Popjustice » The Briefing http://www.popjustice.com 100% Solid Pop Music Fri, 10 Oct 2014 06:54:37 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Q4 In Crisis: 49 things pop must deliver before January 1 http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/q4-in-crisis-49-things-pop-must-deliver-before-january-1/131467/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/q4-in-crisis-49-things-pop-must-deliver-before-january-1/131467/#comments Wed, 08 Oct 2014 12:45:00 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131467 q4-in-crisis

Right, we’ve given it a week and we’ll be honest with you: Q4 is underperforming.

Yes, the David Guetta single is good in ways nobody could have expected. Yes, Avicii and Robbie’s single is ‘a big thing’ and bad in ways most people would have expected. Yes, McBusted’s single announcement is a pretty Q4 event. And yes, we’ll accept that the BBC did pull a big rabbit out of the hat last night with the One Direction and Jake Bugg collaboration.

But where’s everything else?

As we outlined last year in our introductory guide to all things Q4, Q4 is the most special time of year for pop music.

Qthousand4teen needs to buck up its ideas, and here’s what we want to see before 2015 comes along and ruins all the Q4 fun.


1. Let’s have a Rihanna single. We don’t even need a whole album. Just a single. We’ll take anything at this point.

2. McBusted’s ‘Air Guitar’ video needs to be set at a karaoke night; the full McBusted album must include a song about the demise of Busted.

3. Will Young doing The Beloved’s ‘Sweet Harmony’ for the John Lewis ad please.

4. Actually, thinking about it, let’s have a Rihanna album after all.

5. Gwen Stefani’s single has to be almost supernaturally incredible.


6. We don’t care if it’s finished or not: Tamera Foster’s debut single needs to come out this year and we don’t want any of this Sade bollocks people were talking about earlier this year. This needs to be balls-out amazing.

7. The only person allowed to release an album that sounds like Sade in Q4 is Sade, and even that’s pushing it a bit.

8. Almost one year ago to the day we tweeted about a new Calvin Harris album coming in 2014. This was based on an email we’d just got from his label but in a reply Calvin seemed quite surprised by the news. He’s since deleted that tweet but ‘Motion’ is indeed coming, and its release date falls in the pop calendar’s most exciting 25%. So we were right about the Calvin Harris album and Calvin Harris was wrong about the Calvin Harris album. The Gwen track obviously needs to be completely amazing, and the album’s not out for a few weeks so there’s still plenty of time for Calvin to release a few more singles, thus achieving the impressive ‘half a greatest hits’ feel he pulled off on ’18 Months’. (We also like the American Horror Story-esque ‘returning cast’ feel of Ellie Goulding and Theo Hurts coming back to do some more songs.)

9. It’s yet to be officially announced but The Saturdays’ Christmas album must be completely ridiculous, but it must also not be total shit. As well as sleighbell-strewn original songs the album must include covers of Low’s ‘Just Like Christmas’, Saint Etienne’s ‘I Was Born On Christmas Day’ (with Marvin Humes as Tim Burgess), Hurts’ ‘All I Want For Christmas Is New Year’s Day’ and Leona’s ‘One More Sleep’, plus the greatest festive single in recent history – Paul Holt’s ‘Fifty Grand For Christmas’. It must be called ‘On Your Reindeer’.

10. Something about Adele.

11. One Direction’s farewell album must follow in the pensive footsteps of ‘Fireproof’.

12. Sorry to go on about this, but about this Rihanna album. We’ve heard murmurings of guitars. But Charli XCX’s involvement has also been mooted. The latter would be acceptable, as would a combination of both.


13. Taylor Swift’s album must be the album of the year. To give you some idea of the scale of this album’s power, Max Martin’s done at least nine songs. Don’t let us down Max.

14. In other Max Martin news, we’d like to hear the fruits of Tove Lo’s writing sessions as part of Max’s team, and in total we’d like to hear three different Max Martin-helmed singles by three different non-Swift US recording artists before Q4 is out.

