Popjustice » The Briefing http://www.popjustice.com 100% Solid Pop Music Mon, 23 Feb 2015 09:20:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Lorentz’s ‘Robyn Fenty’ vs Clean Bandit’s ‘Rihanna': WHICH IS BEST? http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/lorentzs-robyn-fenty-vs-clean-bandits-rihanna-which-is-best/134413/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/lorentzs-robyn-fenty-vs-clean-bandits-rihanna-which-is-best/134413/#comments Fri, 20 Feb 2015 16:40:04 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134413 Have a look at these and see if you can tell which one’s best.

Answer: The best one is ‘Walks Like Rihanna’ by The Wanted.

Well that was easy. NEXT!

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Get the fuck out of the way, the new Jeppo single’s coming through http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/get-the-fuck-out-of-the-way-the-new-jeppo-singles-coming-through/134377/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/get-the-fuck-out-of-the-way-the-new-jeppo-singles-coming-through/134377/#comments Tue, 17 Feb 2015 15:56:12 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134377 JEPPO-IS-BACK

We first heard positive noises about Carly Rae Jepsen’s return at the end of last year. “Apparently it’s really good,” said someone who knows really good when they hear it, based on the claims of someone else who knows really good when they hear it.

Naturally, as Jeppo connoisseurs are all too aware, Carly ‘Rae’ Rae Jepsen is herself no stranger to real goodness. Her 2012-or-whenever-it-was album ‘Kiss’ is completely-ish packed with well above average pop bangers. But does the world need new Carly Rae Jepsen music in 2015, and can it really be any good?

YES AND YES SO SHUT UP.

Listen to this.

Yes the clip has got Tom Hanks in it. Yes Justin Bieber is in there somewhere too because apparently they’re filming some sort of car advert. And yes that IS Left Shark in the red jumper at the end. But most importantly YES THIS SONG SOUNDS AMAZING. We watched this Instagram video first thing this morning and have found ourselves returning to it at various points during the day, drawn back in by the Siren-like call of its unmistakable amazingness. During lunch, we realised it had been looping in the background for over twenty minutes. We left it running for another ten minutes.

As you’ll recall, Jeppo semi-announced ‘I Really Like You’ in December…

…and the full song is apparently coming sooner than you might expect. Although things being as they are in 2015, you’d kind of expect it tomorrow. So maybe it’s not coming sooner than that. But it’s coming soon. Not ‘soon’ in the Mutya Keisha Siobhan sense. Soon in an actually imminent kind of way.

We think it only fair to warn you that this could be the greatest song of all time. Plan accordingly.

 

CARLY RAE JEPSEN: BIOGRAPHICAL FACTS

  • She went out last night
  • She’s going out tonight again
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ROLL UP ROLL UP IT’S A CHARLI XCX QUIZ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/charli-xcx-quiz/134360/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/charli-xcx-quiz/134360/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2015 15:39:17 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134360
  • Numerous questions!

    Numerous potential answers!!

    That's it!!!

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The new Official Albums Chart rules: how it all works http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-official-albums-chart-rules-how-it-all-works/134300/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-official-albums-chart-rules-how-it-all-works/134300/#comments Thu, 12 Feb 2015 09:50:07 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134300 Thanks to Spotify, streaming is bigger than ever in the UK.

UK-STRTEAMING-DATA

An impressive graph – and that’s just Spotify. Look how much it changes when you factor in Deezer.

UK-STRTEAMING-DATA-DEEZER

The challenge for the Official Charts is to include streaming so that the chart stays relevant – but it’s hard. When streaming data was added to the singles chart, they came up with the simple formula that 100 streams would equal one sale.

But today the Official Charts Company have made a big announcement: streaming will also now count towards the albums chart, too.

occ-album-change

There are difficulties – what if one album track is streamed a lot? What if people only listen to half an album? That sort of thing.

Fortunately, the OCC have come up with a formula to make sense of it.

Here’s how it works.

PHYSICAL SALES
This is CDs sold in Tesco and petrol stations.

