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Here is the news

BONG!
Yes, thank you, 'renegade' chart hypers, we are quite aware the chart rules have changed to allow download-only tracks to chart.

BONG!
And yes, this includes YOU, the group of Spice Girls fans trying to get 'Stop' back into the charts for literally no reason whatsoever.

BONG!
And you, the Busted fans trying to get 'What I Go To School For' back into 'the forty' to prove something or other.

BONG!
And this par­tic­u­larly includes YOU, 7Digital, for setting up It Should Have Been Number One, not branding it with your own details and then hiding behind a 'we're giving money to charity and are def­in­itely not doing anything with data capture' disclaimer.

BONG!
Also, trying to get Oasis' 'Roll With It' to Number One in an attempt to redress some sort of perceived injustice from twelve years ago is wrong because everyone knows 'Country House' was actually better.

BONG!
Although 'Country House' probably only won in 1995 because it was issued on two CD singles, while Oasis only released one CD. Still — wow! — let's 'see justice' for 'Roll With It' by hyping it to Number One, right kids? WHAT??!? 

THOSE HEADLINES IN BRIEF…
Would-be scammers! You are not the only people in the world to have realised that the chart rules have changed. Amazing as it may seem, people at record companies promoting new releases have also got wind of these new reg­u­la­tions. They are selling downloads too. The only point you can possibly prove by any of this is that fans of the music you're trying to hype into the chart are sus­cept­ible, idiotic sheep who'll do whatever they're told. (Oasis for Number One this Sunday, then, etc etc etc.)

Here Is The News

BONG!
Good news: Nelly Furtado's first single in the UK has changed — it will now be… Ta-da! 'Maneater'.

BONG!
The new Pet Shop Boys single, 'I'm With Stupid', was played yesterday on Swedish radio. Someone's put it on the internet — click here for a listen. (Or go here, click '22.10–23.00' and wait for about 19 minutes.) Lyrics are here.

BONG!
Something new featuring Christina Aguilera's voice has surfaced on the web. Everyone is going 'mad for it' and it sounds alright* but if this leads to the usual parade of useless buffoons going "oh this means Christina is deffo better than Britney" then a minor pop injustice will have taken place. Have a listen at link removed — we've had our first 'cease and desist'!

BONG!
We forgot to mention that we got The Modern to do us another bit of writing about how to save pop or something or other. They've been dis­qual­i­fied from the charts this week so click here to read it out of sympathy.

AND FINALLY…
Alexis Strum's new single was supposed to be out this week but Mercury have pulled it 'for some reason', although  this is appar­ently due to some 'good news'. We do not know what this good news is yet because our emails to Strumcentral keep bouncing.

* To be fair, this is the website whose first reaction to 'Crazy In Love' was "it goes on a bit"