15. She might be the planet’s least self aware popstar but even Jessie J must know that this new album of hers is make or break, at least in terms of the international superstar status she covets. The good news is she’s got form when it comes to decent songs.

16. Emeli Sandé’s already sidled her way into one big Q4 release (ie that BBC ‘God Only Knows’ single) but there’s still time to whack out a single and album before the end of Q4. Obviously, as she’s discussed in the past, she has strong feelings about how exploitative shows like The X Factor can be. The good news is that she’s more than happy to put her strong principles to one side if there’s a chance of flogging some music, so maybe she could appear (yet again) on one of the live shows.

bangerz miley cyrus artwork

17. If a ‘Bangerz’ repack called ‘Banger2′ definitely isn’t happening we want to know why and we want the names and addresses of everybody involved in this heinous decision.

18. It’s increasingly hard to see where Madonna’s music promo ends and her hashtag addiction begins, but an album definitely exists and while it’s scheduled for 2015 we mustn’t forget that she’s managed by the same man who ‘masterminded’ the U2 iTunes release, and Madonna’s still one of the few artists who could just about cause the necessary fuss a semi-Beyoncé requires.

19. Speaking of U2, isn’t there supposed to be another album on its way? Not the forthcoming physical release of ‘Songs Of Innocence’ (which is a release that takes the one good thing about that album – the artwork – and changes it). A completely different one. Given how long they spent between albums there must be several potential U2 albums knocking around. They could chuck an LP onto iTunes once a week for the rest of Q4 if they wanted to, but the one we’d be interested in hearing is the one that contains the RedOne sessions.

20. We’re going to set ourselves up for a fall here but we’re crossing our fingers for a Cheryl album with more than three good songs on it.

21. More importantly, would a surprise Nicola Roberts track between Christmas and New Year be too much to ask for? She’s been in the studio, at least one of the songs must be SoundCloud ready.

22. Do you think it would help if we just phoned Rihanna every two days to ask how she was getting on?

Olly Murs album

23. ‘Oily’ Murs has an album on its way. The first single’s not great, but he usually manages a few decent tracks from each album campaign, and given Olly’s standing in the British male pop ‘community’ we’re going to have to demand at least one all-out triumph. “I want to be the biggest male artist in the country,” he recently told Music Week. “I might never get there but I’m going to keep going until that day when you know it’s over.” We’re not sure what to make of that; nor are we entirely sure what to make of this: “I look at the market and always try to challenge myself. So if I hear an Avicii song I might want to write an Avicii song.” (Apparently one song on his album, the Steve Mac and Wayne Hector track ‘Stick With Me’, does indeed sound a little bit like an Avicii song.)

24. The Nicki Minaj album is going to be great, right?

25. One of the things we really love about the current Kylie ‘era': the way Kylie’s letting leftover tracks find their way to fans. Another thing we like about the current Kylie ‘era': loads of these songs are actually really good. We’d like to see another surprise EP release on the morning of December 25.

26. David Guetta‘s new single is great. Will the album also be great? No, it will contain a large amount of old nonsense, but ‘Dangerous’ is a good reminder that Dave should never be underestimated.

27. Susan Boyle’s album features a version of ‘You Raise Me Up’ featuring the Lakewood Church Choir. This must have a massive donk at the end of it.

28. Iggy Azalea‘s reissuing her album. It’ll include new songs with Charli XCX and Ellie Goulding which is all very well but Azo needs to bin off the title (‘The New Classic: Reclassified’) and call the reissue ‘First Things Second’.

Ella Henderson

29. We’re afraid we’re going to have to insist that Ella Henderson – whose album is out next week – stages a stupendous X Factor performance with fire and a choir. Fire And A Choir should actually be deployed on all X Factor performances.

30. This isn’t a demand as such but bear in mind Status Quo have an acoustic album coming out. It’s called… ‘Aquostic’.

31. The thing is, Rihanna’s at a point now where if she doesn’t want to release an album, she just won’t. That’s the problem. She’s too big. This is our fault, and your fault. We created a monster.