PLUS

DIGITAL SALES
These come from the the strange group of people who have embraced The Future to the extent that they’ll consume music digitally, but haven’t embraced digital enough to comfortably wave goodbye to the concept of paying a fair sum for music. By 2018 this will account for eighteen people. You could argue that a digital sale should count for more than a physical sale, because paying for something intangible that you can’t sell or give to someone else shows more commitment to the music than buying a compact disc. But let’s not get bogged down in that.

PLUS

STREAMS
From next month, the Official Charts Company will look at the total plays of an album’s twelve most streamed tracks – then they’ll divide that by 1000. You might think that 1000 is a curiously round number but that is just a coincidence: this number has been arrived upon BY SCIENCE.

 

PLUS

THE COTTON MULTIPLIER
If a Live Lounge performance of any song on the album has given Fearne Cotton “goosebumps!!” in the last 30 days, the current sales total will be multiplied by 1.045.

PLUS

THE BECK/BEYONCÉ MEME CLAUSE
Thanks to numerous, totally logical memes floating around in the wake of this year’s Grammys, everyone knows that an album gets progressively worse with every additional performer, writer or producer. You might say that by this logic you could record the sound of yourself shitting in a yellow bucket and that the ‘song’, having been composed, produced and performed by just one person, would be intrinsically better than anything Lennon and McCartney ever knocked together. But you would be shouted down because internet memes have spoken. Anyway, based on all this, 0.08% of an album’s sales will be knocked off for every additional person involved in the album. The OCC are going to be very strict on this and as well as counting songwriters, producers and performers, they’ll also take into account A&Rs, managers, accountants, everyone who works at the record label, and the person who went and got sandwiches while the photo for the sleeve was being taken.

PLUS

HAT FACTOR
Does the artist wear a hat on the sleeve of the album? If yes, add another 8000 ‘sales’ to the tally.

EQUALS…

The grand total!

We are sure you will agree that this is an exciting new chapter for the Official Charts, and we look forward to seeing how the new rules shape the albums chart!

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We’ve just remembered our ‘predict when Rihanna’s single will appear’ contest http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/weve-just-remembered-our-predict-when-rihannas-single-will-appear-contest/134293/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/weve-just-remembered-our-predict-when-rihannas-single-will-appear-contest/134293/#comments Wed, 11 Feb 2015 17:27:26 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134293 rsingle-exp

At last year’s Twenty Quid Music Prize judging ceremony thing, we asked attendees to guess precisely when Rihanna’s comeback single would appear.

Some predictions were a little optimistic (“TONIGHT LIVE RIGHT HERE”) and some were great ideas (“December 13 – AKA Beyoncéday”, “January 1 00:01″ and so on). As it turned out only one person – who guessed March 5 – predicted that the song would come later than it actually did.

This said, an attendee by the name of Georgina Stone was responsible for making the prediction closest to the actual January 25 appearance of ‘FourFiveSeconds’. Georgina guessed “January 19 (around 2pm)”.

We promised on the night that the closest guess would win twenty quid so Georgina please drop us a line and we’ll sort out the delivery of your prize.

From the post-‘FourFiveSeconds’ vantage point we all now occupy, it’s hard to remember just how exciting it seemed, in the closing months of 2014, that a new Rihanna single might suddenly appear.

Still, there’s always the second single. If anyone fancies guessing when that will appear, chuck your predictions in the comments below. Date and time please – we’ll PayPal £4.50 to whoever turns out to be closest.

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Blog post to recognise the fact that Capital are hammering the Years & Years single http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/blog-post-to-recognise-the-fact-that-capital-are-hammering-the-years-years-single/134263/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/blog-post-to-recognise-the-fact-that-capital-are-hammering-the-years-years-single/134263/#comments Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:35:47 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134263 yearsandyearswhite

When it comes to new acts the unwritten UK radio rule is that Radio 1 makes the hits then Capital plays them. It’s an arrangement that works pretty well for both stations, and both stations’ listeners.

Strangely, Capital are absolutely hammering the Years & Years single. They have been for weeks.

