Talking to BBC Newsbeat about the fact that the properly awful ‘Live It Up’ entered the chart at Number 11 on Sunday, she explained: “I said I don’t know if it will even get in to the top ten.”

Well, that’s lucky isn’t it.

“With that single it was strategic to sell the album. I’m not trying to get a number one with this one,” she went on. “I know it’s urban. I know that it’s probably not going to chart high. I want to show a different side to the album.”

‘The shit side’, presumably.

With perfect timing, she also ‘revealed’ that she’d been chatting to Dappy about a possible N-Dubz reunion.

“Yesterday I met up with Dappy,” she continued. “We have been chilling out together and the three of us are in talks about setting a date to reunite.”

Mind you, Fazer’s not exactly sure about it all.

“We [he and Dappy] had a funny conversation over the weekend, you never know. An N-Dubz reunion may be in a year’s time or two. Not that long, it’s not an Oasis type split.”

Mark your diaries.

Digital Spy reports that the self-styled ‘TOTES AMAZE ESSEX DUO’ will be releasing their debut single on August 13, and it’s a cover of the old house song ‘Turn Me Out’. Despite the misleading title, it’s not a guide to the correct insertion of a Scholl inner sole.

The ‘Shoes’ expressed their enthusiasm about the forthcoming single campaign on Twitter as follows:

“OMG GUYS! We cannot wait for you to see our video for our debut single – Turn Me on (Turn Me Out) it is…………..TOTES AMAZE!!!!”

If you can’t wait until the single’s official premiere – you’re only human after all – here’s a ropey YouTube clip of 2 Shoes performing it in Liverpool earlier this month.

Of course, who could forget their ‘inimitable take’ on ‘TiK ToK’ at Judges’ Houses?

Last night, Tulisa suggested that Dappy’s departure was the reason for the sad demise of N-Dubz pointing out that “dappy left ndubz,that’s y we split”.

She went on to reveal that despite Dappy telling the press that he dearly misses his former bandmates he “got a new num[ber] n I aint heard from him since, he aint called or made contact”.

Alarmingly, Tulisa also announced that “I will kill 4 him n he knows it”, but then tweeted @TheDappy directly to issue him an ultimatum.

“Pick ya balls up n call me,” she demanded before asking him round for a sleep over, saying “I got a new place,cum stay,but dont b an ass on twitter.”

He listed his dream duets to MTV as “people like Muse, Adam Levine from Maroon 5 or Sting from The Police - something crazy”.

Having already appeared on tracks with “the best of the UK” Chipmunk and Tinchy Styrder, Fazer is looking to do something out of the ordinary on his own record that “showcases my talent, not just as a rapper but as an artist and an all round musician”.

All three N-Dubz members plan to release solo albums this year with Dappy’s due in April and Tulisa’s currently being recorded in LA.

Let’s hope they don’t all feature fucking Sting.

He told Now magazine: “With them two being a couple and me finding out about it properly, it didn’t feel like N-Dubz any more.”

Dappy said he wasn’t comfortable playing the awkward third wheel to his cousin and his best friend.

The ‘Papa Can You Hear Me?’ hitmaker also confirmed that he no longer speaks to Tulisa, admitting: “It’s easier for her not to talk to me because I’m a bag of stress. [But] I’d love to be able to hold her, cuddle her and give her a kiss again.”

Adele and Taylor Swift won three awards each at the American Music Awards yesterday. (Contactmusic) Like a child trapped in his parent’s messy divorce settlement, Pitbull performed with both Jennifer Lopez and her ex-husband Marc Anthony. Maybe next time Marc will find it easier just to take him to the zoo.

Cher Lloyd has given the details of how to get presale tickets for her tour next year. (Twitter)

Here is a video of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy whipping their hair to Willow Smith’s ‘Whip My Hair’. (YouTube) So twelve months ago.

Fazer from N-Dubz wants Rihanna, Phil Collins and Sting for his solo album. (The Mirror)

Scissor Sisters will be performing next year at the Hard Rock Café in Bali. (!?) (Bali Discovery)

will.i.am has been speaking about how he got the dream combination of Jennifer Lopez and Mick Jagger on his new single ‘T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)’. (Rolling Stone)

The superstar at the forefront of everyone’s minds, Daddy Yankee, caused his concert promoter’s eyes to bleed from stress. (Ace Showbiz)

A demo of Ke$ha’s new song ‘U Better Know’ appeared online over the weekend. (andpop)

And finally, Aston from JLS has had an awful tattoo of his hometown cathedral drawn on his arm. (Peterborough Today) An official spokesman for Peterborough Cathedral stated “While we do not encourage mass cathedral tattooing, we are so very very proud that he has illustrated us in this way”. God help us if there’s a war.

THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.

Where to start?

Well the fact that it’s just a solo Dappy photo and an X Factor promo shot with some spare shot of Fazer chucked on the end seems like a fairly good point. Were there no suitable group shots anywhere? And if not, was there no better way around it than this?

Perhaps it doesn’t matter what a Greatest Hits artwork looks like.

Perhaps it is all about the music.

Perhaps it could be argued that  just this sort of rough-around-the-edges ‘charm’ is one of the things that made N-Dubz so popular in the first place and that a decent group shot might have somehow ruined their image.

Perhaps making Tulisa’s cleavage the star of the show, with that crappy ‘X Factor wind tunnel’ light effect as a backdrop, is the right way of flogging albums.

Perhaps nobody responsible for getting this on shelves in time for the Christmas rush really cares that much about the band’s fans.

Perhaps everyone just went ‘that will do’.

That will do.

THAT WILL DO.

…is actually the artwork for N-Dubz‘ greatest hits album?

It is the artwork Amazon are using, which suggests that it must be real, but on the other hand the band’s label wouldn’t really need to resort to a dodgy comp job using one of Tulisa’s X Factor promo shots, would they? WOULD THEY? Please tell us they wouldn’t.

Apparently, Tulisa’s involvement in this year’s X Factor and the resulting exposure has stirred up tension in the band and according to The Sun Dappy is not a happy chappy.

Having previously dismissed the show as a way for people to ‘cheat’ their way into the music industry, Tulisa’s u-turn has driven Dappy to approach Tinchy Stryder’s management company with plans to launch a solo career.

“Dappy is livid about the whole situation,” a well place source revealed. “Tulisa has a new passion now – and that’s not what they got into the business for. He has thrown himself into his solo career because, as far as he is concerned, N-Dubz is all but over.”

In response to the unrest, Fazer is allegedly looking into becoming a producer and Tulisa is also planning to launch a solo career after X Factor filming wraps. “There have already been talks of arena tours for her in 2012 and a promo strategy,” added the mystery source.

A spokesman for N-Dubz says: “The band will continue despite solo projects. They have gigs throughout 2011 and plans are in place for another single and album. The band are definitely not splitting up.”