32. Released on November 3, James Blunt‘s ‘Moon Landing (Apollo Edition)’ is perhaps the quintessential Q4 release. You know those ‘hilarious’ videos of posh actors reading out deranged tweets and YouTube comments? We would like this James Blunt release to include a hidden track in which James Blunt’s tweets are read out in a posh voice, ie by James Blunt.

33. Do you think Sia might release a second single at some point?

34. The BBC Music Awards – which take place on December 11 – need to be properly amazing and they need to be a proper snapshot of what people around the country actually enjoy listening to, ie it can’t just be a wobbleboard player off Jools Holland, Clean Bandit, and a ‘once in a lifetime’ collaboration between Tinie Tempah and some sort of symphony orchestra. It’ll be hosted by Fearne Cotton and Chris Evans.

35. Speaking of Fearne Cotton, don’t panic guys – there’s a Radio 1 Live Lounge compilation album out on October 27! We’d like to see Fearne Cotton write track-by-track sleevenotes for this one, and under each and every song title we’d like to see one of these three phrases: “Goosebumps.” “Real talent.” “Just wow.”

36. The 2014 Popjustice Twenty Quid Music Prize has to be won by a brilliant song. This year’s shortlist is the strongest in years; if you’d like to join us in London to be part of the judging process see this page for details.

37. Sam Bailey’s due to appear on the X Factor semi-final, flogging the new edition of her album ‘The Power Of Love’. We can’t seem to find the artwork online yet so we’re hoping there’s still time for her label to consider one of these suggestions.


38. ‘Christmas At Downton Abbey’ is out on November 10. It features cast members singing and if there isn’t a version of ‘Fancy’ by Hugh Bonneville and Maggie Smith the whole release will be entirely pointless.

39. Seriously, if there isn’t a sniff of Rihanna by the first week of December we’re hiring a lookalike, a soundalike, some songwriters and a video director and sorting this out ourselves. Someone has to take responsibility for this shambles.

40. Right. Sugababes. Mutya Keisha Siobhan. Whatever they’re called these days. Something, as they posted just yesterday, is actually happening. We know ‘something’ is ‘happening’ every fortnight with that lot, but it does seem like something’s moving along this time. Moving forward we should probably look at Sugababes not as potential chart-toppers whose releases should be judged on their commercial success. Instead we must see this whole thing as a beautiful pop miracle that we are privileged to witness. They’ll put out some music at some point. It’ll be great. And that, really, should be enough.

41. Is there any chance Little Mix could pull their forty fingers out please because a lyrically generic but sonically fantastic empowerment banger is exactly what we all need during the cold Q4 months.

42. December 13 is Beyoncé Day. Beyoncé Day is the day on which any artist whose release schedule has gone a bit wonky during the preceding twelve months is required, by law, to just chuck an album on iTunes. It’s the day on which artists and labels cut their losses on slightly messy attempts to make or release an album. In a way, Beyoncé Day is a solid incentive to labels not to mess around. They can’t say “oh dear radio isn’t playing the single we thought we’d launch the album with, let’s try again with another one in four months and hope for the best”. Artists, meanwhile, can’t say “I’m not sure if this album is cohesive as a body of work, let’s scrap everything and start again”. The rule is this: if you’ve recorded an album’s worth of songs (which is twelve of them), it goes on sale on December 13 whether you like it or not.

43. Beyoncé should beyoncé an album on Beyoncé Day. (NOT A REMIX ALBUM.) (MAYBE THE BEY & JAY DUETS ALBUM.)

44. It goes without saying that if the music industry agrees to stick to the rules outlined above, Beyoncé Day may well be the day we receive a surprise Rihanna album.


45. Remember that thing the other week where Robyn was saying she’d recorded a new EP with Markus Jägerstedt and the late Christian Falk? Well let’s have that in the middle of November please, because nothing says Christmas quite like Robyn. If we could have another EP of the Jam & Lewis stuff in Q1 that’d be brill, cheers.