If you ever listen to Capital you’ll know how peculiar this is: total playlist domination for this sort of band, at this stage in their career, with this sort of song. More interestingly, ‘King’ is usually back announced with the sort of glowing praise (“this lot are going to be massive” etc) that Capital usually reserve for acts managed by their own parent company, Global. The support for this song is so intense that we actually had to check Global’s website to see if Years & Years were on their books somewhere. Apparently not.

To give you an idea of the scale of all this, let’s have a look at the ever-amazing Compare My Radio website to see who’s been playing Years & Years over the last month.

years-and-years-radio-play

Those figures are pretty extraordinary – every Capital station is playing ‘King’ more than twice as much as Radio 1. (And Radio 1, don’t forget, have been the band’s biggest champions until now.) Yes, Capital always tend to give certain songs more plays than Radio 1 – you’re never more than eight minutes away from an Ellie Goulding vocal. But still.

So the question is: why are Capital playing ‘King’ so much?

And the answer, surely, is: because it’s amazing.

What a song.

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The new PJ Almighty: Marina, Madonna, Tori Kelly, Sharks ‘et al’ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-pj-almighty-marina-madonna-tori-kelly-sharks-et-al/134218/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-pj-almighty-marina-madonna-tori-kelly-sharks-et-al/134218/#comments Tue, 10 Feb 2015 13:57:26 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134218 almightyfeb2015

It has been ‘quite a while’ since we did a new PJ Almighty on Popjustice. For those of you who don’t recall, it’s a list of amazing popstars (with a shit pop thing at the bottom).

1. Marina & The Diamonds

At the very start of the year, in a piece about popstars’ imperial phases, we wondered which acts might enter their imperial phase in 2015. “Marina looked like she had the potential to enter an imperial phase,” we wrote, “but we’re not convinced the ‘FROOT’ campaign to date has laid appropriately robust foundations.”

Actually, that was a load of shit.

With the added context of ‘I’m A Ruin’ it’s clear that what’s actually happening now is the meticulously orchestrated rebirth of an actual pop superstar. And it’s very exciting.

Marina’s official site

2. Tori Kelly

Pop needs a new superstar and Tori may be just that. She’s been knocking around for a few years, she can be quite good on Twitter, and her backstory’s full of stuff like American Idol auditions, self-released music and a record deal at the age of twelve, but having signed with Scooter Braun she’s now on Capitol Records.

Tori’s been working with Toby Gad, Pharrell Williams and Ed Sheeran (mind you who hasn’t) and her new single, ‘Nobody Love’, was co-written with MAX FUCKING MARTIN.

Given all that, and over a million YouTube subscribers, the new song’s off to a surprisingly slow start on YouTube – 60,000 views in two days doesn’t feel like much – but you get the impression that when they properly push the button on Tori’s career the whole thing could easily go berserk.

As for ‘Nobody Love’ itself: it seems to position Tori somewhere between Ariana Grande and Jessie J.

Tori on Twitter

3. Kygo

Kygo’s one of our favourite remixer-type people at the moment (this Seinabo Sey one‘s good, as is this Kyla La Grange one – it doesn’t really matter which one you listen to because all his stuff sounds the same) but his own tune ‘Firestone’ is also really really great.

The song’s been around since last year but we saw someone on Twitter saying that it’s getting a proper UK push in the coming months so that’s nice. (It’s already on iTunes if you want to buy it.)

Kygo on SoundCloud

4. Sharks

Katy dances with them and Rihanna is relaxed about being eaten by them but the Sharks we’re most interested in are the Swedish duo whose MAX FUCKING MARTIN co-written single ‘Wait’, released last year, is basically a supercharged Icona Pop tune.

We were thinking about Susanna and Sophia the other day and wondering if right about now might be a good time for a new single. Maybe a hundred or so words on a UK pop website will force the issue. Anytime in the next week or so would be fine, cheers.

Sharks on Twitter

5. Madonna

We’re standing by what we said on Twitter the other week: we’ll look back on ‘Rebel Heart’, once we’ve all deleted the nonsense off iTunes, as a great ten-track album. MAYBE EVEN A GREAT TWELVE-TRACK ALBUM.

