Harris’ slow-burn success ’18 Months’ album and Sandé’s cruelly-ignored ‘Our Version Of Events’ are both competing for the £20,000 prize alongside Popjustice favourites Django Django and Konrad Wiszniewski & Euan Stevenson.

Apparently on May 27 the longlist of twenty albums will be whittled down to ten by a mixture of public vote and a panel of judges, before the winner is announced on June 20.

So there we have it.

“We got a shot down us and it was all right after that,” mused Olly to – YOU KNOW IT! – the Daily Star Playlist.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t gutted I lost,” he continued, suddenly sadface. “It was my first year where I genuinely thought I was going to win.”

He also sort of agreed with his mate Robbie Williams who branded the award show boring in that song of his.

“He’s got a massive point. I’m the last person to be controversial. I’ve never been someone to cause trouble with other artists, so I’m probably one of the people who Rob’s talking about who’s a little bit boring, but I’m his mate.”

“People don’t get into bother at the Brits any more because it’s less hassle to enjoy the night,” he continued.

That’s the spirit, Olly.

The ‘Breath Of Life’ hitmaker won the award for Best Solo Artist (despite sort of being part of a band) and accepted the award for Best Dancefloor Anthem for ‘Sweet Nothing’, which of course is a collaboration with struggling producer Calvin Harris.

Other winners on the night included boyband The Rolling Stones, The Killers and Popjustice favourites Palma Violets, who were quite rightfully named Best New Band.

You can see the full list of winners here.

WELL DONE NICOLE.

In a chat in the new issue of Notion magazine, she said: “I passed on ‘We Found Love’.”

Let’s just take a moment to allow that to properly sink in.

“I’ve got the demo of that song and I was busy at the time. They’d sent me a few dance tracks and I wasn’t able to get to them and I was like ‘oh there’s so much dance and I want to take a break from it’,” she continued. “That was my fault. I slept on it.”

To be clear, while Global Songstress Leona Lewis had the song cruelly snatched away from her, Nicole just couldn’t be bothered to do it because there was too much dance music around at that time.

‘Amazing’.

She also goes on to say that she also turned down Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’ and while in The Pussycat Dolls they said no thanks to Lady Gaga’s ‘Just Dance’.

Again: ‘amazing’.

The new issue of Notion is out now.

The ‘Michael Jackson’ producer will play some songs at Hakkasan Las Vegas, which is due to open at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino.

Calvo’s residency will start from the beginning of April and will see him perform 46 dates. There will also be some sort of daytime residency at a place called WET REPUBLIC Ultra Pool (!), also at the MGM Grand, which will be for 22 dates.

Apparently he announced all this at the Roc Nation Brits party last night but we weren’t invited to that one so what can you do.

The ‘I’m Lovin’ It’ hitmaker will sing some songs on stage on Friday July 12, while ‘Jay’ will follow him on the Saturday.

Joining Justin on the Friday will be Miguel, Snoop Dogg, John Legend and of course, Frank Ocean, while Jay-Z gets – OF COURSE – Emeli Sandé, Rita Ora, DJ Fresh and Calvin Harris for company.

It all takes place at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park and tickets go on sale on February 22.

There’s more information on it all here.

It’s a welcome accolade for this niche songsmith, long overlooked for his subtle, anti-commercial production style.

In 2012, his nuanced work on ‘Call My Name’ and the ‘We Found Love’ found a modest audience – as did the barely-there vocal strains of Florence Welch in ‘Sweet Nothing’.

Music News compiled the list, as quoted here  – at number two came the brazenly publicity-hungry Sia, while the notoriously zany fun. are at number three. Carl Falk and Rami Yacoub are at number 4, being the producers responsible for the rarely-heard ‘Starships’ and ‘Live While We’re Young, while hellraisers Coldplay are at number 5.

Having spent five weeks in the Top 3 and ‘shifted’ over 400,000 copies the song ‘topples’ James Arthur’s ‘Impossible’ from the summit.

“I’m ecstatic that ‘Scream And Shout’ has been so well received in the UK,” ‘Britney’ told the Official Charts Company. “will.i.am is one of my favorite people to collaborate with and I’m just so happy that people really love the song.”

In other chart news, Taylor Swift’s ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ edges up to Number 2, Rihanna’s ‘Stay’ climbs to Number 4 and Calvin Harris and Tinie Tempah’s ‘Drinking From The Bottle’ leaps ten places to Number 5. This now means Calvin’s had seven Top Ten singles from his album ’18 Months’, which ties the record for most Top Ten singles from one album with Michael Jackson’s ‘Dangerous’.