46. Do you think Adam Lambert might sneak a new single out over the Christmas period?

47. The biggest release day of Q4 comes just over halfway into the season of goodcashcows: on November 24 alone there are album releases from David Guetta, Nicki Minaj, Olly Murs and Susan Boyle. You know it’s an important date – the latest Now compilation’s out too. On this date we’d also like a surprise release of a Britney EP.

48. A number of proposed Q4 UK releases by Popjustice-approved solo singers of song have slipped back to 2015. These include albums by Tove Lo, Ella Eyre, Charli XCX, Indiana and Rita Ora. Ironically, by attempting to avoid a Q4 solo singer bottleneck, these artists may collectively have created a brand new one in Q1. Many of these will probably leak in the tail end of Q4, so that will be something to spice up the BLOODY BORING period between Christmas and New Year.

49. Did we mention Rihanna?


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25 name suggestions for The X Factor’s absurd eight-piece boyband http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/25-name-suggestions-for-the-x-factors-absurd-eight-piece-boyband/131357/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/25-name-suggestions-for-the-x-factors-absurd-eight-piece-boyband/131357/#comments Sat, 04 Oct 2014 13:38:17 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131357 8-piece-x-factor-boyband-fiasco

It is claimed that The X Factor’s ludicrous/possibly amazing eight-piece boyband are still looking for a name. They are even running a competition to look for a suitable moniker.

Let’s assume for one moment that this is a genuine predicament and not one that has been invented in an attempt to increase #engagement in the run-up to the live finals. Let’s just go with it and accept that this band does actually need a decent name.

Here are 25 suggestions, any one of which would surely be perfect.

1. Better Eight Than Never

2. Huit Just A Goddamn Minute

3. #8anter

4. It Must Be Something I Eight

5. Love Octually

6. 8 Seconds Of Q4

7. A Huge Evergrowing Pulseighting Boyband That Rules From The Centre Of Fountain Studios

8. Byte

9. Variable Interest R8

10. Middle Eight

11. Bottom Eight

12. Maids-A-Milking

13. One Fat Lady

14. Magic 8 Ball

15. Magic 16 Balls

16. TUV

17. Identical Hairpieces Of Eight

18. 5ive And Some Spares

19. Green With EnVIII

20. Triple 8 ÷ 3

21. 2w0Cub3d

22. Myriad Directions

23. Eight Boys One Haircut

24. Leave It M8 It’s Not Worth It

25. OctAve A Banana

You’re welcome, mystery X Factor boyband. You are so welcome.

(Readers – if you’d like to use one of the above names to enter that competition please go right ahead – they do st8 “don’t use the number or word 8″ quite clearly but we think some of our suggestions are strong enough to make them change their minds.)

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Jennifer Davies has the biggest roll of Bacofoil you have ever seen http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/jennifer-davies-has-the-biggest-roll-of-bacofoil-you-have-ever-seen/131351/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/jennifer-davies-has-the-biggest-roll-of-bacofoil-you-have-ever-seen/131351/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2014 14:14:03 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131351 jennifer-davies

We’ve been following Jennifer Davies‘ pop adventures for a few years now.

We’ve covered her as she’s made music in a number of guises whose names have become less and less unorthodox: first she was the singer in Soft Toy Emergency, then she reinvented herself as Vela, then she had a bash at being Jenn D. Now she’s just Jennifer Davies, but while her moniker’s about as down to earth as it can get her music’s hit a bold new creative streak. We’ve liked each of her varied incarnations in different ways, but it’s this latest one that makes the most sense.

Jennifer recently whacked online a free EP of tunes; we’ll chuck all the tracks at the bottom of this post but first up here’s a premiere of dramatic electropowerballad ‘Choke’.

Pretty good right?

This is ‘Silhouette':

This is the just-very-slightly-Kylie-esque video she and her longterm collaborator Maxx Peter made for ‘Lapse Of Time':

This is ‘Cant Get Used To Losing You':

And this is ‘Disconnected’.

As we mentioned, you can get the whole EP as a free download…

…and you can keep up with Jennifer on Twitter and Facebook.