Madonna on – where else – Instagram 

666. ‘Jessie J and Tom Jones’

It’s traditional, in the days that follow the Grammys, to find oneself increasingly frustrated as due to copyright nonsense each YouTube clip, each Daily Motion clip and finally every other piece of video footage capturing the evening’s performances disappears from the internet. This year, we’re not feeling quite so sad about how hard it is to relive Grammy performances, because if it means there’s zero chance of accidentally clicking on Jessie and Tom honking their way through ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’’, it’s a sacrifice worth making.

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A thing the American ‘Now’ compilations do that the UK ones should do too http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/a-thing-the-american-now-compilations-do-that-the-uk-ones-should-do-too/134198/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/a-thing-the-american-now-compilations-do-that-the-uk-ones-should-do-too/134198/#comments Tue, 03 Feb 2015 18:35:46 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134198 2466-201501291456490401

This is a sponsored post to tell you that if you live in America and enjoy the popular Now That’s What I Call Music! compilation series you’re in luck because the new one, ‘Now 53′, is out today in the States, features ‘Uptown Funk’ and numerous other tunes, and can be purchased by clicking right here.

Now that’s out of the way we can get to the meat and veg of this post which is something we intended to write last year but forgot about for reasons we also now forget.

Basically, the US Now! compilations do something really brilliant that we think the UK ones should start doing too.

It’s simple really – at the end of each compilation, after the songs that have already been hits, they chuck a load of songs by new artists. The songs fall under the ‘NOW What’s Next’ banner.

Here are the songs on the current (out today, see above etc) one.

now-us

You’ll notice that one of those songs is the literally splendid Zara Larsson tune ‘Uncover’.

What a tune.

Imagine if the UK Now! compilations did the same?

To understand the enormity of this you have to remember that while you don’t really think about them that much, Now! compilations sell a shedload of copies. How amazing would it be for a new artist to barge their way into a Now! tracklisting and, as a result, the iTunes libraries of over a million people? Say Lou Lou – there’s a band that would benefit from that. This sort of thing would be perfect for Say Lou Lou.

Anyway, that’s just an idea.

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The NEW RIHANNA SINGLE: good news and bad news http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-rihanna-single-good-news-and-bad-news/134022/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-new-rihanna-single-good-news-and-bad-news/134022/#comments Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:52:56 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=134022 rihannamaccawest

GOOD NEWS! Q1 is the new Q4. Rihanna released a new single overnight! It’s called ‘FourFiveSeconds’ and it’s on iTunes now!!!!!!

BAD NEWS: It’s not on iTunes in the UK. Maybe it will turn up later.

GOOD NEWS! Still – NEW RIHANNA!

BAD NEWS! It sounds like Track 9 on a Pink album.

GOOD NEWS! It’s got Kanye West and Paul McCartney on it. Collaborating with not one but TWO true music legends is a real coup for Macca.

BAD NEWS! Well, it’s got Kanye West and Paul McCartney on it. If there’s one popstar on the planet who doesn’t need a multi-act pileup in order to make an impact, it’s Rihanna. Also, Paul and Kanye have been working together anyway so it feels like Rihanna’s just fitting in with what other people are already doing. Which is not how Rihanna should operate.

BAD NEWS! It’s got acoustic guitar on it.

GOOD NEWS! At least it doesn’t have a fucking ukulele on it.

BAD NEWS! You’re not exactly going to be dancing to this one.

GOOD NEWS! The chorus melody is really good.

GOOD NEWS! It might just be for Kanye and Paul’s album, ie it might not be a proper Rihanna single.

BAD NEWS! Rihanna’s referring to it as “my new music”.

GOOD NEWS! It does get a lot better after a few plays. It’s basically ‘a nice little tune’.

BAD NEWS! The sense that ‘FourFiveSeconds’ is getting better with repeated listens might be influenced by the fact that one wants it to be getting better. Still, what’s life without hope? For the time being let’s just file this one under ‘nice little tune’ and leave it there.

