The Saturdays – ‘Turn Myself In’

There are two types of people in this world: those who listen to Saturdays b-sides, and those who do not.

This particular Saturdays b-side sounds a bit like someone spent half a day trying to copy 'The Edge Of Glory' then gave up, but it is definitely better than you would expect a Saturdays b-side to be.

It opens with the emotional line "I was standing by the bar, on a table".

Not dancing on a table, like people do when they're having fun 'in the club'. Not even dancing on the bar, dancing on the bar. Just standing on a table by the bar. Standing there. People walk past on their way to get a drink. "Why are you standing on the table?" they say. "I do not know," is the answer. "All I know is that I am standing here." It's like a Radiohead video. Hours pass. And still, there she is. Standing on the table. She has forgotten what it is like not to be standing on a table. "I think I will stay here," she thinks.