Popjustice » Interviews & Features http://www.popjustice.com Sun, 21 Dec 2014 10:08:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 2014 in review: October, with Tulisa http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-october-with-tulisa/133182/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-october-with-tulisa/133182/#comments Sun, 21 Dec 2014 10:00:52 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=133182 Tulisa

October 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact The Female Boss, Tulisa? Well let’s find out shall we.

‘Living Without You’ by perfumier and returning popstar Tulisa arrived online in October.

What did you miss most about being a popstar when you had to stop doing it for a bit?
The fact that I was just known as a celebrity. People forgot what I do, they were like ‘what does Tulisa do nowadays?’. I never wanted to necessarily be famous. I wanted to be a musician and be successful and obviously fame is something that comes with it which I’m okay with, but as long as I’m famous for the music. So having that taken away from me, I sort of became just a celebrity. I didn’t like that very much.

Your press release said that you were back but that we, the audience, always knew you would be. Was there a point where you thought you might not bother coming back though?
I never thought I wouldn’t bother, I just thought I might not be able to. (Laughs) I feel like I always tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The second it happened I was ready to retire and then I thought ‘no, I’m not finished yet, I’m going to do it all again’. I’ve spent the whole year hungry to come back.

Which is good to hear because there are some popstars you sense maybe aren’t that hungry for it. 
People get drained when they do it for such a long time. When it happened I’d been doing it for eight years in a row. People forget that with N-Dubz we were famous on the underground scene so we still did all our hard graft then. I think we did 280 shows in one year and I hadn’t stopped really because when we split up I went straight onto X Factor. It was constant. In this industry it’s all about giving your energy and entertaining people and I basically just became drained. Sometimes people just need a break, but not only did I get a break I got a long long break and had it all taken away from me, so I guess that helped bring the hunger back. In that respect I’m glad that it happened.

In other less Tulisa-focused news, in October backpacker Daniela Liverani found an actual three inch leech living up her actual nostril. It had been there for a month without her realising!

How did she not notice? Surely she couldn’t breath? That’s so weird.

When was the last time you found something unexpected in a small crevice?
(Thinks for a bit) I woke up one day a few months ago and you know earwigs, they look like centipedes but with fangs and shit, one of them was crawling along my eyelid. That was pretty horrific. I also had a wasp nest outside my bedroom window and I left my window open one night and I woke up covered in wasps. It was an ongoing battle and I literally went to war with a wasp in my room and my tools consisted of hairspray and a tennis racket.

Hairspray’s a pretty good call actually.
It sort of sticks them to the wall. I don’t like killing bugs but with wasps I’m like ‘hey, you want to sting me, I’m coming for you’. It was self-defence!

Bob The Builder was given a CGI makeover in October, as well as brand new voice.

How good are you at DIY?
I’m actually really good you know. No one’s ever asked me this before.

Can you put up a shelf?
Can I put up a shelf? I built my whole wardrobe room! I’m actually really good with DIY. It’s a bit of an in-joke between me and Gareth [her PA] because we live together and I’m the female in the house but I’m the one who’s really good at DIY. If there’s something that needs building I’ll get my toolbox out and just start building away. I have a proper full set of tools. I can build a wardrobe, a bed, shelves, the lot.

Middling comedian Al Murray objected to some praise he received from Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg during some sort of political conference thing in October.

When was the last time you praised someone and didn’t mean it?
Praised someone and didn’t mean it?

Last Saturday perhaps?
(Laughs) No no no. Come on, that was the final, they all deserved to be there.

Are you quite an honest person?
I’m trying to think. I don’t tend to be nice for the sake of it. That’s my downfall. I struggle with fake conversations.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
When I get that I give the awkward ‘you too’.

A theatre production based on a play by your friend and ours Franz Kafka opened in Japan. One of the main actors was a robot.

If they could invent a robot to replace you and do all the boring stuff popstars have to do, what would you get up to instead?
I would spend all my spare time learning to do the things that I always wanted to do but just don’t have time to. So I’d learn to play the piano and the guitar, I’d learn Greek and I’d become a black belt in karate.

A professional gambler lost a High Court battle in October against a London casino over a disputed £7.7m in winnings, which he claimed he was owed.

When was the last time you went to the bingo?
I’ve actually never been to the bingo. It’s not for any particular reason, I’ve got loads of friends that go and they’re always saying how much fun it is, but I’ve never got round to going. I want to try it.

You could have your own Tulisa dauber or whatever it is?
I could. I plan to do it. It’s on my list of things to do before I die. (Laughs)

Maybe we could organise a sort of fan event where we all just go to the bingo?
Brilliant. There you go.

In his new book, released in October, former Sunderland manager Roy Keane said he realised the team were in trouble when one of the coaches played ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’ before kick-off and no one complained.

What song would you use to get a football team excited about a match etc?
I would pick Kasabian’s… Oh what is the song called? [Sings it for a bit]. It’s one of my favourite songs so I have it on my iPod…

You have a separate iPod?
I have an iPod, yeah. I carry one round with me because I don’t want the songs on my phone. I feel a bit old-school with it. It’s an iPod Classic as well.

They’ve stopped making them now.
Have they? I’ve got an antique. But anyway, the song’s called ‘Club Foot’.

Okay, so you’d play that to get them all roused or whatever it is they need to be before a game.
Yes. Or Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch Up’.

What’s your favourite ABBA song?
It has to be ‘Dancing Queen’.

Would you say it’s a good song to play to footballers before they play football?
No I don’t think so. You need to work them up.

Loads of Pacific walruses who were unable to find sea ice on which to rest in Arctic waters started coming ashore in record numbers in north-west Alaska in October.

But do you have your whiskey on the rocks or without ice?
I have it without ice. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol, I just drink for the feeling, so I find that if I want to feel a bit tipsy the easiest thing for me to do is go for something I have to drink less of to get drunk, so I don’t want it watered down. So no ice for me.

If someone was to buy you a drink in a bar what should they get?
I am a Red Bull and vodka drinker and a wino. Rosé please.

In October a French bank called Groupe BPCE launched a service that allows its customers to use Twitter to send each other money.

If you could tweet a tenner to anyone right now who would it be?
The honest answer has to be somewhere charitable. I guess I’d look at where is in need right now and tweet it there.

