Notes On Britney’s X Factor Performance
Posted by Popjustice on
Dec 01 2008, 10:07
1. Come on now. It should absolutely not be a requirement to sing live during a television performance, and it seems slightly odd that a generation of people who grew up watching lipsynched performances on ‘much missed’ Top Of The Pops should claim otherwise.
2. This said, an international superstar supposedly ‘back on top’ and with a decade’s experience in lipsynching should at least be able to do it competently.
3. Lipsynching exists in order to facilitate exciting stage spectacle and great choreography.
4. This said, shaking your tits around and pointing at things while you walk around a stage isn’t exactly great choreography.
5. If you are Britney Spears and you’re touring Europe to promote a single on a succession of TV shows you don’t know or care about, you shouldn’t be expected to sit through an hour and a half of ropey warblers murdering your songs.
6. This said, when asked a direct question about how you feel X Factor contestants have performed, you should be able to come up with something a bit better than…
She’s a bit like Father Jack being prodded into consciousness and responding with a bewildered “DRINK! FECK! ARSE!”, but her reaction also reminds us of the feeling you get when you’re in a meeting and halfway through a daydream about fish fingers your hear the words “what do you think?”, and realise everyone is looking at you.
7. Here’s an idea – let’s make sure the backing track sounds like it’s being played through a duvet eight miles away.
8. Bit of a botched opportunity to show everyone you’re amazing again, really. :(