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Pixie Lott’s current single is actually alright http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/pixie-lotts-current-single-is-actually-alright/131342/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/pixie-lotts-current-single-is-actually-alright/131342/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2014 10:42:53 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131342 pixie lott 2014

We like to laugh at Pixie Lott don’t we. How we laugh!

HA. Pixie Lott with her songs that aren’t selling as well as the songs that sold well.

HA HA. Pixie Lott with those endorsement deals she does that aren’t quite as classy as those endorsement deals Beyoncé does.

HA HA HA. Pixie Lott with her appearance on Strictly Come Dancing.

HA HA HA HA. Pixie Lott who has the audacity to carry on with her career even though you listen to ‘Boom Clap’.

HA HA HA HA HA. Pixie Lott with her covetable lifestyle, her strong vocal talent, her double platinum debut album, her eye-wateringly hot model boyfriend and her decent public profile, but let’s ignore all the stuff she’s got going for her because HA HA HA HA HA HA.

It’s no secret that Pixie’s most recent comeback single ‘Nasty’ was a load of old shit and the last thing she needed at a point in time when only a certified belter would really have done the trick in terms of full-on career resuscitation, and it’s also true that ‘Break Up Song’ is a good song.

So what do we all do?

Do we as music fans ignore this good single because other people consider Pixie Lott a laughing stock? Or do we say, actually, fuck that, let’s give it a few listens over the next few weeks, let’s enjoy it when it’s on the radio (caveat: this song will probably not be on the radio for reasons outlined below), and let’s maybe come across it a few years from now quite by accident and think to ourselves “actually do you know what it’s nice to hear this again”?

Obviously it is the year 2014. XCX AD. ‘Break Up Song’ doesn’t really sound very 2014 any more than Pixie Lott seems like the sort of artist who’d get a record deal in 2014. But are we so obsessed with living every minute of our lives on the bleeding edge of pop that every song we let into our ears has to have MNEK or someone off The Hype Machine or one of Dr Luke’s team somewhere in the writing and production credits, or a sodding banjo in the mix?

‘Break Up Song’ is a good song. It is not a song that will change the world. It is not the second coming of ‘We Found Love’. It’s somewhere above a 6/10 and somewhere below a 7/10.

Yes, we know, ‘good enough’ isn’t good enough. Demand excellence at all times from all popstars. Blah blah blah. But are there so many a-list world class 10/10 Max Martin-level epic bangers floating around that we can consume a balanced pop diet by only listening to those songs?

You don’t have to buy Pixie’s album. In fact we’d strongly suggest you don’t, because it’s not very good. But that’s not the point. The point is that not everything in pop has to be your next obsession. It’s fine to just like something. You don’t have to spend £18.99 (or whatever Pixie’s rate is) on a VIP meet and greet ticket. You don’t have to declare your undying love for Pixie Lott on Facebook. You don’t have to get “MAMA DO” tattooed repeatedly up and down the length of your cock.

Pop music needs its Charlis. But sometimes it also needs its Pixies. It needs people who’ll knock out a good song every now and again. It needs popstars who’ll turn up on time, sing a good song well and get out.

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The actual best bit of the Olly Murs lyric video… http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-actual-best-bit-of-the-olly-murs-lyric-video/131327/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/the-actual-best-bit-of-the-olly-murs-lyric-video/131327/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2014 07:35:25 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131327 …is this.


It’s actually a different bridge so 6/10 overall but it was a decent attempt.

(You can watch the rest of it here but you’ve already seen the best bit so you might be better off doing something else with 3:09-plus-preroll of your time.)

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Boyband Blowout: TBA http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-tba/131040/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-tba/131040/#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 16:06:54 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131040 tba

Where are they from?

TBA are from various locations, all TBA.

Who are they?

TBA is an eight-piece octopop experiment that exists in the mind of Simon Cowell, and probably also in some sort of secret safehouse or behind the padlocked door of a far-flung branch of Big Yellow Self Storage. But TBA do not yet exist for viewers of this year’s X Factor. Those viewers may well have seen the members audition as soloists but are still to witness the outfit on stage together. (They were unveiled during the filmed bootcamp sessions at Wembley, but we’re fucked if we can find a photo online.)