If it could only be to a celebrity or musician friend, who would it be?
Niall, just to take the piss. He doesn’t need a tenner. ‘What do you get the boy who has everything?’ I’d tweet him a tenner and tell him to get himself a pint.

Finally in October, North Korea released American Jeffrey Edward Fowle six months after detaining him for leaving a Bible in a hotel.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever left in a hotel room?
Oh God. How honest can I be? [The line goes dead just as she's saying something probably scandalous] Oh, actually, I’ll tell you what, many many years ago an ex-boyfriend bought me a diamond ring and I left it in the hotel room by mistake. He was pretty furious. And it wasn’t insured. Then another boyfriend later brought me another diamond ring and it was a bit big and I wore it out one night and basically it dropped off and I lost it. So I have this thing that if I’m not meant to be with a man I will lose my diamond ring.

Thank you Tulisa for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of October 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: September, with Mollie from The Saturdays http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-september-with-mollie-from-the-saturdays/131616/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-september-with-mollie-from-the-saturdays/131616/#comments Sat, 20 Dec 2014 10:00:08 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131616 Mollie

September 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact the nicest person in pop, Mollie King from The Saturdays? Well let’s find out shall we.

Enduring girlband The Saturdays finished their farewell tour in September.

How was it saying goodbye to all the fans?
(Silence) Oh gosh, we weren’t saying goodbye.

No definitely not. (Laughs) Oh my gosh, we had such a good time. It was just amazing seeing fans their every night. I know it sounds silly but every night we came out of the floor – that was our entrance to the stage – and I was always so shocked that people had come to see us, not just our friends and family. It was like ‘oh – real people’.

Did you ever imagine you’d get to release a Greatest Hits? Not many pop acts get to do that.
It makes me feel really old. I think it’s something you always dream of but to have a Greatest Hits is absolutely surreal. It’s got loads of tracks on it and I can’t believe we’ve had so many singles out, it’s madness.

What’s your favourite Saturdays single?
A tough question! Probably ‘Notorious’. Closely followed by ‘Higher’.

Not that you were asking but ours is ‘All Fired Up’.
Ah I love that one too.

Also in September, a photo of a house for sale in Ipswich was withdrawn by estate agents because it featured a picture of a pig in the living room.

Oh my gosh. Well was the pig alive or dead?

Alive. It was the family pet.
Oh wow, that’s madness. Sorry, so what is the question?

How clean is your house?
Well, I’ll be honest, it’s very clean but not very tidy. I live in an apartment [SHE MEANS FLAT] so I have a room which is like a walk in wardrobe and that’s where everything gets stored and then I shut the door when I have guests over and I pretend that room doesn’t exist.

A US flight was diverted in September after a row broke out between two passengers when one of them reclined her seat in order to give her more room to knit.

If you were to knit each Saturday a little something, what would it be?
(Laughs) I’d probably knit Una and Rochelle’s girls little dresses or something to be honest, because that would take a lot less time than an adult’s sweatshirt. Then I’d probably knit Frankie a little boy’s scarf for her son and then Vanessa, oh God knows. Maybe a nice warm pair of knickers (!). I don’t want to be knitting for days.

According to some spurious research from Cornell University watching action films is likely to make you fat.

What sweets do you have when you go to the cinema?
Oh my God, I’m a salted popcorn addict. Whenever someone says ‘oh let’s share’ I’m like, ‘no I don’t want to share’. You know if you go on a date to the cinema and they try and be romantic and say ‘oh do you want to share a popcorn?’ and I’m like ‘no no, this is going no further’.

Also never trust a guy if he asks you to put your hand in his bucket of popcorn at the cinema.
(Laughs) Exactly. We all know what he’s thinking.

Everyone was chucking water over each other in September, and in an Essex Waitrose the Police got involved after a man stole a bottle of water, a bag of ice and a bucket in to do the ice bucket challenge.

Did you partake?
I did. I actually put a bucket of water over my head and then my friend thought it would be funny to lob her bucket over me so I actually got two buckets covering me. I was positively a drowned rat, which wasn’t a great look.

Is there anyone you’d like to pour boiling water over?
Ooh…Well not that I’m going to tell you about to be honest.

Also in September, inspectors found the body of a lion in a UK restaurant’s freezer, with the owner claiming he was given it by a local zoo to feed his dogs.

What was the last meal you made that people refused to eat?
I’m not really much of a cook. When people come over to mine it’s mostly Marmite on toast to be honest. I’m like ‘come over for dinner, I’ll cook’ and then when they arrive I’m like ‘takeaway?’.

Also if someone’s cooking for you you don’t get to see them much because they’re in the kitchen cooking etc.
This is true. Also you can’t beat a good popadom can you.

U2 gave away their new album, ‘Songs of Innocence’, to all iTunes users in September. Cheers guys!

Have you ever given an unwanted gift?
Yes. It was secret Santa and I totally forgot about it and so I gave Rochelle an egg cup, because I didn’t want it to be honest. I’m not going to be boiling eggs. She looked at me with such disgust. She was like ‘are you actually giving me that?’.

Was it one you brought or were you just given it?
Well, to tell you the truth I actually found it in my mum’s house, but it was one of her best ones. Not a grotty one. I did go to effort of wrapping it in some kitchen roll but she worked out that I’d forgotten about it.

September was the driest since records began in 1910, which is interesting in a way.

Do you think this is proof that global warming is a myth?
Is a myth? (Sighs) I’m going to leave that up to the experts I guess. I’m enjoying the heat while it’s there. I’ll leave that to them.

Also in September, Fulham FC’s departed coach Felix Magath told defender Brede Hangeland to treat his injured knee with cheese soaked in alcohol.

What’s your favourite old wives’ tale?
Oh I don’t know any. I’m really bad with things like that. Give me some examples.

The only one I can remember is ‘Masturbation will make you blind and have hairy palms’.
(Laughs) Oh.

There’s the one about your ears burning when someone’s talking about you.
Oh that’s a good one. I hate that when your ears are actually burning and people say someone’s talking about you and you say ‘no, my ears are actually burning, they’re really warm’.

A service of evensong at Bath Abbey was abandoned in September because the choir was drowned out by a busker outside playing ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’.

What’s Una’s acoustic cover of choice when she’s practising her guitar?
Erm, do you know what she’s always wanted to cover? That Christmas one. The Pogues. I know it’s a bit of a random one, but you have no idea of how long she’s been banging on about covering that.

