1. Icona Pop
At the time of writing it is November 8 2012 and the album is out in Sweden next week. Fuck knows whether it's any good or not because we haven't heard the whole thing, but what we have heard (which is most of it 'tbh') is remarkable, spiky, buoyant modern pop. It still feels as if they're a bit too angular for the mainstream and a bit too mainstream for the Pop Music For People Who Don't Like Pop Music brigade but we hope their album makes enough sense to enough people for a second LP to make sense to the band.
2. Girls Aloud
They are The Aloud. So they are on the Almighty almost by default, but they're also here because 'Something New' is very exciting indeed and the standard tracklisting of 'Ten' is pretty good too. More importantly 'Ten''s deluxe tracklisting - with all those immense album tracks and b-sides - is a vital and ridiculously well-chosen sort-of-secret history of the Britain's best-ever girlband. So WELL DONE THE FANS.
3. Stockholm Syndrome
'Rising from the ashes' of Love Generation, Stockholm Syndrome recently released their first single 'Pretty Girl', which is both mental and fantastic. It's been online for a few weeks now but we forgot to write about it - 'apols'.
It's currently 99p on UK iTunes.
The next single is a belter.
5. Lady Gaga
Look, she hasn't really done much of note but we just want to say that we're keeping our eye on her. Clearly, when she's on fire she's the greatest popstar in the world. And just as clearly, when she's not on fire, and when she just gets it wrong, it's embarrassing and obvious to everyone except Gaga herself. We don't want our favourite artist of the last decade to be a laughing stock. So we have our fingers crossed. (We liked the tweets she did from the private plane the other day - they seemed like a glimpse of the Lady Gaga we almost all fell in love with.)
666. Jake Bugg
With a lot of problematic New Boring-related artists the real problem is not the artist - like Ed Sheeran - but fans who (like Ed's) argue their point with all the reasoning power of a bouncy castle. Unusually, almost joyously, the worst thing about Jake Bugg actually is Jake Bugg. Do you know what annoys us most about Jake Bugg? That we have 'Two Fingers' sitting in our Recently Added playlist on iTunes, after we bought it the other week. Why did we buy the song - whose lyrics, lest we forget, include the line "skin up a fat one, hide from the Feds" - when it is so obviously so bad? Well we wanted to see the writing credits. Because we were sure we'd heard that he used co-writers in his music, meaning that when he went off on that rant about how Leona Lewis was probably crap because she didn't write her own songs, it all seemed a bit odd. If he did use co-writers, we thought, it would make him a complete hypocrite. So anyway we downloaded 'Two Fingers' and yes it turns out that it was a co-write with producer Iain Archer. And now 'Two Fingers' is stuck in our bloody iTunes, popping up every now and again when we forgot to stop the music immediately before it. (The Ellie Goulding album since you ask.) Look basically we don't like his music and he seems like a dick. He'll probably be less of a dick in two years, but we're holding out less hope for the music.