What do they do?

Sing, dance, look pretty happy until the third album campaign rolls around by which point they’re just hanging on for the cash and wearing hats that make them look like witches etc etc etc.

Did they do the ice bucket challenge?

Sadly TBA do not appear to have done the Ice Bucket Challenge but it would make a good setpiece when it comes to the live finals, would it not? GET FRIEDMAN ON THE PHONE.

What do their fans say?

This, like the band’s name, is TBA. But you can probably imagine how it will all pan out.

What is their best song?

It’s fair to assume they’ll be covering a Sam Smith tune at some point during the live finals. So, not that one.

What’s next?

You’ll find out this weekend during one of the three (!) X Factor episodes ITV are chucking onto the airwaves.

Where are they?

Like we say they’re probably in a Cowell safehouse (ie Sinitta’s garden shed) but you would expect Syco to ensure that by this time next year they’re here, there and round the corner because if they’re not then what, quite frankly, is the point?

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Boyband Blowout: After Romeo http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-after-romeo/131050/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-after-romeo/131050/#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:55:56 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131050 After Romeo

Where are they from?

After Romeo are from America.

Who are they?

According to their Wikipedia entry, LA-based quintet After Romeo are a “pop – rhythm and blues band”, which is certainly one way of describing them. Their YouTube channel is a weird mix of truly awful covers (be warned, their ‘reading’ of Swifto’s ‘Shake It Off‘ may ruin the original forever), horrendous ‘video content‘ marking each member out as instantly slappable, and some of their own songs, one of which is called – wait for it – ‘LOL (Love On Lock)’.

What do they do?

They seem intent on striking a weird balance between annoying frat party jocks and earnest cover version artistes. Also – and this might actually be the best thing about them – they call their fans “Bromeos & Juliets”.

Did they do the Ice Bucket Challenge?

Never ones to miss an opportunity for something to go viral, After Romeo did their definitely-for-charity challenge in the middle of Times Square in New York.

What do their fans say?

“I fucken love u guys but I am not gay” – Jackson Dunphy, via YouTube

“Oh my god I’m crying. Not really. But I’ve been waiting for these songs forever!”- Kacci Johnson, via YouTube

“ok I admit I have a slight obsession with @afterromeo but it’s their fault that they’re hot and amazing” – @Tell_Me_Wishes 

What is their best song?

Weirdly they only seem to have one full song on their extensive YouTube account but this snippet of a sort-of-Tedder-lite moody ballad has the potential to be marginally listenable.

What’s next?

According to After Romeo Updates on Twitter, After Romeo’s next single is called ‘Juliet’ and will be out on November 19. Mind you, they then say “but we will see”, which sounds pretty ominous actually.

Where are they?

They’re on Twitter. They’re also on Facebook. They’re on their own actual website.

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Boyband Blowout: Justice Crew http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-justice-crew/131020/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-justice-crew/131020/#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:26:56 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131020 justice-crew-flying-around

Where are they from?

Justice Crew are from Australia.

Who are they?

A former dance crew who won season four of Australia’s Got Talent four years ago, Justice Crew have settled on a six-member lineup for the purposes of ‘pop stardom’. They signed to Sony after winning Australia’s Got Talent and released some tunes that did alright but it was ‘Boom Boom’ that really did the business for the band, giving them their first Number One single and going six times platinum in Australia.

What do they do?

Dance a lot and take their shirts off more than you might argue is strictly necessary. They’ve supported Pitbull and Chris Brown, and Flo Rida has appeared on one of their singles.

Did they do the Ice Bucket Challenge?

They most certainly did, and they no doubt very reluctantly took their shirts off in order to do it.

With any luck the enjoyment they got from executing this charitable act is directly proportional to the money they helped raise.

What do their fans say?

“i like justice crew haha” – @twinbumps


“they like touching their balls ALOT” – Matra Ruom, via YouTube

What is their best song?