On the album chart, cruelly ignored singer of song Emeli Sandé’s back at Number One with ‘Our Version Of Events’. The album’s been there for the past thirteen years.

You can see the full charts here and here.

We went to the Brits launch at London’s Savoy Hotel last night. We took a few pictures but they’re not very good.

Here’s ‘Tom Odell’ playing a song best described as ‘shall we go to the pub’.

Odo was there to collect his Critics’ Choice award. When asked by host Nick Grimshaw for a few words he said that he hadn’t prepared a speech and went on to say not much at all, which we found infuriating because a) he’d had weeks to prepare a speech, even if he delivered it as if it hadn’t been prepared, and b) even if there’s no speech, if a new popstar can’t say something spontaneous and interesting about winning an award then GOD HELP US ALL. But he did have beautiful silky hair.

Here’s Nick Grimshaw interviewing Emzelig Sandé. She had nothing of any interest to say about the Brits or anything else but, you know, nice girl and all that.

At the end of the thing, Jessie Ware came on and did a song, which as you might expect was jolly good.

Also, at one point, Paloma Faith came and sat on the floor in front of us.

Anyway that is not what we are here today to discuss.

Today we would like to put forward our proposal for the greatest Brits performance of all time. As you may have heard, a number of the ceremony’s live performers were confirmed last night, with Muse, Robbie Williams, Emeli Sandé (NO REALLY), Mumford and Sons, Ben Howard and One Direction all booked to sing a song or two. It was noted that there were three slots still to announce.

We would like to propose that one of the slots is a medley. Everyone likes a medley.

But who would perform this medley? Well, one of the things you might have noticed from the list is that Florence ‘+’ The Machine, who pulled off such a great performance last year, is/are absent from the performers list. Tinie Tempah wasn’t eligible for this year’s shortlists, but he’s a great British artist and his presence at the ceremony would be excellent as well. And what about an international artist – someone like Rihanna for instance? Finally, it’s fair enough that Girls Aloud aren’t nominated, but Cheryl Cole’s big comeback single was the fastest-selling single of the year when it came out in June. (Also it was really good.)

We think you can probably guess where we’re going with this.

Now you might already be thinking, ‘hang on didn’t Popjustice demand something similar regarding David Guetta this time last year?’ and yes, you’d be right, but at the same time yes WE were right as well because that would have been amazing, and so will The Calvin Harris All-Star Arms-Aloft Brits-A-Go-Go Non-Stop Disco Marathon be.

Here is how it will work.

OPENER: Florence ‘+’ The Machine appear. It’s just Florence ‘+’ The Machine doing the boring album version of ‘Spectrum’. Just as it gets to the chorus and everyone is about to turn off their televisions, Calvin Harris descends from the ceiling in some sort of spaceship with decks in it. ‘Spectrum’ explodes into the proper version. Everyone goes beserk.

NEXT: Cheryl not so much swan-dives onto the set as is fired out of a cannon from the other end of the arena, over the heads of assembled guests. She lands on the stage (or is caught in a big net) and does a bit of ‘Call My Name’.

AND: Just as Cheryl is about to do the end of the chorus, her vocals drop out and Tinie Tempah bellows “SAY MY NAME BABEH”, which takes us into ‘Drinking From The Bottle’. Tinie performs this inside a large champagne bottle last seen by Brits audiences between the legs of Cat Deeley.

THEN: Example speeds onto the stage IN A CAR, screeches to a halt at the very front of the stage, jumps out and does ‘We’ll Be Coming Back’. Everyone is still going beserk at this point. Calvin is waving his arms around.

FOLLOWED BY: The first notes of ’Let’s Go’ are heard. Is Ne-Yo in the house?! No, he had other commitments, but Conor Maynard is here to do a verse and chorus of the song instead. It’s an epic climax to Calvin’s set. Silence falls. It’s the end of the performance. Everyone in the place is still going mental.

BUT THERE’S MORE: BANG! Rihanna’s on stage doing ‘Where Have You Been?’. Nobody even knew she was in the country! Is it definitely her? It’s definitely her! Jesus Christ! Etc.

OH BLIMEY THERE’S EVEN MORE: To cap off the most exciting musical event anybody has ever seen and with TV cameras trying to avoid catching a glimpse of paramedics treating music industry bigwigs for SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT, Florence returns to the stage and closes the whole magnificent shebang with ‘Sweet Nothing’. Glitter cannons, ticker tape, people flying around on wires, the works.

THE END. ALL OTHER MUSIC IS CANCELLED, FOREVER. 

Now we think will agree, ladies and gentlemen, that what we have proposed here today would probably be quite good to watch on the television. Will it happen? Watch this space! (No.)