GOOD NEWS! There’s a video coming soon! If it’s got Macca getting shitfaced and raving in an Irish field then we’re all for it.

BAD NEWS! The video is unlikely to feature Macca getting shitfaced and raving in an Irish field.

GOOD NEWS! The new Rihanna album’s definitely on the way then. Also, you know how Rihanna doesn’t like to be second guessed – so there’s every chance that the sonic direction of this song is a deliberate red herring and that the first proper single from ‘R8′ will be an all-guns-blazing banger of Biblical proportions.

gotonwithit

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The 2015 Brits: who should win, and who will win http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-2015-brits-who-should-win-and-who-will-win/133829/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-2015-brits-who-should-win-and-who-will-win/133829/#comments Fri, 16 Jan 2015 12:24:25 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=133829 2015brit

BRITISH MALE SOLO ARTIST

Damon Albarn
Ed Sheeran
Sam Smith
George Ezra
Paulo Nutini

Who should win: George Ezra really isn’t as bad as he seems on paper, but nor is he quite as good as he seems on Twitter. So from this shortlist the Popjustice pick would be Ed Sheeran, who’s released three great singles, a partially great album, and exists in 2015 as proof that you can’t ever really write someone off because any popstar, even the very worst popstars in the world, might one day simply decide to simply stop being crap.

Who will win: You’d imagine Universal have more votes than Warners so presumably this one will go to Sam Smith.

BRITISH FEMALE SOLO ARTIST

Ella Henderson
FKA Twigs
Jessie Ware
Lily Allen
Paloma Faith

Who should win: FKA Twigs is probably a future Brit-winner – let’s return to that when her tunes are as great as everything else about her – but we’re going for Jessie Ware in 2015.

Who will win: Brits voting is split into two different types of vote. In some categories – like the Sam/Ed faceoff for British Male – voting’s likely to concern itself with labels wanting to show off about the Important Male Artists who’ve conquered the world. In this category it feels like there could be more of a sense of ‘which artist would benefit most from a Brit win?’. It’s a fair question. Ella, Lily and Paloma are hardly unknowns, which leaves FKA Twigs and Jessie Ware. Both fine artists of course, but it’s hard to imagine FKA Twigs’ style appealing to the Brits panel. We’re saying this could be a win for Jessie Ware – everyone thinks she’s good, nobody has any reason not to vote for her, most people agree her music deserves a wider audience. Failing that – and for a contrasting set of reasons – Paloma.

BRITISH GROUP

One Direction
Royal Blood
Clean Bandit
Alt J
Coldplay

Who should win: We actually feel that Royal Blood have done the most to justify a win in this category but let’s be honest, their music’s a right old racket. So let’s go for One Direction who made an excellent album even though they didn’t even need to.

Who will win: We’re predicting a surprise win for Clean Bandit, and if something else happens on the night we’ll simply come back and edit this post.

BRITISH BREAKTHROUGH

Chvrches
FKA Twigs
George Ezra
Royal Blood
Sam Smith

Who should win: Well Chvrches are the best of the lot here aren’t they?

Who will win: This one’s a public vote so we suppose is open to manipulation if, for instance, the indie brigade decide they want to make a point regarding Royal Blood. But it feels like Sam Smith will win most of the awards he’s been nominated for, even though we’d argue Royal Blood and George Ezra both had more breakthroughy 2014s.

BRITISH SINGLE

Calvin Harris – Summer
Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne – Rather Be
Duke Dumont ft Jax Jones – I Got U
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
Ella Henderson – Ghost
George – Ezra Budapest
Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk
Route 94 ft Jess Glynne – My Love
Sam Smith – Stay With Me
Sigma – Nobody to Love

Who should win: Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars – the best song here (with ‘Ghost’ and ‘Thinking Out Loud’ close behind). The Sigma single might have stood a chance if they’d bothered writing verses.

