out of control.
Let me see you bounce, come on, bounce, huh
I don't wanna do the wrong thing.
I want to see you bounce, bounce, bounce
Give it all up your out of control.
Come on baby bounce, give it to me now girl.
Rock the beat, rock with me yeah.
You know I want it bad,
But I can't give it to ya,
Cause I'm not what you want, I'm not want you need…
WOW.
Funk lashes, indie queen,
She wants to L,L,L,L
Long lashes, skinny jeans, YEAH
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
give it all up your out of control.
Let me see you bounce, come on, bounce, huh
I don't wanna do the wrong thing.
I want to see you bounce, bounce, bounce
Give it all up your out of control.
Come on baby bounce, give it to me now girl.
Rock the beat, rock with me yeah.
They're performing at this year's Clothes Show Live, you know.