Finally in September, lots of nude pictures of famous people leaked after someone hacked into iCloud.

Whatever happened to just keeping some polaroids under your bed?
(Laughs) That’s a very good question.

It’s too risky otherwise.
You know sometimes when they’re really hot pics then I do think ‘come on, you’re definitely not minding that being out’.

The worst is when you show someone a picture on your phone and then they suddenly start scrolling through.
Oh my God, I know. That is why I can never do that because you know when you hand your phone over and say ‘these are my pictures from holiday’ and you worry about them scrolling too far. That is why you should never do a sexy pic. I don’t want to put people off their dinner either.

Thank you Mollie King from The Saturdays for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of September 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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The 2014 Popjustice Quiz Of The Year http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-quiz/133041/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-quiz/133041/#comments Fri, 19 Dec 2014 12:00:07 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=133041
  • Fifty questions!

    150 possible answers only fifty of which are correct!!

    Win the chance to share the link to this quiz over social media!!!

    Offer must end soon!!!!

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2014 in review: August, with Sia http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-august-with-sia/131614/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-august-with-sia/131614/#comments Fri, 19 Dec 2014 10:00:56 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131614 Sia

August 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact perpetual wall inspector Sia? Let’s find out shall we.

(These lengthy answers were communicated via the medium of email, just as an ‘FYI’).

In August, Sia’s incredible, globe-straddling single ‘Chandelier’ sold its millionth copy in America.

Did you assume the song’s amazingness would be matched by chart success in the way it has been?
Kind of.

Elsewhere in August, Police officers in California pursued a tortoise in a low-speed chase after it escaped.

Would you, like the average tortoise, like to live for 150 years though?

Passengers on a flight from Brussels to Stockholm weren’t allowed to collect their luggage because the bags had been infested with maggots after someone packed mouldy food.

But why do you think Sweden produces so many amazing popstars and songwriters?
I don’t know why. I’ve never contemplated much on it. I’m too busy thinking about me. Me Me ME!

Also in August, Police raided a village pub in Herefordshire – which is in the UK – searching for a stolen Holy Grail relic only to find it was actually a salad bowl.

Do you think salad is just a bit of a waste of everyone’s time though?
Not according to the Real Housewives. Oh. So yes.

In dodgy research news, Scientists ranked the songs that make people feel most powerful, with 50 Cent’s birthday anthem ‘In Da Club’ finishing in the Top Three.

What song gives you strength?
‘The Macarena’.

In more science news, inventors created sweat-powered batteries that could be used to power heart monitors, digital watches and eventually smartphones.

When was the last time you worked up a proper sweat?
Dance party Monday, my house, every Monday at 10:30am. One invitee. Sia Furler.

You won’t believe this, but the long-held idea that Christopher Columbus and the Europeans brought tuberculosis to the Americas was thrown into doubt in August, with scientists now blaming seals.

What’s your favourite Seal song though?
For reals whose isn’t ‘Kiss From A Rose’? Kissed by a rose? Kiss from the rose? Fuck. The kiss rose song.

Also in August, fans of Dutch football club PSV Eindhoven protested against the introduction of wi-fi at their home ground.

Do you think people are too distracted by the internet these days?
Yes. But I have no judgement around it. I am mad guilty of it.

The 2014 Summer Youth Olympics started in the Chinese city of Nanjing in August.

What were you good at in your school sports day?
Three legged race.

And finally, a man was rescued from the River Thames in London after he’d fallen asleep on a bridge and then fallen in.

When was the last time you woke up somewhere you shouldn’t be?
Story of my early twenties. And mid twenties. And late twenties. And early thirties. Fuck. Sobriety feels so good.

Thank you Sia for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of August 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: July, with Jake from Rixton http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-july-with-jake-from-rixton/131608/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-july-with-jake-from-rixton/131608/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2014 10:00:36 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131608 Rixton

July 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact Jake from instrument-playing boyband Rixton? Let’s find out shall we.

In July popular beat combo Rixton ‘scored’ a UK Number One with their debut single which was released a couple of months after it came out in the US.

Why did you start it all ‘across the pond’ though?
It was mainly because radio’s a huge thing in America and if you get a big song on the radio over there you can kind of just watch it climb and climb, whereas over here you can release a song a within a week it can be Number One. Over there you need as much time as possible. We wanted to get it all geared up.

How did you celebrate the Number One in the UK?
We were backstage in Liverpool and we just had a few bottles of champagne. But it went terribly wrong because Louis popped the cork too quick before the Number One was announced. So they were like ‘this week’s Number One is…’ and it just went ‘pop’ and we didn’t hear them say it was us. Embarrassing.

Does Louis suffer from that problem a lot?
Oh all the time, yeah. No actually he doesn’t. I think his girlfriend would say something different.

Rob Thomas must have been happy with the sales figures too of course.
Yeah I bet he is. He’s probably really happy about it sitting on his yacht. (Laughs) No we spoke to Rob when the song first came around and he’s very close with Benny [Blanco], our producer, so we just got the okay from him. He’s probably loving life right now.

Also in the month of July, a man who’d dropped his mobile phone into a grain pit at his farm in Oklahoma was reunited with it nine months later. It had turned up in Japan.

Mental! That is crazy. Is that true though?

Yes of course. Have you ever turned up somewhere you shouldn’t have been?
I have actually. We did the Capital Ball and I walked down the wrong corridor and it was Pharrell’s corridor and I was like ‘oh all these people here for us’ and they just said ‘you can’t walk this way’ I ended up getting trapped in the corner.

So basically he had his own corridor?
Dude, he has his own corridor and army of people. Insane.

Madonna, the pop singer, was let off jury duty in July because her fame was too distracting.

When was the last time you were distracted by someone more famous than yourself?
Oh we were at a party in America around Scooter {Braun]’s house and it was just us and Tom Hanks, which was strange. We played this murder mystery game and you had to convince people you weren’t the town murderer or whatever, and I just had Tom Hanks all evening convincing me he wasn’t a murderer. The whole time in my head I’m thinking ‘I reckon it’s him but because it’s Tom Hanks I don’t want to put him on the spot’.

Have you ever been recognised in Tesco?
In Tesco? No, but my mum has. Someone went up to my mum and my mum was like ‘oh here we go again’ and they said ‘are you Jake from Rixton’s mum?’. That was in Tesco in Manchester.