‘Que Sera’ has a pleasing stompy quality and offers the following advice: “At the end of the day, some you win, some you don’t.”

What’s next?

‘Que Sera’ is coming out in the UK next month. We quite like the lyric video teaser thing they did a few months ago.

Where are they?

They’re on Twitter. They’re also on Facebook. They’re on their own actual website.

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Boyband Blowout: Spoon http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-spoon/131030/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-spoon/131030/#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:18:02 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131030 SPOON

Where are they from?

Spoon are from Hungary.

Who are they?

Spoon – A BOYBAND CALLED SPOON – were first seen by Hungarian audiences on this year’s X Faktor, which our rudimentary Hungarian/English translation skills tell us is, quite obviously, the Hungarian version of The Voice.

What do they do?

They wear matching t-shirts. They play guitars, or at least two of them do. They have hair. They can stand up straight, which seems to suggest they all have spines. Look there are only so many pieces of information we can really extract from a couple of photos and one bit of audio. We just wanted to write about a boyband called Spoon. Did they get through to the next stage of X Faktor? Were they divided into two acts: one playing guitars, the others just singing? Who knows? Apart from anyone who watches TV in Hungary, but even so, who really knows?

Did they do the Ice Bucket Challenge?

There is no evidence of Spoon taking part in the Ice Bucket Challenge – though there is nothing to suggest that they would decline if nominated. Actually is the Ice Bucket Challenge even still happening or did it just implode once it got to Russ from Scooch?

What do their fans say?

It would be unfair to say that Spoon have no fans - this page has 970 likes, for instance – but the internet doesn’t seem to be groaning under the weight of Spoon fans attempting to trend the name of their favourite act. What are Spoon fans even called? Spooners? Spoonerists? SPOONBENDERS? Hard to say.

What is their best song?

It would have to be what is apparently their only song: their own version of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ ‘Can’t Hold Us’. Perhaps they need to do some more covers to really engage with potential fans. We propose ‘How Spoon Is Now’, ‘Dude Looks Like A Ladle’ and’You Cutlery Love’.

What’s next?

To all utensil purposes world domination seems a given.

Where are they?

They appear to be on Facebook.

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Boyband Blowout: The Main Level http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-the-main-level/131045/ http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/boyband-blowout-the-main-level/131045/#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 14:56:05 +0000 http://www.popjustice.com/?p=131045 The Main Level

Where are they from?

The Main Level are from Norway.

Who are they?

Taking the route favoured by most current popstars, The Main Level started out by filming themselves covering just about every song they could find and uploading it all to YouTube (this pensive version of ‘Here’s To Never Growing Up’ is rather nice). Rather than just sticking a camera phone in a broom cupboard and tinkling away on a battered keyboard, their videos all came with pretty high production values which suggested there was label backing from the very start. After six months of dicking around with other people’s songs they eventually released their debut single in the shape of the breezy singalong, ‘Blackout’, which was recently followed two weeks ago by ‘Go Go With You’.

What do they do?

If you’re thinking those “woah oh oh” bits in ‘Blackout’ are ‘quite’ One Direction then it’s also worth bearing in mind that ‘Go Go With You’ was the song that tricked some people into thinking it was the new One Direction single when it ‘leaked’ this morning.

Did they do the Ice Bucket challenge?

No. :(

What do their fans say?

“I think I broke the replay button :/ your song is awesome !!!” – Nurul Izzah Ab Hadi, via YouTube

“One moment.. is this your own single?  I thought this was a cover because this is a great song!! You rock, guys!!” – Alissa Jackson, via YouTube

“my mother told me that if i listen to “go go with you” again she will kill me lol” – @lukeyslove

What is their best song?

Despite the slightly dangerous-sounding lyrics (“make you blackout like I do, when I think of you”), ‘Blackout’ feels like the perfect template for a boyband single in 2014.

What’s next?

According to Twitter the ‘boys’ are currently in the studio working on some new songs that seem to involve guitars, although hopefully they will be used for good rather than evil.

Where are they?

They’re on Twitter. They’re also on Facebook. They’re on their own actual website.

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