Semi-successful boyband One Direction have a new book coming out.

You’ll find the cover for it above, coincidentally.

The ‘memoir’ is called ‘Where We Are, Our Band, Our Story’ and will be available to purchase just in time for Christmas.

There’s quite a lengthy blurb so brace yourselves:

“This is the only official book from 1D, charting their journey over the last year and a half – from the places they’ve visited and fans they’ve met, to their thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams, highs and lows. It has been a phenomenal year – and this is a phenomenal story. This Christmas, there will be no other book that true One Direction fans will want! They’ve won dozens of awards. They’ve had a bigger US debut than the Beatles. They’ve played Madison Square Garden, the Royal Variety Show, and sold-out venues across the globe. One Direction – just five young guys from small British towns – has truly gone global. Now the lives of Louis, Liam, Harry, Zayn and Niall are changing beyond recognition. This year, with their own movie hitting theatres and a 133-date tour stretching across the globe, the 1D star is shining brighter than ever.”

So there you have it.

Rather than just send out an email with a nice picture and the dates, journalists were sent an invite last week asking them to traipse all the way to Wembley for a press conference.

Expecting something quite glamorous – I mean, look at that sparkly invite – involving a nice buffet, I agreed to go.

Anyway, here’s what I learned:

One Direction fans are quite dramatic

Having got a bit lost by walking the wrong way round the stadium, I eventually found the correct entrance and made my way towards the reception. Outside the big glass doors a glum-looking bloke was stood waiting for a group of girls – each with 1D scrawled on their faces – and their mum who had assembled menacingly around the check-in table bit. I couldn’t make out what was happening but as I got closer they were ‘asked to leave’ prompting one of the girls to yell: “you’re crushing our dreams! Stop crushing our dreams”. As we climbed the escalator I took this picture just before their mum told them off.

Press conferences aren’t that glamorous to be honest

I’ve never really been to a pop press conference before, so my expectations were quite high. Surely they’d hold it on the hallowed turf of Wembley I thought? A scene of so many amazing moments, chiefly Take That’s Progress tour. Surely I’d end up playing a game of football with Niall, and perhaps get the chance to discuss some lyric ideas for the new album with the band’s foremost pensmith? Being greeted by this fairly rudimental sign upon arrival dispelled any hopes I had of it being anything other than on a par with a NatWest conference I went to when I worked there after Uni. This was our journey to the conference room. Amazing.

Niall is clearly being positioned much more clearly as someone who does something in the band

After taking pictures of some members of the band looking at the Wembley pitch and enjoying some orange juice, we were lead down a slightly grimy corridor to the conference room. It was here that we saw the title of the tour, which sort of meant the whole ‘secret’ announcement thing was ‘out there’ before the ‘boys’ had even stepped out to start talking. When they finally did, the ‘compere’ immediately told us that it would be Niall – a man who had seemingly not been near a microphone on their first album – who would make the announcement. Which he did. So well in fact that Louis was prompted to ask him where he’d learned all these new words. He was also positioned at the centre of the group, which is sort of interesting. As you can see from the pic above, it went Liam, Zayn, Niall, Harry and Louis, meaning the triangle of interest in the centre is still in tact. Which brings us to…

Liam is definitely the new Gary Barlow

Whenever a question needed a mature (boring) response or something that towed a specific PR line, everyone looked at Liam (it was Liam who used the words “edgier” and “rockier” when the new album was mentioned). Every ‘joke’ he tried to make fell a bit flat and there was an amazing moment when he was asked about going to Argentina or somewhere amazing and he replied with a lot of guff and then, “I hope the weather’s warm” before unleashing an amusing Alan Partridge-esque laugh, which was followed by the mocking laughs of the rest of the band. Obviously having to answer boring questions with exciting answers can be difficult, but it was noticeable how being funny and just sort of relaxed in that environment was made to seem like quite a chore. Much like when Gary does that annoying arm thing when he’s trying to ‘rouse’ the X Factor crowd.