Two reporters from a Brighton newspaper were taken to hospital after they each had a bite of the XXX Hot Chilli Burger, which contains a sauce made in India reportedly using about 5,000 kilos of piri piri chilis concentrated into one kilo.

How hot do you have your Nando’s though?
Hot. I have hot. Sometimes I go for medium, but if I’m feeling adventurous I just whack it up to hot.

What’s the standard Jake from Rixton Nando’s order?
(Immediately) Double chicken breast fillet wrap. Peri chips. Coleslaw. Haloumi. And then a drink, obviously.

That’s a lot.
That is a lot. I don’t know why I’ve just admitted that.

Also in July, long-forgotten vials of smallpox that had been left in a cardboard box were discovered by a government scientist near Washington DC.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever found in a box?
(Laughs) Oh my God, I don’t know! Actually at my friend’s old place he caught a mouse in a box and I didn’t know and when I went to move the box there was just this mouse at the bottom. Still alive. I’d just come round and I was in the kitchen and thought I’d look in the box and there it was, trying to jump out.

Do you want to hear a disgusting story about a rat?

A friend of Popjustice had a rat in their kitchen and so the man came round and put that sticky stuff down, but basically the rat got stuck on it and they tried to sort of yank the rat off it and two of its legs came off! Then they let it free!
There is a rat roaming London right now with two legs! Just on its two back legs, wandering around. That’s mental.

The body of a great white shark washed up on an Australian beach in July, having apparently choked on a sea lion.

When was the last time you got something stuck in your throat?
Hey cheeky! Erm, it’s always popcorn. You know when you go to the cinema and there’s a tiny bit that gets lodged at the back of your throat and you’re not exactly choking but it feels like you are.

An inventor in Vermont started selling a machine that prints selfies on toast in July. A slice of toast with your face on costs £44!

If you could have a selfie printed on anything, what would it be?
Someone else’s face. My face on their face.

Whose face would you like to be on?
I’d like to print myself on Bradley Cooper. He’s too good looking, tone it down a bit mate.

And your face would make that happen.
Oh what are you trying to say? Yeah just whack my face on his face.

Fabien Cousteau and his two crew members resurfaced after 31 days living underwater and collecting scientific data, also in July.

Like Busted, do you believe that in the year 3000 the world will be living underwater?
They’re McBusted now aren’t they? Wow. But no. That would be cool to think about but I won’t be here. Also we’d all just drown though and we couldn’t live underwater so I don’t know what they’re on about.

If Rixton could form a supergroup with another… Hang on, are you a boyband?
More of a band, but yeah.

So if you were to form a supergroup with another boyband, who would you choose?
I don’t know. Probably like One Republic or Maroon 5.


In soccer news, Germany defeated Brazil 7 points to 1 to go through to the final of the World Cup.

Have you ever underperformed on a big stage before?
(Cheeky laugh) All the time. Sometimes you get so hyped up for a show and then you kind of just over-think everything you’re doing and then you walk off stage thinking ‘if I hadn’t have thought about all that I could have done it so much better’. I think that’s just natural.

A Florida court awarded $23.6 billion in damages against R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company in a case of a longtime smoker who died in 1996.

Have you ever ‘vaped’?
I’ve tried it. There’s an advert for it that got banned because it was really sexy. It was on TV and it was just like ‘you want to suck it’ and then everyone was just going ‘what is going on?’ And then it turns out it’s a vapouriser advert. It would make me buy one. My friends do it, but I’ve never really gone for it. Just stop smoking.

Finally in July, a fire broke out on Eastbourne Pier, destroying the arcade. Sad news.

But have you ever managed to get a cuddly toy out of those machines with the claw thing?
I have, yeah. In Florida actually and I may as well have just brought a teddy because I spent so much money trying to get it. I had no one to give it to either. It’s a bit of a fix I think. The claw isn’t strong enough.

Thank you Jake from Rixton for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of July 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: June, with Nicole Scherzinger http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-june-with-nicole-scherzinger/131606/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-june-with-nicole-scherzinger/131606/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131606 Nicole-Scherzinger

June 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact lexicon abuser Nicole Scherzinger? Let’s find out shall we.

In June the amazing ‘Your Love’ by Nicole Scherzinger charted in the UK at Number 6.

How cool. And June is the month of my birthday.

Indeed. In the grand scheme of things how happy on a scale of 1 – 10 does a UK Top Ten single make you?
Yeah I’m really happy. On a scale of 1-10? I don’t know. For me, I felt like the song was a Number One. (Laughs) I worked that hard for it to be a Number One. I was hoping for it to be a Top 5 but I’m grateful that the fans supported me and I know they got behind me even if the record wasn’t being played.

You milked a goat to promote it.
I did everything to promote it. My fans are the ones that got it to Number 6 so for my fans’ support, I’d say a 10.

Does it lessen how you view a single if it’s not had chart success?
I still love it regardless, I just think everybody else is crazy.

Also in the month of June, a massive sandstorm helped along by record high winds hit Tehran causing power blackouts in the Iranian capital.

But where do you keep the candles in your house?
I’ve got candles all over my house.

Are they scented?
(Excitedly) Yes! Some are scented, some are not.

What’s your favourite candle scent?
I love redcurrant. If you get the Votevo candles, I think it’s the Bailes, the black one, it’s lovely. Either that or vanilla.

Now that you’ve mentioned them in an interview hopefully we’ll all get sent loads of them.
(Laughs) I’m sorry, hang on…[speaks to a lady called Grace] will you look this up? It’s Bailes…Grace, will you look it up? Bailes I think it is. Is that the one I like? From Diptyque.

Anyway, also in June Vodafone revealed that the governments of six countries have a permanent link to monitor communications throughout Vodafone’s networks.

What would we learn about you if we had access to your last three text messages though?
Oh wow. Erm. What would you learn about me if you had access to my last three text messages? (Thinks for ages) Just that I’m very spiritual and I keep in touch with my family and my loved ones. That’s a hard question. Let’s move on to the next one.

Also in June, Scientists in Minnesota discovered that rats can feel regret, mainly about missed opportunities when it comes to their food.

When was the last time you regretted not having a dessert at a restaurant?
Rap? Like rap music?

