1) So do people not really send you letters then, or is it just that the quality of letters received is shit?

2) If a shiny new MP3 costs less than a quid, which is half what a single cost 10 years ago and a quarter of what it cost 20 years ago, does that not go some way to explaining all this bland-pop/authenticity business going around at the moment? I mean, I could sort of imagine myself as a stupid 16 year old possibly hearing something like Ed Sheeran and thinking “ooh that’s not too bad, and it’s only a pound” and then changing my mind and deleting it after a week. Half a lifetime later, I think I have higher standards of what I will spend money on based on the fact that music used to be expensive “back in the day.” Surely cheaper music means people buying things that are “just alright” or things that they have “heard good things about.”

I realise the implication of all this is that I am saying that children are buying music irresponsibly and that more affordable music is somehow a bad thing and that it was all different in my day, etc etc and I am suitably appalled by this. However I think this might be one of those uncomfortable truth things. Also, I am sorry about the surplus of quotation marks in this letter.

Come to me
Show me who you are
Sweet to me, like sugar to my heart
I’m craving for you
I’m missing you like candy

You know who you are
Your love’s as sweet as candy
I’ll be forever yours
Love always, Mandy

This last bit is, in my opinion, the best spoken bit of a song that has ever been recorded. It shits all over the Oops I Did It Again spoken bit.

What’s your favourite spoken bit of a song? I can’t think of any more but to be fair I’ve not really tried.

I’m only interested in writing a letter if this badge trumps the ‘Baby On Board’ badge fat women wear on the tube to take my seat.

Will it?

Having had a quick shifty round your little website (which I have deemed ‘quite good’) I’ve noticed that there’s no mention of BASTILLE.

I presume it’s because that you avoid ‘alt’ music as a general rule, as it’s nearly impossible to miss them from their (practically aggresive) social media marketing. Even so, may I direct your attention to their mix tape, which is free to download at otherpeoplesheartache.com, or viewable on the You Tube. Their interpretations of ‘The Rhythm of the Night’, ‘Blue Jeans’ and ‘Adagio for Strings’ on it may be of interest to you.

(They’re also covered ‘Titanium’ and ‘What Would You Do?’ by City High but they’re frankly a bit shit. Still proof that they have a vague sense of humour though.)

As with lots of today’s biggest pop artists, the first few singles are so good they make you question why other artists were even bothering to release singles. But then, their album’s released. And BAM. You don’t want it. Why? Well, in my case, it’s because I’ve already bought the songs that I liked, and no matter how dedicated a fan I am, I’m not prepared to waste my money on the rest. And one artist’s the main culprit. No, not Alex Reid – he’s much too good to release bad tracks. Cheesy beats, auto-tuned to high heavens, a strange video with no other message than “DANCE PARTY!” – what else could you want? I’m talking about Lady GaGa’s album “Born This Way”. I hate to say it, because I actually love Lady GaGa. When “Born This Way”, “Judas”, “The Edge Of Glory” and “Hair” (increasing in amazing in that order) were released, I was expecting a KILLER album. And what did I get? In my opinion – though I’m sure many may disagree – it was a lacklustre attempt at an album, which just came off a bit dated. I know I might be being a bit unfair, but come on – that effectively destroys the point of albums. It was basically the same thing with Rihanna’s “Rated R” – once “Hard”, “Russian Roulette” and “Rude Boy” came out, why would I want the rest of the album? Artists need to spend more time towards making albums that are wonderful with every track. Katy Perry did it, and “Teenage Dream” became one of my favourite albums ever. Even with the crude comparisons with poultry and..body parts. I’m sorry, I just want my 7 or 8.99 to be well-spent.