A couple of weeks ago we talked you all through the Sam Bailey album artwork.
The issue, really, was nothing to do with Sam herself – you win The X Factor, you turn up at the recording studio when you’re told to and the rest is in someone else’s hands. Instead, it was about the care and attention that goes into this particular X Factor winner’s career.
Anyway, we asked you if you could do better and below you’ll find the sleeves you submitted. The submissions fall into nine distinct categories but brace yourselves, because some of what follows is pretty alarming.
Category 1: BEYONCALIKES
Category 2: A HINT OF GAGA
Category 3: SHE USED TO WORK IN A PRISON YOU KNOW
Category 4: HOW ABOUT WE MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE ELSE’S ALBUM
Tom McNab. (“After flipping it, I rotated her head to a not-so-tilty fashion and was beginning to get Madonna vibes, so I thought how amazingly shit would it look if I was to completely rip-off the Something To Remember artwork..?”)
Category 5: CLEVER WORDPLAY
Neil Claxton. (“Just to explain, Sam’s surname is almost the same as a popular brand of housewive’s ruin which her core fan base will relate to so I thought the artwork could reflect that. My proposed album title is sort of eponymous if you don’t look eponymous up in the dictionary. My choice of typeface, the font from Star Wars, is to emphasis Sam is a STAR herself.”)
Michael Ellard. (“Thanks for giving me a reason to not go outside and talk to people. Total godsend. As requested, I’ve rebranded her.”)
Category 6: ACTUALLY MAKING AN EFFORT AT TRYING TO SALVAGE THIS WHOLE THING
Andreas Stahl. (“I’ll see if I can give this a complete overhaul at some point. For now: I put a little more makeup on her and made it a smidgen classier. Both are similar, one is more gran-friendly and one is more modern.”)
Tom Ashlee. (“Can’t go wrong with a bit of symmetry.”)
Bradley. (“Her artwork might aswell have comic sans on it, it’s that bad and I thought Nicholas McDonald’s was bad, god damn. At first I made the cover with the title “Power Of Love” and it looked so much prettier but I realised the title was wrong so i rejigged it.”)
David Ramsay. (“Sam Bailey is a Strong woman with a Strong voice and her album is called The Power of Love, I thought it appropriate that instead of collapsing on an invisible table, she should be doing pull-ups. I thought the text could do with being bigger, bolder, and more conspicuous too.”)
Mark Wilson. (“I wanted to spend longer on this but works been a bit much this week, I made this during a work conference call – its just made up purely of lots and lots of the cover image layered on top of each other, theres nothing else in there.”)
William Gremliza. (“Well, lunch was terribly boring today… Though apparently now sam looks like she’s selling shampoo in the seventies, she could do much worse.”)
Daibhid MacCann. (“I thought I’d go for something in between Kelis and Disclosure. You’re welcome, SYCO.”)
Felipe Garzon. (“Sending some design love to Sam all the way from Rio, Brazil!”)
King Leo. (“I saw the abomination that was her artwork for the album and I almost shed a tear, almost. I’m not saying my rendition is better, but I’m also not saying it’s not. Anyway, here it is. I think it would look better as a Christmas single with a Santa hat on, but I held myself and tried to make it semi decent.”)
Category 7: A LITTLE BIT OF SATIRE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
Berrie van der Molen.
Dan Carne. (“I think you’ll find this scary and arousing all at the same time. Here’s to hoping that’s a new sensation for you.”
Category 8: BLOODY HELL
Steven Bayliss. (“She should change her name like Harry Webb or Reg Dwight to something edgy & snazzy. Play on her past a bit, the 3 things people know about her are; she has kids, she was a prison officer & she doesn’t mind being upstaged by pussycat dolls. Well I’m happy with it anyway.”)
Samantha Sheldon. (“This masterpiece took a whole 20 minutes, I’m not even kidding.”)
James Rawson. (“Much attached.”)
Ben Marper. (“This literally took like 2 minutes, apologies for the shiteness of it, but your website is class so thought might as well give it a go, it’d make me mum proud (she’s not sam bailey).”)
Category 9: CLUTCHING AT STRAWS
Mark de Jong.
Dylan Patel. (“I have no idea what was going through my head, but I’m about to get on a flight so THIS WILL BLOODY WELL HAVE TO DO.”)
Rebecca Heffron. (“I felt it needed more danger and emotional blackmail.”)
Hugo Corkey. (“I ran out of energy and the writing’s off centre etc but i still think it’s better than the official… Figured I should send it since i spent 5 precious minutes of my time and don’t know who the lady is.”)
Alex Giguere. (“The black and white gives it a classic sort of feel, like an Adele or Emeli Sande cover that will be sure to WOW on Mothers Day. I was also considering using “Wingdings” as a font, but I felt the handwritten text was a better choice, certainly more suitable than times fucking new roman.”)
Josh M. (“Here she is climbing the ladder to success. I also reduced her name as it is a lot to remember.”)
BUT THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE WINNER
And that winner is:
Congratulations, Pat Scullion, for designing the winning S.Ba album sleeve. We will be in touch to discuss the delivery of your prize. (We still don’t know what it will be.)
And thanks everyone for sending in their efforts.
(Thanks to some more than others.)