Zayn is basically mute

Zayn may sing like a lark and dance like a moody teenager, but he is seemingly mute. Not a single word passed his lips during the thirty or so minutes they were sat in front of us. Yes his hair looked beautiful and his coat was nice, but it would have been good to hear his views on what he wants to do when they’re in Brazil or what soap character they most feel an affinity to (thanks The Sun).

And then everyone left. See.

The ‘Na Na Na’ hitmakers will take their Where We Are tour to various spots around the world in 2014, with the whole thing ‘kicking off’ in Latin America before coming over to us lucky Brits.

The tour will be a completely different show featuring a brand new selection of songs, which is always good to know.

Speaking about their new album, the words “rockier” and “edgier” were thrown around so make of that what you will.

Here’s a picture of the ‘lads’ discussing said plans.

Tickets for the UK shows go on sale Saturday 25, so set an alarm, mark that calendar etc. etc.

“I haven’t done any songs on this one,” he conformed to MTV. “I’ve actually kind of cut myself from giving any people songs at the moment, because I want to make my album.”

But were you approached, Ed?

“I was approached, and it wasn’t so much a ‘No,’ it was just a ‘I want to write tunes for myself at the moment.’”

Such a shame we’re sure you’ll agree.

“Once my album’s done, then we’ll see,” he added. “But their album is already finished.”

Apparently there won’t be an album to accompany the film, which is out in August, so expect this new one to be released in time for Christmas.

Basically fans can register here and then all they need to do is perform three “social actions” – ranging from signing petitions, to raising money, to emailing senators about diseases such as Polio – and in exchange they get two ‘gig’ tickets to see any of the people taking part.

Social media is involved somehow too, obviously.

“We are thrilled to be part of the Global Citizen campaign – a brilliant way to reward fantastic volunteers fighting against global poverty,” One Direction told a press release. “We can’t wait to see some ‘global citizens’ at our shows!”

So there we have it.

Having a chat to – YOU KNOW IT – the Daily Star, the band’s charismatic lead vocalist Louis Tomlinson confirmed it all using the following words: “We’ve already started recording the album, we started about a month ago.”

“We’ve been writing and recording it while on tour. We are really happy with it,” he continued.

But when will it be out, Louis?

“We don’t want to rush it but it will be out for Christmas.”

Excellent news.

Clearly Louis’ insights weren’t enough as the paper also asked a ‘source’ ‘close to the band’ for some extra information.

“There was talk about the boys taking some time off before the next album but it was decided to release the record while they are so popular,” he or she explained.

“The band are going from strength to strength so it would be silly not to have an album out in time for the profitable Christmas market.”

Still, it would be good if it had more than two good singles on it.

Other artists to receive nominations include oft-ignored chanteuse Rihanna with ten, Carly Rae Jepsen with nine, One Direction with eight and Nicki Minaj with seven.

To be honest there are loads more but it’s just a really long list and it’s probably easier if you head over here to see who’s up for what and why etc.

The awards will be handed out on May 19 in Las Vegas and there will be performances from the likes of Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber, so that’s nice.

One Direction’s new film – sorry, “motion picture event” – This Is Us now has a poster to go with it.

We’ve buried it somewhere in this post, so good luck trying to find it.

The Morgan Spurlock-directed opus is out in the UK on August 29 and will of course be in 3D.

“It hasn’t got a title at the moment but we wrote the song with Niall,” he explained to BBC Newsbeat. ”He’s got some good ideas so had a lot of input.”

He also went on to say that he hoped the song would appear on a future One Direction album, but didn’t go into specifics.

“They are smart guys. They know what they’re doing,” he continued. “They play to arenas and stadiums around the world. So I think it’s a bit of a challenge to come up with some songs to go with that.”

He also talked briefly about the next McFly album which controversially will be “very pop but still very guitar driven”.

Having a chat with The Sun, the ‘When Dreams Turn To Dust’ chanteuse said: “It will be expected that they will write their own songs at some point. Someone is going to say, ‘Hang on, the royalties coming in from just singing are not enough’.”

Seems fair enough.

But our Cathy has some harsh words for the possible penmanship of Niall and co.

“But if 1D started writing their own songs it could be the kiss of death, let’s face it. I am not going to advocate that,” she mused. “I would not expect them to come out with anything amazing.”

Oh.