Oh what is it again?

Rats can feel regret about food or something. When was the last time you regretted not having a dessert at a restaurant?
I can’t remember because when I want something I eat it. I’ve got a very sweet tooth. If anything I would regret if I ate too much. The last thing I had today was a Picnic bar.

Okay. How was that?

Last time we spoke you mentioned you’d once eaten blowfish semen. How much money would we have to give you for you to try that delicacy again?
Oh no amount of money in the world… Or maybe just £5m.

The word ‘adorkable’ was added to the Collins English Dictionary in June after a vote of Twitter users.

Are you disappointed that shamazing was never added to the dictionary?
Oh yeah I think shamazing is way better than adorkable. Shamazing just rolls off the tongue. Adorkable is cute but definitely shamazing should be added.

Are there any new hybrid words you’ve been working on?
We were saying ‘smazing’ which is a shortened version of ‘it’s amazing’. ‘Smazing’.

I’m always coming up with silly things that don’t really make any sense.

In June, Tortoiseshell cat Poppy – who was recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the longest-lived of her species – died at the age of 24.

Do you think cats have it easy and should they be made to work?
Erm… That’s a weird question. I mean, I don’t know what kind of stuff they would do.

They are very lazy.
They’re quite arrogant I think.

Are you more of a cat or a dog person?
I’m a dog person. But then I don’t know, it sounds so mean, putting a cat to work. What would they do? It’s like putting a dog to work.

But dogs do work! They collect dead animals for hunters and work on farms. They herd sheep.
Yeah it would be cool to see cats being able to do that.

June also brought faeces news: analysis of the oldest reported trace of poo added weight to the view that Neanderthals ate vegetables and not just meat.

Could you ever be vegetarian though?
Yeah, definitely. I’ve been vegetarian a couple of times in my life. I actually only eat white meat. I could be vegetarian but a vegan is another thing. I’ve been to vegan restaurants and I mean if you read what’s on the menu that they’re giving you it does not sound appetising, however when you eat it it tastes a lot better. They make magic happen with just nothing. With just air, beans, nuts and seeds.

What are your views on dairy?
I love dairy.

Handwritten lyrics of Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan sold at auction in June for a record $2m.

What’s your favourite Nicole Scherzinger lyric?
‘Big Fat Lie’’s got a couple of cool lyrics; “California days they say it never rains so why does my makeup seem like it’s never dry”.

Isn’t it true that California are in the middle of a massive drought?
I have no idea because I’m in London all the time where it does rain.

Finally, also in June, three men who escaped from a jail near Quebec City via helicopter were recaptured in Montreal.

Have you, Nicole Scherzinger, ever been in a helicopter?
Yes of course.

How was it? It looks dangerous.
It’s magical, it’s cool. You get a proper bird’s eye view of wherever you’re going. I find it fascinating.

Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?
I have not but that would be awesome.

Maybe you could get that as promo time, get some journalists in a hot air balloon.
Big Fat Hot Air Balloon.

Like when Rihanna took everyone on a plane, you could take everyone on a hot air balloon.
(Unconvincingly) Yeah.

Thank you Nicole Scherzinger for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of June 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: May, with Foxes http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-may-with-foxes/131604/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-may-with-foxes/131604/#comments Tue, 16 Dec 2014 10:00:57 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131604 Foxes

May 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact Debenhams soundtrack artiste Foxes? Let’s find out shall we.

In May it was announced that the singer Foxes would appear in an episode of long-running children’s programme Doctor Who.

Where in time and space would you like to visit?
Can I go to the future? Oh shit, but I always think that if you go to the future and you’re not in it then it’s really depressing. So maybe not in the future.

But you could go as you are now into the future?
And meet me? Maybe I’ll go to past me and meet me.

You don’t have to meet you.
You don’t think I should meet me? Awkward.

You’ve seen Back To The Future right? Where he kisses his own mum.
It gets weird. I don’t want to kiss my mum.

Okay so where would you like to go?
I would like to go to the 1960s. Solid. Just for the vibes.

Your album also came out in May. How did it feel to finally have it out?
I felt like it was never going to come out and then it was out. It was definitely a ‘yes, finally’ moment. I felt like I’d worked on it for a really long time and it went Top 5 which was amazing.

Also in May, Egypt opened a 3D-printed, full sized exact replica of King Tutankhamnun’s KV62 tomb in the Valley of the Kings.

How would you like to be buried?
Oh my God that is so dark. How would I like to be buried? Do I have to be buried?

Not necessarily.
I like it when you’re put on a little raft and floated down a river. I’d quite like that, but I don’t want everyone to put up with the smell because they burn you don’t they.

You could have a tomb with ‘here lies the ‘Clarity’ hitmaker Foxes’ on it?
That could be fun.

In shocking news, it was announced that France was no longer the biggest national market for wine. Rather, it was the US, with Americans consuming 2.9 billion litres of the trumped-up fruit juice.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done while drunk?
There’s a lot of things I’ve done that I can tell you about.

What was the most recent embarrassing drunken moment?
I do a lot of embarrassing things. I once walked onstage and headbutted the microphone after doing a shot of vodka.

Do you embarrass easily?
I thought that was actually a beautiful moment. You know the person things always happen to, that’s me. I’m so accident prone.

Have you embarrassed yourself in front of Pharrell?
Yes. Towards the end of the tour we all got really friendly and it felt normal. But basically I was turning more and more into a lad and one day I was walking past Pharrell and I verbally vomited in his direction. I think I said ‘alright, bruv’ and then fist-bumped him. I was pissed. He thinks I’m a nutter.

Fedya, a 2m-long circus crocodile, was injured after she was crushed by a falling accountant during a minor bus accident in Russia.

(Laughs) What? Say it again. Why was a crocodile next to a bus?

No idea. Do you believe that tax doesn’t have to be taxing?
Did you take some form of LSD? You know what this feels like? It’s like being in a K-hole.

Not that you’d know.
Not that I’d know.

Do you do your own tax?
I have an accountant obviously, but I like to think I’m heavily involved in it all…

Also in May, Skype confirmed it had removed some emoji symbols which have the potential to offend.

What emoji best sums up your life at the moment and why?
The happy poo.

I’m kidding. I quite like the angry clay man. Can I have a look at my phone? (Gets phone out) I like the woman pushing her hair up, she is me basically. I feel a connection to her. I quite like the chick coming out of the egg, I feel like she’s positive. New life.