Who will win: Don’t forget that, as usual, Best Single is another of the categories the Brits don’t consider ‘proper’, which is to say they allow the public to vote, in spite of the fact that the public have already voted for their favourite single once by actually buying and streaming the songs. It’ll be an interesting vote – Ed Sheeran aside there are no nominees with wildly out of control fanbases, so we could actually be looking at a reasonably fair battle. We reckon that battle will be between Bronson, Smith and Sheeran; ‘Uptown Funk’ might lose out because voters don’t think it’s British enough, which means another Ed vs Sam faceoff. Ed Sheeran could win this one. (Having said this, ‘Rather Be’ is the only million-selling single on the shortlist, so it might sneak round the back and win.)

MASTERCARD BRITISH ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Alt-J – This Is All Yours
Ed Sheeran – X
George Ezra – Wanted On Voyage
Royal Blood – Royal Blood
Sam Smith – In The Lonely Hour

Who should win: Ed Sheeran.

Who will win: We’re saying a draw between Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith. There hasn’t been a good draw at the Brits for ages. If they won’t allow a draw we reckon they’ll declare Ed the winner.

BRITISH ARTIST VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Calvin Harris – Summer
Charli XCX – Boom Clap
Duke Dumont ft Jax Jones – I Got U
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk
One Direction – You And I
Rita Ora – I Will Never Let You Down
Route 94 ft Jess Glynne – My Love
Sam Smith – Stay With Me
Sigma – Nobody to Love

Who should win: We desperately want to say that Charli XCX should win a Brit this year but the ‘Boom Clap’ video was shit so we’re picking ‘Uptown Funk’, which is a total masterpiece.

Who will win: This is another ‘leave it to the fans while we concentrate on the proper categories’ job – the winner will be “identified during live social vote during TV broadcast on 25th February”, but the vote’s already taking place with the aim of whittling down the shortlist. For this reason we’d suggest a three horse race involving One Direction, Ed Sheeran and maybe Rita Ora, with One Direction’s video winning due to pier pressure. (Actually looking at that voting page, is it already in order of who’s getting the most votes? If it is, One Direction are already winning.)

INTERNATIONAL MALE SOLO ARTIST

Beck
Hozier
Jack White
John Legend
Pharrell Williams

Who should win: We’ll be happy with anyone except Jack White. Anyone. Even Beck.

Who will win: Pharrell.

INTERNATIONAL FEMALE SOLO ARTIST

Beyoncé
Lana Del Rey
Sia
St Vincent
Taylor Swift

Who should win: This is the best shortlist of the lot. Taylor Swift to win.

Who will win: Taylor Swift.

INTERNATIONAL GROUP

5 Seconds of Summer
The Black Keys
First Aid Kit
Foo Fighters
The War On Drugs

Who should win: In terms of the act whose album we’d happily sit through again this’ll have to be 5 Seconds Of Summer, but we reckon they’ll probably be more deserving of a win in 2017.

Who will win: People who vote for the Brits are the sort of people who like Foo Fighters, aren’t they?

GLOBAL SUCCESS AWARD

(No shortlist here – this one’s announced on the night.)

Who should win: Charli XCX. Come on you fuckers, show some respect to the planet’s greatest popstar.

Who will win: Is it cynical to think of this as the ‘sorry you didn’t win enough other awards’ award? Basically if Sam Smith sweeps the board Ed Sheeran will get it, and if Ed Sheeran gets everything else then Sam Smith will win. And they’ve both achieved a huge amount of global success so fair play etc.

BRITISH PRODUCER OF THE YEAR

Alison Goldfrapp & Will Gregory
Flood
Jake Gosling
Paul Epworth

Who should win: Eppo.

Who will win: Only four nominees here which seems a bit rude. Jake Gosling will win, presumably.

CRITICS’ CHOICE

James Bay
George The Poet
Years & Years

Who should have won: Years & Years, who should also win every single category next year for this song alone.

Who did win: James Bay – a sober reminder that the influence of Fearne Cotton should never be underestimated.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that.

Bookmark this page and come back on the night of the Brits to see how we did, but be quick because we’re definitely going to come back and change all our predictions so that it looks like we knew what we were talking about.

And if you’re a popstar and you don’t win, don’t worry – the award this year is totally revolting and will look ridiculous on your mantelpiece.

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