Posted by Popjustice on
Mar 13 2007, 01:00
Writing about pop music is quite good fun but the problem is that people keep sending you music to listen to. Music is boring and time consuming, so it is always far preferable to open an envelope or box and find something unmusical yet still music-related inside.
Here are four things we have received recently.
1. UNSIGNED INDIE CHOPPING BOARD
We are not sure if this was sent as a response to our new rave chopping board discovery a few weeks ago or whether the band have actually printed up some chopping boards by complete coincidence. As you can see in the picture above, the chopping board is in full working order – stylish yet practical. What thrusts this piece of promotional tat into the Promo Tat Superleague is the fact that the band, the band’s name, the band’s single and the band’s entire image has NOTHING to do with kitchens, food or chopping boards. This is completely spurious promo tat and that is why it is brilliant. Unfortunately we have lost the CD single and press release and can’t remember the band’s name which, to be fair, takes the edge off the ‘promo’ angle. Perhaps someone will get in touch and remind us what is going on.
2. RUBBISH INFLATABLE SAXOPHONE
This is to tie in with a dance single which features a saxophone. We inflated this the other day when there was a dog in the office and it scared the dog. Inflatable items of promo tattery are usually quite a good bet because they are ‘amusingly’ left on top of filing cabinets, hanging from ceilings etc for a very long time.
3. THE GREATEST SINGLE SLEEVE OF 2006
This is not proper promo tat per se but it is still very amazing: a CD single sleeve with holes cut in so you can poke your fingers through and pretend to be a little walking man. The reverse of the sleeve has a lady’s dress on it, making the CD single sleeve unisex and therefore politically correct. We have not listened to the song yet – it is probably awful.
4. THE MOST AMAZING OYSTER CARD HOLDER YOU WILL EVER SEE
Note to non-London viewers: Oyster Cards are top-uppable London transport tickets which never work and allow The Man to see where you are going, meaning they are COMPLETELY USELESS if you are a spy. The proper Oyster Card holders are like the one above but blue and with different words on them. Some Kelis ones came into the office last year but they were a bit shit. This one is so completely amazing (‘I Get Around’ DO! YOU!! SEE!!!) that we are going to sell our car at the weekend simply so we HAVE to use this on public transport.
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?
* Include your band’s name on chopping boards.
* Cut holes in CD sleeves.
* Inflatables = good.
* Make things pink.