A man’s 50-page legal challenge was rejected in US courts after he demanded the right to marry his laptop as he argued that the love he has for the “porn-filled” Apple computer was no different to that between gay couples.

If you took your laptop to the ‘Genius Bar’, what material would you want to keep private?
My photobooth.

Doesn’t everyone want to keep that private? I lost my laptop the other day actually but luckily it was locked. No, I don’t really have that much to hide.

Would you marry your laptop?

May also saw a worldwide celebration as the term ‘lol’ turned 25 years old.

No it didn’t! That’s a lie.

It is not. As you’re also 25, do you feel that with age comes greater responsibility?
Erm, I feel that with age you just get to know yourself more.

Are you more or less responsible than you were five years ago?
Less I think. I’ve learnt that nothing really matters that much. Everything matters, but not that much. It is difficult on tour because you get food made for you, someone gives you a diary of what you’re doing so it’s kind of like becoming a bit dumbed down. You become a bit of a child again. It’s a very weird job. Then you come back off tour and you go to shop and you just look round looking for your tour manager.

In Europe an article was added to the European Data Protection Regulation, known as the “right to be forgotten”, that meant that users could determine what personal information could be displayed on search engine results.

What were the last three things you Googled?
I bet it’s something boring, hang on let me check (gets phone out again). Mine was ‘raw food delivery’. What am I a rabbit? I think I wanted to have a healthy week.

Finally, May also saw Apple purchase overpriced headphone maker Beats for the appropriately non-small sum of $3bn.

How important is sound quality to you?
Very very important. Beats are very good.

Any other brands you’d like to mention?
Sennheiser are also good.

How long did you keep the Apple own brand ones before you chucked them?
I was very happy with the iPhone ones for a really long time, but I borrowed my friend’s Beats ones… This is such a boring story I’m not even going to carry on with it. Sorry.

Thank you Foxes for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of May 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: April, with Kiesza http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-april-with-kiesza/131598/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-april-with-kiesza/131598/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2014 10:00:56 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131598 Kiesza

April 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact perpetual dancer Kiesza? Let’s find out shall we.

In April, golf man Tiger Woods announced that he’d undergone back surgery for a pinched nerve, and went on to miss come big golf tournament thing.

But what gets on your nerves?
Well, I actually crushed a nerve in my elbow recently and I’ve been recovering ever since. It crushed it so it cut off the signal that that nerve was giving to the muscle so my entire forearm, my pinky finger and my ring finger on my left hand went completely numb and the muscle started deteriorating.

Blimey. Is there anything generally that gets on your nerves?
Okay, you know what gets on my nerves but shouldn’t? I’m a really fast walker so when there’s a whole bunch of people walking down the sidewalk and I can’t get through them, that gets on my nerves. I don’t hold it against them though.

A court stenographer in New York was discovered to have written utter nonsense instead of actual court transcripts, potentially jeopardising thirty court cases.

What’s your worst lyric?
My worst lyric? Gosh, I don’t even know. Let me think. I can’t answer that question.

Are you saying all your lyrics are amazing?
No. There are songs that I write that I know aren’t lyrical masterpieces, but nor should they be. They’re not that type of song. It’s not meant to have too much depth.

Your friend and ours Stuart Parkin was awarded the Millennium Technology Prize for breakthroughs in magnetic storage capacity or something.

But how big is your wardrobe?
Wow. Oh my wardrobe is deep but it’s not exceptionally large. I travel a lot so I’m living out of a bag really. It’s all quite limited. I get a lot of stylists bringing me clothes that I wear once or twice and then return.

A total lunar eclipse occurred in April, which was exciting.

Have you ever howled at the moon?
That was cool. And yes I’ve howled at the moon a lot.

Really, why?
Have you ever howled at the moon?

It feels really good. It’s like a release. You should do it next time. When you howl everyone around you wants to howl too and then you understand why wolves howl too.

Also in April, scientists announced the creation of cloned human stem cells derived from adult cells.

If you could clone a famous person who would you chose?
That’s a tough one. Definitely I’d like to clone Michael Jackson and Einstein. In fact I’d like to splice them into one person.

That’s one clever popstar.
It would be interesting I think.

The government announced that Cornish people would be granted minority status under new Council of Europe rules.

Do you think Jessica Cornish should go and live in America?
Er. I don’t know. Not if she wants to live in the UK. She should live wherever her heart is at home.

Basically she intimated this year that she was thinking of moving to America because she feels more appreciated there.
Oh then yes she should live where she feels she will be accepted. I think she should live in America.

She should live in New York, it’s a great city.

Copies of ET and some Atari games buried in 1983 were discovered in a New Mexican desert in April.

What would you bury in a time capsule to represent 2014?
Let me think about that for a minute…I would put a pair of my Reebok sneakers in there. My authentic, designer Reekbok sneakers that came out this year. A pair that I actually wore.

You could put ‘Hideaway’ in there and that would represent 2014 quite well.
Can we put singles in? It has to be a physical copy right? I did put it out on vinyl actually.

Scientists announced the discovery of Kryptodrakon, the oldest “winged lizard” ever found.

But do you see the appeal of owning a lizard?

But you can’t hug them.
You can hug a lizard! Of course you can.

But you can’t stroke it and play with it?
You can. Playing is something that requires imagination so you just have to use your imagination. You can play with anything really. You can have a conversation with a lizard. Plus a lizard is the closest thing we have to dragons, which makes them really cool pets.

What would you call your pet lizard?
(Thinks for ages) I’d call him Sphincter.

Also in April, a meteorite shower was recorded in Russia.

Baths or showers?
I have more showers but I prefer baths. I love having a bath. I love soaking up the water. I feel like I’m in the womb again, I just relax.

Finally in April, in pollution news, an official study released by the Chinese government revealed that around one-fifth of China’s soil is contaminated.

When did you last soil yourself?
When did I last soil myself?! As in poo my pants?

I can’t even remember. It must have been before my memory. I haven’t actually soiled myself in recent memory, which is probably a good thing. We’ve all soiled ourselves though. It’s better out than in.

Thank you Kiesza for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of April 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: March, with Ella Henderson http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-march-with-ella-henderson/131596/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-march-with-ella-henderson/131596/#comments Sun, 14 Dec 2014 10:00:39 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131596 ella-march

March 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact singing lady Ella Henderson? Let’s find out shall we.

In March, Ella Henderson announced ‘Ghost’ as her debut single.

But have you, Ella Henderson, ever seen the movie Ghost?
Yes, I have.

Also in March an entry on the documentary film Fuck caused offence after the Wikipedia website featured it prominently on its home page.

What was the first swear word that you used and did it cause offence?
I don’t know if it’s classed as a swear word, especially nowadays, but I can remember the first time I said “Bloody hell” to my mum and I got sent to my room. She’d never heard me pop out and say it when I was younger, and I just used it in a normal sentence before dinner as well. It wasn’t really necessary but I just threw it in there because I thought it was cool.

An 1,800-year-old Egyptian papyrus discovered a century ago, whose inscription is nearly illegible to the naked eye, was made more readable using infrared sensors, revealing the message to be a soldier’s letter to his family.

Say in 1,800 years they discovered something you had made what would you like them to find and who would it be for?
Ooh. I’d like them to find a little note or a message in the same way. It’d probably be for my family that’s, you know, passed down in the generations. I would want them to know who I was and to just remind them that if it weren’t for me they wouldn’t be alive. (Laughs)

So like an autobiography but in a note?
Just in a note for my great, great, great, great grandchildren.

At the Academy Awards, Ellen Degeneres took a selfie that was liked by millions of people.

Do you think we’ve become too obsessed with ourselves?
(Laughs) You do see people taking photos of themselves nowadays and then they have to delete it straightaway, and then they go again and delete and go again. It depends, no one likes a bad photo of themselves. And you won’t go uploading it on to Instagram or Twitter until it’s the perfect one that you like. I don’t know, I’ve learnt to try and not care that much anymore, especially about selfies. I don’t really know the answer to that.

Who would you have in your dream selfie?
I’d have me, Adele, Beyoncé, Peter Kay, he makes me laugh, and probably Jamie Oliver so he could cook us something.

Also in March, a total of 10 Gentoo penguins took up residence in an aquarium in Hull. In the £750,000 exhibit visitors were given views of the penguins across three floors and it featured a swimming pool, diving pool, beach area and nesting area.

Penguins are obviously important to Hull, but do you think £750,000 is too much money to spend on a penguin sanctuary?
No, I think they deserve that. We don’t want animals becoming endangered or anything like that, do we. So looking after penguins is good.

47-year-old Amanda Rodgers appeared on This Morning to say that she had married her dog, Sheba.

If you were to marry an animal what type would you marry and why?
It’s just wrong. I’m not going to marry an animal. Isn’t it illegal?

She did it overseas.
I was going to say, apparently it’s legal to marry your dog in India.

But say marriage to animals was legal and it wasn’t taboo and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with one, what animal would you pick Ella?
But you wouldn’t be able to have a conversation, ever.

But what animal would you pick?
I’d probably marry a dolphin because they could take me swimming. I could hang onto its fin and just glide through the water.

Dolphins can sort of communicate, too.
Sort of. I could sing my high notes and they could reply.

Pharrell was Number one with his album ‘G I R L’.

Would you ever consider adopting a signature hat like the noted feminist?
I don’t know it hats suit me. I’ve tried different types of hats. I like the big hats; I don’t know what you call the one that I like. I like a good summer hat as well, a big straw one for the beach, but I probably wouldn’t adopt one and wear it constantly. I’d probably wear it, take it off again and bring it out another year.

March also saw Cheryl Cole announce her return to The X Factor.

Do you think they should have brought back Tulisa?
Ooh. I love how the show changes it up every year. I don’t think it matters that much. It’s got to change every year to have something fresh to it to make the viewers want to watch it again. If it was the same every year then people would start to get bored. I think it’s great how it is now.

A Girl Scout in Oklahoma City sold 18,107 boxes of cookies, breaking the previous record of 18,000.

What is your favourite type of biscuit for dunking in a cup of tea?
Plain digestive or a malted milk.

Malted Milk? That’s quite a weak biscuit for a cup of tea, isn’t it?
No, I love it. You don’t even have to do a five second dunk, it’s just plop and it melts in your mouth.

What do you do when a bit of the biscuit breaks off into the cup of tea?
I immediately get a tea spoon and try and get it out. If it doesn’t look too bad then I will go to eat it. Most of the time I have to get it out and put it on my side plate. I hate it when it becomes a floater in your tea and you’ve got biscuit all around the rim.

When it goes like a biscuit smoothie.
Yeah, it’s not nice.

And finally, popular but unfunny sitcom How I Met Your Mother aired its final episode in March.

Have you ever taken someone home to meet your mother and how did it go?
Hmmm… No, I’ve never taken anyone home to meet my mum. I’ve never experienced that. I wouldn’t be worried to take anyone home because, as long as the person treated me right, she’d accept it.

Thank you Ella Henderson for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of March 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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2014 in review: February, with Nile Rodgers http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-february-with-nile-rodgers/131593/ http://www.popjustice.com/interviewsandfeatures/2014-in-review-february-with-nile-rodgers/131593/#comments Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:00:29 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131593 nile-february

February 2014 was a month in which various things happened in ‘the world at large’. But how did these things impact actual living legend Nile Rodgers? Let’s find out shall we.

In February, Nile Rodgers performed at the Brits with Pharrell a month after performing at the Grammys with him, Daft Punk and Actual Stevie Wonder.

Do you still have ‘pinch me’ moments?
I have pinch me moments about my career and life every single day. February happened to be a really great month, but so was March and so was January. I get to do what I alway dreamed of doing. When I was a child I dreamed of being a composer and a musician. To think that Stevie Wonder is my friend and Pharrell Williams is my writing partner, it’s totally cool.

2014’s been quite a year for you, but obviously it followed a pretty dark time. Do you think ahead? Can you when things change so quickly?
I was stricken with cancer a little over three and a half years ago, so because of the health issues I don’t think ahead. I really think much more in the present because I’ve learned that these moments are so fleeting. A little while ago my close friend, my guitar handler of many many years, passed away literally minutes before we went on stage. He was ill and I knew he was in a very dire situation but to be told minutes before you go onstage that he’s passed away, I would never have expected that in a thousand years. So I do try and stay in the moment, but I’m a producer so it’s my job to plan.

You’ve recently collaborated with most of the pop world. What do you look for in the people you collaborate with?
People that I admire, respect and people that I believe that I’m going to learn from. I always go into a situation feeling highly confident I am going to teach them something and it really doesn’t matter whether its Placido Domingo or Avicii, I believe that if I don’t have something to offer you, why do you use me? If I can’t give you something new then why do you need me? I always believe in working with somebody who is going to teach me something.

Would you like to work with Madonna again?
Oh yeah, I’d love to work with Madonna but it is what it is. (Laughs)

Seamlessly back to February… Around the Super Bowl, Coca-Cola released a multilingual advert featuring the song ‘America The Beautiful’.

How many languages can you speak?
Personally I speak two: English and music.

Amazing. Chic should play the Super Bowl halftime show, surely? Rope in Madonna, Bowie, Daft Punk etc.
Yeah well you know. (Laughs) You know what man, let me just say something to you. This is the truth about Chic. Our whole life has been a battle of swimming upstream against the tide. I guess I’ve grown to accept that and maybe even like it. I wish it were easier. If you go back and look at the film of Daft Punk, Pharrell and myself sitting in the audience at the Grammys, I had told them we were going to lose and that they shouldn’t be upset. And they said ‘why?’ and I said ‘well you know I’ve never won a Grammy’ and they all looked back at me and went ‘what?! You didn’t win a Grammy for ‘Let’s Dance’, ‘We Are Family’, ‘Like A Virgin’, ‘Upside Down’ etc’. And I said ‘no, nothing’. They thought that it was old hat to me. I’ve had a life of huge success but it’s been really really difficult and maybe I like it that way. I don’t go into a project assuming that it’s going to be a hit. I go into a project assuming it’s going to be a failure and then do everything in my power to try and help people hear the music.

In species news, also in February, a possible new species of giant jellyfish was discovered, washed up on a beach in Australia.

Obviously the way to help heal a jellyfish sting is to wee on it…
I know that because it works very well. I’ve been stung many times.

And someone had to wee on you?
Only once. The very first time it happened.

How painful is it?
The being weed on? (Laughs) No but the sting is unbelievably painful. In fact a few years ago I got stung by a giant sea nettle and the welt lasted on my hand for four or five years. Now what were you saying about jellyfish?

Could you ever urinate on someone who had been stung by a jellyfish?
Quite easily and I couldn’t wait to do it.

Good news for people with hangovers: McDonald’s opened their first restaurant within Vietnam, in Ho Chi Minh City, in February.

What’s your favoured McDonald’s order?
Wow. Favourite? I would say I always the same thing – a double cheeseburger.

With a milkshake?
I’m not big on the milkshake thing because I have diabetes. I order the double cheeseburger but I don’t eat the bun.

A number of concerts took place in America in February to celebrate the 50th anniversary of The Beatles and the ‘British Invasion’.

Do you think they’re a bit overrated though?
(Silence) The Beatles? You’ve got to be out of your mind. I was one of the people on the stage at that event in fact. The first song I ever learned to play was a Beatles song called ‘A Day In The Life’. That changed the whole course of my entire career.

Have you met Paul or Ringo?
Of course. My girlfriend used to babysit for Julian Lennon which made me Julian Lennon’s babysitter by default. He and I laugh about this all the time. We were together recently in Monaco.

Also in February, Shia LeBeouf walked out of the Berlin premiere of cinematic bonkfest Nymphomaniac with a paper bag over his head after becoming involved in a plagiarism controversy.

Have you ever sported a disguise?
No. I’m not famous, I don’t need to.

Really? Do people not recognise you?
They recognised me a bit more after ‘Get Lucky’ because you don’t know what Daft Punk look like, you know what Pharrell looks like and they sort of know what I look like. I’ve had a huge amount of hit records well before ‘Get Lucky’ and people don’t really notice me. Chic was always planned to be an anonymous. We based our careers on Kiss because we saw that they were able to put on this great show and then melt into the crowd and be anonymous. We didn’t look like stars or act like stars. When a star walks into a room you can feel it, but when Nile walks into the room it’s like ‘hey Nile, how you doing?’. (Laughs)

In more February news from the animal kingdom, a giraffe called Marius was killed and fed to the lions causing worldwide protests from environmental activists.

Would you rather be a giraffe or a lion?
I’d rather be a lion.

Even though I think giraffes are amazing, I think lions are magnificent and beautiful and fast and very endangered, so if I were a lion I would like to be the smart one that could out think hunters. I think that killing animals for sport, for me, is a very horrible thing and I think that if I were a lion I’d have a better chance of escaping even though I know I’d be a bigger target. When I was a kid people used to pick on me, I was always bullied, but I could always out-run everybody.

A fucking SINKHOLE opened underneath the National Corvette Museum in America, swallowing eight vintage Corvettes.

Does this make you sad?
Of course. I’m a car fanatic. I’m a petrol-head.

When was the last time you fell in a hole?
The last time I fell in a hole? I’m not sure I’ve ever fallen into a hole except a metaphorical hole, like when I’ve put out a record and it was a flop. I’ve done that a couple of times.

Also in February, ballroom dancers and people doing aerobics started performing in the midst of an anti-China protest in Vietnam, apparently as a ploy by the government to break up the protest.

What dance move would you pull to end a fight?
I would do a lot of the dances we did in the 70s that involved touching, like the hustle or the bump. People used to do ballroom dancing where they’d touch but after Chubby Checker did ‘The Twist’, they started dancing apart. When the disco era started, we got back to touching each other. Look at Saturday Night Fever. So I would do the hustle or any of those cool 70s dances where we’re touching each other. I’d dance The Freak! That was the sexiest dance ever.

And finally, the Kepler telescope discovered 715 new planets in February!

What was the last thing you discovered about yourself?
The last thing I discovered about myself, so the last thing I learned about me… I’m always learning. I learned that Alitalia doesn’t have fast-track at Heathrow after I paid for a VIP ticket. (Laughs) I guess what I learned about myself is that I always want fast-track. I was standing in a line for TWO HOURS. Unbelievable. I was like ‘are you kidding me?’ So yes, I always want fast-track.

Thank you Nile Rodgers for that fascinating insight into your thoughts on the month of February 2014. We hope you had a satisfactory year and wish you all the very best for 2015.

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